[Here for our swap!]
I was scrolling through your AP, and originally I’d intended to head straight for the tanka piece you wrote for Kenny’s challenge, but then I saw this, and I couldn’t not read it. Not only because it won a MFWHATA (that award name will never cease to make me smile <3), nor because it was nominated, but because you seem to have a gift for dark pieces, and the subject matter definitely interested me. I have to get better about reading about different types of diversity, as well. <3
The extended metaphor in this is just beautifully written. Each word you chose had a clear, distinct purpose in expanding this metaphor and defining it to its fullest, and I love that. The descriptions aren’t here just for imagery’s sake; they have a meaning to it, and I think you wrote this whole piece so, so well. I especially loved the way you started off describing the monster by what it was not – it didn’t have “greying flesh, yellowing fangs, or beady, soulless eyes,” it didn’t “breathe fire or spew venomous liquids” – and this way of describing it manages to bring our mind to the worst…all while saying that the monster is calm, lurking.
And I just realized this, but the second person is perfect. There is no other point of view that would suit this beautiful piece half as well, because it feels like the monster is talking to you, the reader, and I got chills reading this. (Whenever I read something that scares me on a fundamental level and really makes me think about numbness and lack of feeling, I start to lose feeling in my hands and it’s hard to type/write with it. I don’t know why, but it just does. And it’s happening here, which means you did a really beautiful, amazing job, to me.)
This idea of losing passion is such a scary one. Of everything that I can feel, I hate feeling numb the most, and these days I feel like I’ve been feeling that so much. There are some days I just want to avoid the Internet forever, because I think it’s sometimes feeding this cycle of apathy I have, but things that I love (or used to love? I still love it though I think), like practicing on the piano, talking with my friends, etc. have become exponentially more difficult to care about. [Sorry about the personal bit; this piece made me think about myself a lot. I definitely don’t claim to halfway understand personally what the character in your fic is feeling, but I still thought about it a little.]
I like how the ending isn’t comforting. It’s implied to be an endless cycle that only drags you in further, and I like how you’ve reflected that idea in the way you wrote this.
Beautiful, beautiful job, Rumpels. <3
This review isn't going to be anywhere near as thorough or amazing as the ones you've left me recently, but I saw it in the queue and want to leave the review now before it slips my mind.
This was so, so good. You capture the dynamic of self-harm so well - the comfort, the seductiveness, the habit, and the way it plays into depression and malaise and self-loathing. It's something I've got a long history with (which I think you probably knew?), and this spoke to me in some really deep ways. You did an amazing job, and I'm so glad this story won a MFWHATA. <3 Congratulations!
Rumple, this was exceptionally poignant, the way you describe depression as a monster, the imagery of falling into the dark depths. You have crafted a very real and relatable situation, one I know I've been in.
The monster does whisper sweet lies and it is hard to break free. I can also relate to the painted face the one the masses expects to see as you weave through the mists of life.
It also is striking how others are near but so wrapped up in their revels to not hear the quiet calls which leads you eventually back to that monster in the lake.
I'm floored really dearest and this - this has a lot of power. Thank you for writing this. I feel the world needs more works like this - so thank you for sharing - I am certain writing and then subsequently sharing this was not easy - I know it wasn't for me when I wrote about my monster.
Again thank you for this *hugs*
<3 Hi! O/ I'm terrible at responding to reviews sometimes -- I get all sorts of backed up.
You make me blush. :/ This was really cathartic to write -- I think it started from wanting to express that feeling of 'drowning' that comes with a wave of depression (the sinking, the hopelessness, the helplessness, the tired you feel from fighting and you think it's easier to give in but something won't let you give in). Then the rest fell into place, for the most part. I just wanted to try to capture the depressive episodes that come after the manic ones -- where everything is such a 360 to what I feel even from one day to the next...like coming down off of such a big high so suddenly that the world stops working the right way for a little bit.
Thanks so much for stopping by to leave this some love! <333
Hello again, Rumpel! Here for a third Slytherin Hot Seat Review!
Wow! This is so short and yet so amazing! How did you even come up with the idea for this story? It's so dark, and yet, in a way, relatable. I can definitely relate to the parts where the world continuously becomes more grey as you have to pretend you feel emotions and fake a laugh to keep everyone else happy. And making decisions about things you don't care about, that's the worst! And again, your imagery is always on point. It's so short, and yet so poignant at the same time. You manage to convey so many emotions in a relatable fashion; I am in awe.
Hope to read more of your stories soon!
Three hot seat reviews?! How did I get so lucky?
Well, I've dealt with a mild sort of MDD (bipolar disorder) for all of my adult life and a large portion of my teenage life so it was something that was more of a cathartic piece for me. Most generally, I cycle through a manic period before dropping really low into a depression. I have a difficult time explaining it -- it's like, I can only describe it as being hyper and can't sleep (and when I do sleep, it's extremely interrupted) for sometimes weeks at a time and this period is typically followed by a depressive period before the cycle begins again. There are rare in-between periods, but they don't come often.
When I was writing this, I wanted to try to explain the depressive episodes (as I was in the midst of one) and this is sort of what I envisioned it was like in a personified sense. They can be difficult to explain, but I tried to pinpoint some of the emotions. I'm glad that you like my imagery <33 that makes me happy :D .
Thanks so much for your wonderful review, dear!