Reviews For Dolor Lake

Name: starlitcastles (Signed) · Date: 09 Sep 2019 04:56 AM · For: Dolor Lake

Hello there!

I have actually been meaning to properly take the time to sit down and review this story for the longest time but never had the opportunity or time to do so until now! That being said, I am now finally getting around to doing so. Anyway, onto the review!

The first thing I notice about this story during my reading is that the monster that you depicted in this story very much sinister and tenebrous as the monsters that you hear or read about. This monster, however, is profound in the sense that it being metaphorical instead of physical and there were chills with the way you depicted about it word by word. I honestly felt having read this in second person point of view was an unexpected at first since I had no idea where this was going but also found myself intrigued seeing as the readers going forward to get a sense of how daunting, vile, and evocative this monster of the lake is despite it being anything but that of physical. I feel that your imagery of this monster is just so good that I was just shivering as I read it and or at least the thought.  I will say that while this monster is metaphorical than physical in a sense, I actually pondered as if the interpretation of the monster is left with the readers as well since I have a few ideas of what it could stand for or it means from the depiction. For me, it feels like it's depression more than anything since you mentioned many things like how it takes away the passions you have or that feeling when you feel that you're living in a differing world from those around you which I'll get more into detail about later in the review. I do want to mention the way the monster lures us, the readers towards it, definitely gave me chills since it genuinely reminds me of the stories I heard of people being lured by the false pretense of a good deed coming from the unknown that you hear from scary stories from time to time.


The part where you compared the character's point of view which is meant to be us, the reader, in contrast to those around us, from those around us which I am wondering as if for them to be that of our very own friends, family members, and or perhaps even our classmates and so forth and how they're viewing life in contrast to ours truly is one of my favorite parts. I felt this part where you wrote:  "Soon the color and life, especially of those around you who basked in the floral foray of the meadows beneath an endless sun that was theirs to command, became too bright to bear, and you'd slink away to the water's edge to save your eyes from their rainbow of offences." is very realistic. The reason I say that because you get a sense of.  I found the comparison especially in this sense is very realistic because in reality, we, as a people, deal with our own personal struggles and when that is happening, especially if we're not in a wonderful place in life, everybody else around us seems to be living in another world or it seems that way to us because the monster has taken us as its own prisoner to the point that we seek it rather than go on doing what everybody else is doing and or we feel that we can't truly comprehend it as we used to because of it. The world that they're living feels very far away and distant because we're now sunk into the darkness after the monster shows us its true form. I feel the monster in this sense is pulling us away from the reality that we're meant to live in.


The part where you described the monster removes the reader from their passions is haunting because the feeling of numbness is scary and the apathy feels as if it's holding onto you as if you're a prisoner of it and in the story, it feels like the monster is holding your feelings and or passion. It's a haunting feeling when you become numb and the apathy has you as captive to the point that your passions and or things that you took so much joy in being sucked away by it is the worse and I love that you also captured that magnificently.


Honestly, this story is genuinely dark in tone but I love how the words seem to be woven together and that you're able to describe how depression seems to have different ways of affecting us in doing so by describing it in the form of the monster. I admit that while I'm not the biggest horror fan in general but I found the way your writing capturing the monster of the lake and or one that lives within this lake in this sense truly affected me not just because of the creepiness factor but also the way you used the imagery as well as having the character be a second person instead of one that is given to us. It feels like going on this weird ride in a theme park that functions on its own if that's what I have to describe it as? Definitely a wonderful read and so glad to finally have the chance to read it as well.


Keep up the amazing job! 


Name: starbuck (Signed) · Date: 06 Dec 2018 05:28 PM · For: Dolor Lake

I don't think i  have proper words for this story.


The way you used second person was one of the most effective ways i've read that POV ever. It felt like  i was the person in the story and that's truly frightening. It shows how exceptional you are as a writer to be able to pull in your reader and make them ( feel the things and see the things from the story. I think that the way you describe depression is incredibly strong in the sense of capturing the absolute indifference and numbness...which is a lot more horrible than just sadness because when you're sad, at least you feel care. And numbness is the real enemy :/


Wonderful piece of writing, Rumpels



Name: dreamgazer220 (Signed) · Date: 22 Jul 2018 09:47 PM · For: Dolor Lake

Rumpels. I... Rumpels. Wow.

{Yes hi, I'm here for our swap and to finally read this amazing story I keep hearing so much about!}

This was so powerful. I loved that you wrote this in second person; it really helped with the emotional impact and I had chills the whole time. You did an amazing job capturing depression, and I absolutely loved that you used the lake to illustrate it. The first sentence really struck me and drew me in, and you captured my attention the entire time. When it was over, I was left speechless and I'm still trying to figure out how to exactly articlate my feelings about this piece. I wanted more, though - I was left almost disappointed that it was over, but that's just how powerful your writing is. 

There are so many phrases and words that stuck out to me, but this is the one that caught me the most: On occasion, but only when you've fallen for that trick before, it'll talk to you sweetly, candy-coated words flow effortlessly over a sugary lips--a siren's call that pierces the surface so subtly that you could have sworn it didn't come from the lake. This is the line that gave me chills, and while it's something I've never dealt with personally, you still wrote it in such a way that I felt sort of heavy as the story went on.

And when it starts to speak? And the phrases it uses to call you back; that was the perfect way to describe the temptation.

I feel like I should have so many more words of praise for you on this, but I was really blown away, and I totally see why it's gotten such high praise from those who have read it. This is so strong and powerful and emotional, and it's hard to believe that you wrote less than 1000 words and still managed to make me feel like this.

Thank you so much for sharing this story with us, and congratulations on all of the recognition; it really, really deserves it ♥

Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 15 Jul 2018 12:27 AM · For: Dolor Lake

Hey Rumpels!

So this piece deals with depression in an unnamed original character and is written in the second person point of view. By writing it in second person POV, you've already created a huge challenge for yourself, but it also provides a different perspective than we, as readers, might get if it was in third or first person. By using the "you" it appears to be talking about us as readers, being dragged down into the deep pool of darkness. Your skill with description is evident as I truly felt like I could hear the sound of hands hitting wet clay and the visual of losing color and going to grayscale is phenomenal. The metaphor of the whole piece of the monster hiding in the depths of a dark, cool, lake until you realize what it really is and you break as a representation of how depression can manifest is just brilliant. It's a very good way of illustrating how it is different for everyone but also how it may be for some. Honestly, just so well done and I look forward to reading more of your works. 

~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response:

Hey, Madi!


I really enjoy writing in's really just about what feeling I want to project in the story when I choose perspective. Not only did I use you to affect the readers, but I also used it to distance myself away from the content (if that makes sense). <3 I'm glad you enjoyed the descriptions! I really enjoy playing with dark imagery. 


THanks so much, Madi <3333

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 18 Jun 2018 10:46 PM · For: Dolor Lake

Heyyy! <3


[Here for our swap!]


I was scrolling through your AP, and originally I’d intended to head straight for the tanka piece you wrote for Kenny’s challenge, but then I saw this, and I couldn’t not read it. Not only because it won a MFWHATA (that award name will never cease to make me smile <3), nor because it was nominated, but because you seem to have a gift for dark pieces, and the subject matter definitely interested me. I have to get better about reading about different types of diversity, as well. <3


The extended metaphor in this is just beautifully written. Each word you chose had a clear, distinct purpose in expanding this metaphor and defining it to its fullest, and I love that. The descriptions aren’t here just for imagery’s sake; they have a meaning to it, and I think you wrote this whole piece so, so well. I especially loved the way you started off describing the monster by what it was not – it didn’t have “greying flesh, yellowing fangs, or beady, soulless eyes,” it didn’t “breathe fire or spew venomous liquids” – and this way of describing it manages to bring our mind to the worst…all while saying that the monster is calm, lurking.


And I just realized this, but the second person is perfect. There is no other point of view that would suit this beautiful piece half as well, because it feels like the monster is talking to you, the reader, and I got chills reading this. (Whenever I read something that scares me on a fundamental level and really makes me think about numbness and lack of feeling, I start to lose feeling in my hands and it’s hard to type/write with it. I don’t know why, but it just does. And it’s happening here, which means you did a really beautiful, amazing job, to me.)


This idea of losing passion is such a scary one. Of everything that I can feel, I hate feeling numb the most, and these days I feel like I’ve been feeling that so much. There are some days I just want to avoid the Internet forever, because I think it’s sometimes feeding this cycle of apathy I have, but things that I love (or used to love? I still love it though I think), like practicing on the piano, talking with my friends, etc. have become exponentially more difficult to care about. [Sorry about the personal bit; this piece made me think about myself a lot. I definitely don’t claim to halfway understand personally what the character in your fic is feeling, but I still thought about it a little.]


I like how the ending isn’t comforting. It’s implied to be an endless cycle that only drags you in further, and I like how you’ve reflected that idea in the way you wrote this.


Beautiful, beautiful job, Rumpels. <3



Author's Response:

Hey, Eva! 


This piece was part cathartic, part wanting to explore a part of myself that I try not to delve into often. It was definitely inspired by the often-used metaphor of depression being a monster but I wanted to present that monster so that it conformed to showcase how depression has affected me, specifically, after coming down from a manic episode. I don't think I intentionally wrote it from second perspective -- it was more or less something that just happened. I'm glad it worked well in the overall effect of the piece. I'm sorry it made you think about things that frightened you, though! *hug* 


I went through about a four-year-span [sometime post-college] where I had lost passion for everything and I sank into a really bad depression. It was no longer my typical brand of bipolar, where there was a reprieve and I could feel alive again, but it was just four years of mostly being in a very dark place and it was complete and utter shit. So when I do sink into a depressive episode and that numbness returns, it scares me most of all [because I'm afraid that it won't go away again]. So I understand how and why that feeling of numbness scares you. And this piece is meant to connect with peoples feelings but don't ever apologize for suffering -- I think that it's most important to remember that everyone has suffered/will suffer/is suffering and that relating to each other's suffering is completely human. I don't like to compare levels of suffering, like person x is suffering more than person b because of R, T, and Q. People's personal suffering will always be weighed on perspective to the individual suffering. The worst day of someone's life might appear to be trivial in the eyes of someone else, but to the person suffering -- it is still the worst day of their life, and I don't think that should be brushed off. I think what I'm trying to say is, it's completely okay to relate to this even if you haven't gone through this exactly


Thanks so much for the swap and for your lovely review <3~



Name: abhorsen (Signed) · Date: 07 Jun 2018 04:40 AM · For: Dolor Lake

This review isn't going to be anywhere near as thorough or amazing as the ones you've left me recently, but I saw it in the queue and want to leave the review now before it slips my mind.


This was so, so good. You capture the dynamic of self-harm so well - the comfort, the seductiveness, the habit, and the way it plays into depression and malaise and self-loathing. It's something I've got a long history with (which I think you probably knew?), and this spoke to me in some really deep ways. You did an amazing job, and I'm so glad this story won a MFWHATA. <3 Congratulations!

Author's Response:

Hey, Branwen! This review is the perfect amount of amazing, thank you <3.


I wanted to try to capture something that I haven't quite tried to capture before and I'm glad it struck a chord with you. While we've never spoken directly about it, it's something I've gathered from your poetry--it's difficult to write about something so intensely, so profoundly without having some firsthand experience with it. I also think it might be difficult to understand what is being written without that experience. So much great writing has come from places of deep suffering. 


Thanks so much again for stopping by to leave some love! <3



Name: M C Crocker (Signed) · Date: 09 Apr 2018 09:56 AM · For: Dolor Lake
Rumple, this was exceptionally poignant, the way you describe depression as a monster, the imagery of falling into the dark depths. You have crafted a very real and relatable situation, one I know I've been in.

The monster does whisper sweet lies and it is hard to break free. I can also relate to the painted face the one the masses expects to see as you weave through the mists of life.

It also is striking how others are near but so wrapped up in their revels to not hear the quiet calls which leads you eventually back to that monster in the lake.

I'm floored really dearest and this - this has a lot of power. Thank you for writing this. I feel the world needs more works like this - so thank you for sharing - I am certain writing and then subsequently sharing this was not easy - I know it wasn't for me when I wrote about my monster.

Again thank you for this *hugs*

Author's Response:



<3 Hi! O/ I'm terrible at responding to reviews sometimes -- I get all sorts of backed up. 


You make me blush. :/ This was really cathartic to write -- I think it started from wanting to express that feeling of 'drowning' that comes with a wave of depression (the sinking, the hopelessness, the helplessness, the tired you feel from fighting and you think it's easier to give in but something won't let you give in). Then the rest fell into place, for the most part. I just wanted to try to capture the depressive episodes that come after the manic ones -- where everything is such a 360 to what I feel even from one day to the coming down off of such a big high so suddenly that the world stops working the right way for a little bit.


Thanks so much for stopping by to leave this some love! <333

Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 05 Apr 2018 11:56 PM · For: Dolor Lake

Hello again, Rumpel! Here for a third Slytherin Hot Seat Review!


Wow! This is so short and yet so amazing! How did you even come up with the idea for this story? It's so dark, and yet, in a way, relatable. I can definitely relate to the parts where the world continuously becomes more grey as you have to pretend you feel emotions and fake a laugh to keep everyone else happy. And making decisions about things you don't care about, that's the worst! And again, your imagery is always on point. It's so short, and yet so poignant at the same time. You manage to convey so many emotions in a relatable fashion; I am in awe. 


Hope to read more of your stories soon!






Author's Response:

Three hot seat reviews?! How did I get so lucky?


Well, I've dealt with a mild sort of MDD (bipolar disorder) for all of my adult life and a large portion of my teenage life so it was something that was more of a cathartic piece for me. Most generally, I cycle through a manic period before dropping really low into a depression. I have a difficult time explaining it -- it's like, I can only describe it as being hyper and can't sleep (and when I do sleep, it's extremely interrupted) for sometimes weeks at a time and this period is typically followed by a depressive period before the cycle begins again. There are rare in-between periods, but they don't come often.


When I was writing this, I wanted to try to explain the depressive episodes (as I was in the midst of one) and this is sort of what I envisioned it was like in a personified sense. They can be difficult to explain, but I tried to pinpoint some of the emotions. I'm glad that you like my imagery <33 that makes me happy :D . 


Thanks so much for your wonderful review, dear!



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