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Reviews For Miracle

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 28 Jul 2018 12:43 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { a giddy bubble in her chest }

Hello, dear! Here with your requested review! :)

Okay, before I start with my proper review, stupid question... the vine you referenced? What does it mean? Because I googled vine and it tells me that it is the plant of grapes? :/

And, well, I'm afraid I have 0 idea about all the music groups you mentioned... I'm not very good at this... anyway... :P

Quidditch is a bit of a crazy sport (and insanely dangerous, too... but like one of my uni friends said... wizards are programmed for extinction... or something like that, I don't recall the precise quote, but it was fitting)

I also find it hilarious how Scorpius declared that half of Gryffindors are related to each other... the Wotters are a huge bunch, aren't they? :P And of course they are all (well, mostly) Quidditch fanatics... :P

I know I said already, but... I love Al in Hufflepuff soooo much! Also, he's basically me if he spends most of his time sleeping... I relate. :P

And wow, Lily is... I'm not sure what the right term is, actually... but she's something, for sure. I felt a bit bad for Marissa during their confrontation, but again I can see where Lily was coming from and I think that Marissa wouldn't have felt so attacked if a part of her didn't think Lily was right... but as I already said in the previous chapter, what happened is not Marissa's fault...

Totally random thought, but... I'm curious about that Arithmancy problem. :P Differential calculus has never been my forte, I'm more of an Algebra person, still I'm super curious about it... :P

Poor Marissa, feeling homesick and missing her friends. I guess that's only natural (even if I would give anything to be able to study at Hogwarts). It was nice that she got Leiko's letter and that it made her feel better. :)

Nice chapter. :)

Chiara



Author's Response:

Okay, so the Vine is from Jay Versace! (I watch too many Vines.) 

 

It's totally cool if you don't recognize the K-pop groups! (You'll recognize them if you ever come by them, at least, and you can say it's because of my story.)

 

Quidditch is so so wild. I would not play even it meant my life (which it practically does). Wizards are literally the manifestation of the quote "Here for a good life not a long life."

 

The Weasley's are a huge bunch, yes! A few of them might be in other houses, but most of them are pretty basic gryffindors (so, very boring). 

 

Al in Hufflepuff is the best thing! I love writing him as such, and since Hufflepuff is a bit of an undefined house, there's a lot I can do with him! 

 

You might be onto something there about Marissa and Lily! I totally understand Lily's side of the story, and I think Marissa still might feel a little bit guilty despite what she's been telling herself. I totally think Marissa's underlying feeling of guiltiness and Lily's attitude made her feel more attacked than she should have felt. 

 

Ah, gosh. I couldn't tell you what the Arithmancy problem is, don't ask me! I have a few ideas as to what the subject might teach and harbor (definitely math) but I have no idea of the specifics!

 

Yup yup. Marissa's feeling a little bit homesick, yeah. If I went to Hogwarts, I may be excited, but I still feel like I would miss my old life, so to say. 

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 25 Jul 2018 04:46 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { it starts at the beginning }

Okay, so I realized yesterday that you'd left me two reviews [and that I also misread what you'd said on the Forums]. Sorry about that. I'm an actual hot mess. 

 

So, after reading the summary and the end of the first line I'm so SUPER curious about where you're going to take this. This is definitely one of the most unique plotlines that I've come across. I assume that Marissa will become imbued with some sort of magical powers, though that's only an assumption. 

 

That's the sweetest way I can think of to make childhood friends -- not to mention one of the most fun. You've done a great job with setting things up by this point, where I'm very aware that something has gone horribly, terribly wrong though I don't know what while I'm being lead through the early events of her day. I loved the way you weaved in this bit about how she met her friends and that they rarely were able to see each other outside of school.

 

And how horrifying it must have been for Marissa, who was supposed to have a good day, to be hit by a car even after she'd done exactly what she was supposed to before crossing the street. I also know virtually nothing about blood transfusions, so I'm not sure if the adrenaline and well-being she felt post-op was from the blood transfusion or because the blood she received was from a magical donor. I'm tempted to believe that latter, which is a pretty cool side-effect that you've woven in. And the donor, Dean -- is that Dean Thomas? A nice nod to canon characters, if so.

 

Shrieking and ducking would probably be my instinct if a bird flew into my room, too. Ha! I like the way her magical abilities begin to show themselves, like with most magical children (though she's not exactly a child by this point) their magic is triggered by strong emotions. I also think it's neat that Cho Chang became Headmistress of Hogwarts. I wonder what it's going to be like attending Hogwarts as an eighteen-year-old. 

 

I really appreciated that you showed a level of skepticism towards the entire idea of being a witch and the magical school. I'd think for most Muggle-born children & Muggle parents, something like this would probably met with a great deal of hesitance. 

 

This is very exciting -- I'm curious to see where you'll be taking this.

 

Again, sorry about the misunderstanding! :/ 

 

-Rumpels



Author's Response:

Nah, man you're totally fine! 

 

The summary is supposed to be like a glimpse at what might happen, but the story currently is really misleading lmao. (Chapter six is a wild one though.)

 

It was fun thinking of ways of how Marissa might meet her friends--I remember that I met my best friend while I was splashing around in the community pool!

 

I would hate to be in Marissa's situation, really and truly. I feel horrible for putting her through that in the first chapter, but it's pretty pivotal moment in her life. I'm not certain if you feel energized after getting a blood transfusion, actually. I just really wanted to put across that the blood she received was, well, different, in a way. And yes, that was Dean Thomas! I love him a lot! 

 

I love birds, but I'm deathly afraid if they come anywhere near me. I'm afraid that they might hurt me, or that I might hurt them! 

 

You're cool about the misunderstanding, and I hope you keep reading! (Tell me your thoughts if you want?)

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 17 Jul 2018 09:26 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { brave new world }

Hi again! More reviews (but likely my last for the night). I love Marissa's friends! They've got such a fun dynamic and that kind of fun friendship where you can tell that they've been friends for so long. It was neat that Chie is Cho's niece! I wonder if that will come into play later or if it's just a neat little coincidence. 

 

Marissa's adventures in Diagon Alley were fun! I loved seeing her explore a new place! It was also interesting to see a first time perspective from someone a little older, who's got a different look on things than a baby-faced and fresh-eyed eleven year old! 

 

Exciting little meeting with Al at the end. I'm interested about what was going on between him and Lily, but he seemed so sweet with Marissa. So, what's going on there Albus, hmmmm? I'm excited to see what happens there! 

 

This was another wonderful chapter and I liked the bigger introduction to the wizarding world. I'm excited to see Marissa start Hogwarts after everything here and meet more witches and wizards her own age (also, with Al, who I'm already feeling some vibes with)!



Author's Response:

I'm super glad you liked her friends! I mean, I want to say that it plays a part in the story? I think once or twice Chie might use her relation to Cho to pull a few strings, but i think the most important part is that she is Cho's niece, which gives her some notoriety in the wizarding world despite her lack of inclusion in it. 

 

Albus! I love writing him! He is My Son. I take care of him like one, lmfao. 

 

If you're feeling some vibes with Al.... I won't stop you. :)

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 17 Jul 2018 08:39 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { it starts at the beginning }

Hi! More swaps!

 

First, this is such an interesting premise! I'm so intrigued by it and think it's such a unique concept. I can't wait to read more about it! It was really interesting how after she got the blood transfusion she suddenly felt like she had more energy thrumming through her, and that it carried over for years after that! 

 

I was curious about the Standard Book of Spells Grade 5 but then Cho came to talk to her more about students with abilities that are late to develop! I'm still really curious actually, but I'm excited to see how Marissa fits in Hogwarts, especially as she'll be so behind peers her age! That'll definitely be another intersting twist!

 

This was such a great start to a really different and awesome idea! I'm very excited to see where you take this!



Author's Response:

I'm glad you like the first chapter! It's a bit outdated in terms of my writing :')

 

I'm interested to see in what you think about the next few chapters, so i hope you'll keep leaving your thoughts. 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 10 Jul 2018 07:43 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { a giddy bubble in her chest }

Hello! Here from the forums with your requested review! 

 

Something that strikes me about Marisas is how different her experience is to other muggleborns. To have a world of magic opened up to them is usually an exciting and wonderful time, but Marissa questions everything. But, I suppose everyone is different, and maybe it's true that not everyone would be impressed by the wizarding world. It puts another unique twist into your story. I do appreciate that Marissa was able to put in her own experiences with calculus into her arithmancy homework. She's a clever and resourceful character, and I like that.

 

The chapter ends on such a nice note, because friends really are so important and I'm glad for Marissa that she's found friends in Scorpius and Albus. It was cool to see her first introduction to Quidditch, too! And Scorpius' feelings about it were so funny :D 



Author's Response:

hi, hello!! it's nice to see you :^)

 

i think that's just the way marissa's brain is wired. she's learned multiple times to question everything, and so she does. she finds there's a lot to be questioning. her being described as clever and resourceful makes me happy because it at least means she fits into the the slytherin house a little bit. i was afraid her true slytherin side won't be coming up for quite a bit, and i couldn't have that. 

 

friends are important! but making friends is important too. it's just that in this case, both sets of friends happen to keep her grounded in both of the world she now has to balance. 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing!! xx



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 09 Jul 2018 11:27 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { brave new world }

Hi again! 

 

Okay, I know Marissa is nervous, but I'm also nervous for her. Can you imagine leaving everything you know for some magical world that's like straight from a fairytale at her age? I feel like when you're 11 it'd be way easier to just accept it and start fresh, but as a teenager? Terrifying. 

 

At some point the magical world really needs to solve their technology issues. 

 

AH! CHIE! YES GIRL! I feel so relieved for Marissa too because now she has someone from home that she can be open to. My babies. I love them. 

 

Have I mentioned how much I love the way you write dialogue? I love the way you write dialogue. This line in particular had me laughing so hard (actual laughing not just like that exhale laughter that people do on the internet when they say lol): “I literally just told you not to interrupt me, why would you do that after I literally—”  

 

Can I just say that I love your Cho Chang characterization so much. I'd read a Cho spin off and die happily. Just saying. 

 

YES AL IS SO CUTE AND AWKWARD I'M SO HAPPY.



Author's Response:

hello!!! 

 

that's exactly Marissa's problem. except she doesn't seem to be realizing that yet. it'll hit her in the face soon enough so everything's good. 

 

oh, gosh. there are so many problems with the wizarding world. none of which will be solved. 

 

chie was a bit of a wildcard! at first i made her a squib for the ~drama~ but she's actually pretty critical to the plot now!! and i'm glad because i really like her character. 

 

i love writing the dialogue for these girls! they're just so funny awkard and hilarous and they swear A LOT and they just write themselves you know????? 

 

maybe i need to write a cho chang spin off now. i want to do that. but what about? who knows. 

 

AL IS VERY CUTE AND AWKWARD I LOVE HIM

 

thanks for reading and reviewing!! xx

 

 



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 09 Jul 2018 11:01 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { it starts at the beginning }

WHOA. okay, you had me 100% at the story summary because I've never ever considered what would happen if a wizard gave muggles their blood and now my brain is in overdrive. Also, I love Albus/OC? How did I not know about this before now!? 

 

Marissa and her friends sound so lovely and I'm so here for some good friendship stories along with everything else. 

 

You write action very well, by the way. It was suspenseful and fast enough to make me lean forward in my seat. Also I loved the way that her magical awakening was so akin to what we see with a lot of muggleborns where they aren't quite ready to face the magic and just keep pretending it's not happening. That's such a normal human reaction. 

 

Also I'm very here for Cho Chang as headmistress. I feel like people were so harsh on Cho (who reacted very reasonably given all the things that had happened) and I really like Cho positivity. She was smart, skilled, and empathetic and would be a good headmistress! 

 

And yesss! Hermione is out there authoring textbooks! Okay, I'm camping out in your AP from now on. 

 

I laughed when her mom was like okay this all seems legit and Marissa had to be the one to be like hold on, provide a little proof please. She's the actual best. Oh now I'm trying to decide where she belongs house-wise. I could definitely see her belonging in all of them, but I'm going to bet on being a claw (not at all because it's the best house...)

 

This was a great first chapter and such an interesting story! I love your writing style! 



Author's Response:

:^DDDDD paula!!! ahh, you're so nice!! (i love albus/oc too, by the way!!) thank you so much for your reviews!!!! 

 

if you want good friendship stories, this is the place to be!! marissa will go through a lot but you know. friends!! 

 

i write action well?????? that's news to me. but it's good to know, as there's a bit of action in this story!

 

Cho chang positivity is everything we need in life. i do feel she was criticized very harshly and i'm like no. that bs has no place here. i'm hyped you like her as headmistress!! that's a commonality among my fics if they take place at hogwarts. 

 

HERMIONE WOULD DEFINITELY AUTHOR THE TEXT BOOKS. you know she would!! 

 

as for Marissa's house... you'll see if you read on. ;) 

 

"I love your writing style!" asdkljfalksdjfakjsfd thank you so much :')

 

thank you so much for reading and reviewing!! xx 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 08 Jul 2018 01:55 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { a giddy bubble in her chest }

Hey, there! Here with your requested review! :)

 

This chapter was really interesting! I was little a thrown off at first because I didn’t remember this many swears in the previous chapters (but it’s been a while since I read the last chapter so maybe it’s just my faulty memory).

 

I really wish that the school could take better care of Marissa. She seems to really be struggling with the material, especially Arithmancy (though the idea that Muggle math might factor into wizarding math is interesting, but how would that work?) so I wish she could have started at a much lower level or something. Or gotten homeschooled somehow, because at this point Hogwarts just seems to be rather cruel to her, poor girl.

 

At least she got to see a Quidditch game for the first time! Even if she didn’t seem to care about it that much. Like, I understand that she didn’t know what was going on, but it was also her first time seeing the game, so I was expecting a little more interest and intrigue from her. I was also a little bit confused about the timeline of this – just based on previous events (and my memory could totally be throwing me off here), it seems like she’s been at Hogwarts long enough to learn about Quidditch and things like that. Once again, I could totally be wrong, and if I am, just ignore me haha.

 

I just wanted to really quickly mention that I hope Dom’s okay. And it makes sense that Lily would be yelling at Marissa, because if I were in her position I would be frustrated and upset and angry at Marissa, too, even if it might not be her fault entirely.

 

Hahaha I laughed at the k-pop mentions. Love how you managed to plug your favorite artists hehe. Not going to lie, none of the ones you mentioned are my favorites, though the girls in BP are adorable. I used to like BTS, but then I lost interest haha.

 

Anyway this was a fun chapter! <3

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

ahaha,,,, they do swear a lot, i know,,, please excuse that. maybe i need to tone it down a bit, but when I was first writing it i didn't see anything wrong because this is just how me and my friends speak!!

 

i wish they would take care of her better too! but alas, the text says they won't, so i'm going to exploit that! ;)

 

nope it's not your memory screwing up. the timeline is on purpose. and i thought it would be okay to do a friendly quidditch game now because i always thought practices would be more private (so the other houses don't steal strategies or something) and marissa hasn't learned about quidditch until now, or has seen a game up until now because she was working on understanding her work! like i said, she has severe tunnel vision (so attention to anything else other than the task at hand is Not There) !! Even if marissa did pay attention, i don't think she would have learned anything anyways,,,,

 

i'm so glad you understood lily's side of things, as the that argument was biased towards marissa! 

 

tbh when i like something, i don't get tired of it. like i might forget it for a while, but then i'll be like, "hey remember that one band????" and then obsess over them all over again. I have a spotify playlist dedicated to K-pop and J-pop specifically, but it's not grown that much. 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing!! xx



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 05 Jul 2018 05:26 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { a giddy bubble in her chest }

Hey! I’m so glad you got out of your block :) I know how frustrating it can be, and this is a great chapter! 

 

I was a bit thrown at first that Dom wasn’t mentioned again right away—but I really liked that there was some attempt at normalcy. I think that’s also a really realistic response to a tragedy like that, to try and pretend like everything’s okay—but I can already see shifts in the characters. For one, Al seems a bit more edgy, sorta. 

 

I really liked Marisa’s conversation with Al and ship them so much it hurts :’) Just thought I’d let you know that if they don’t get together, I’ll be quite heartbroken, thanks :P 

 

My favorite part of the chapter was Leiko’s letter! She’s hilarious and it was a nice bit of lightness after how heavy the previous chapter was. [Also I’m gonna be a CS major too so her struggles are so relatable hahaha]. I’m very interested in Chie’s letter, especially because of her similar experiences as Dom. I’m wondering if Marisa has mentioned what happened with Dom? But I could also see it being really awkward to bring that up, especially since Leiko and Chie don’t know Dom.

 

Great job! I can’t wait to read the next chapter :)



Author's Response:

i'm very glad you like it! 

 

er, yeah, i did try to keep it light this time around. i figured you don't need another heavy chapter after the last. :P the conversation was very intentional, but i'm not really sure if anyone will get the point of it, haha! al does seem a bit more edgy doesn't he? 

 

i ship them too! but you'll have to wait about them, while i know what happens to them. :) *cue evil author laughter*

 

i too know chie's struggle, as they are my own. why does learning code have to be so hard?

 

as for the latter part: hm. it comes up. 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! xx

 

 



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 05 Jul 2018 05:15 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { not something anyone could control }

Hi there! Here for your requested reviews :) 

 

First, I have to commend you on handling a very sensitive topic really well. Marisa’s reactions to seeing Dom were really realistic—I like that she just sort of randomly went “What?”, that processing exactly what happened was sort of delayed for her. 

 

I’m so sorry you’ve had experience with panic attacks—it makes sense that your descriptions in that scene were quite realistic, especially the description of it being like you’re watching a horrific train wreck, unable to do that. What I loved most though, was Marisa’s sense of guilt afterwards for panicking. I sympathize so much for Marisa; I feel like that’s something a lot of people feel, like “why the hell did I react in such an extreme way?” This is just a mark that Marisa is an incredibly empathetic character which makes her all the more likable. I liked that she thought of Chie; Marisa really is so loyal and loving with her friends. 

 

Al’s reaction was interesting. I sort of feel like it’s all going to build up for him—and then eventually we’ll see him explode, which I also feel like is a very Harry-like way of dealing with trauma. Your note that things only go downhill from here makes me think that it’s going to be pretty crazy haha—but I’m really excited! I can tell this has been a turning point in the story, taking this fic to a more darker, complex level. Can’t wait to see what happens next! 

 

Well done! <3 



Author's Response:

:^DDDD

 

you always understand my characters so well omg!

 

i'm super glad you felt i handled the sensitive topics well, as they were indeed a point of difficulty for me (i spend a really long time researching drug addictions, and the panic attacks were just hard to write b/c there's so many emotions to translate into words!). and then, idk why, but that feeling of guilt for overreacting is something i myself have trouble with, i tend to overthink things a lot, and work myself into a panic attack, all over the smallest thing. so it only felt natural to write that. 

 

as for Al,,,, haha. i did indeed write a very specific reaction from him, yes. 

 

this chapter is a pretty big marker in the story, and it's very much a turning point. i'm excited to write the rest!

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 05 Jun 2018 01:31 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { the calm before the storm }

Hi there! Here with your requested review, even though you requested it literally months ago (so terribly sorry for the delay). This as a delightful chapter! I found myself relating to Marisa even more. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but Marisa is extremely down-to-earth and thus very relatable. I loved her reaction to the magical portraits (I think I’d react that way if I were in her situation too). I too can not stand parties. 

 

I really enjoyed the depiction of the party too. Even though it was a party of wizards and witches, it was so extremely normal. I kind of like that as a running theme throughout this novel, the merging of the Muggle and the Wizarding worlds and the revelation that they aren’t so different after all. I’m very concerned about Dominique—was she actually smoking? She’s a bit of a wild child, isn’t she? I hope that Marisa’s able to make sure that she remains safe. 

 

My favorite part of the chapter, easily, was Marisa and Albus. I’m a huge fan of books that show two characters bonding over common ground; especially in romance novels, I feel like this is perhaps passed over a bit, to jump straight to a romantic development. But I always value a slow transition from friends to lovers, so this was pretty special. Also, Al is just the most precious child ever. First off, he’s totally wrong—everyone loves Hufflepuffs (or as I like to call them, Hugglepuffs!). Secondly, I love his taste in shows? NINE NINE, AL! :D 

 

All in all, this was a lovely chapter. I think I’m still a bit confused about the social dynamic being completely unaffected by the fact that Marisa is eighteen—but I might simply be misremembering.

 

Wonderfully done, though! <3 



Author's Response:

i'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter, and i'm so glad that you enjoy marissa! i relate to her very much, so it makes me very happy. :^)

 

the party was a bit hard to write, mainly b/c i've never been to one, so it's a bit hard to think of myself in that situation. i'm very much a homebody, but i persevered!! it's reassuring that you thought it was normal. Dominique plays a big part in the next chapter! 

 

i'm so glad you liked marissa and albus!! i'm not really sure of how to write romances; all i knew is that i hated when people jumped straight to the romance. it just doesn't seem organic. 

 

haha, i think most people think she's a seventh year! but it might be a little confusing when she's in fifth year classes. 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing!! xx



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 24 May 2018 09:04 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { it starts at the beginning }

Hey, so this is such a cool premise.  I love it when authors do something ‘new’ and ‘unexpected’ with story ideas.  I think this one qualifies greatly. Awesome!


I loved hearing about Marissa’s childhood and seeing how she was a little bit alone at first, and had these great friends that she’d grown close to and all.  I think all of that is important to understanding her character. The thing that frustrated me was that I was waiting for the story to begin, and at some point, it morphed from telling about Marissa’s childhood to having her get hit by a car.  I think the way you went into the accident and all the feelings and sensations was fabulous. You brought me right into the thick of everything, and I felt like I was going through the things that Marissa was going through. Great job there!


Then things get rolling in earnest.  I really enjoyed hearing about how Marissa’s magic manifested, and all the things that happened to let her know that something WAS different about her, even if she didn’t understand it.  This was a really cool part of the narrative that I was really into. All of this paid off, because it gave her a reason to accept the letter, and I was really happy that things came together for her.  I did squint at the “why did the letter not come until she was eighteen” thing, but then there’s ‘story’, so I suspended my canon knowledge for the sake of it. I’m sure it will be addressed some time.


The dynamic between Marissa and her sister was done nicely.  I almost wanted to see a bit more if it. Sometimes I felt like a few things were being rushed through, and sometimes I felt like a few things were being explored that didn’t really give me what I wanted from the story.  With that in mind, I think your pacing might still need a bit of tweaking. It’s hard to get that pacing thing correct. I struggle with it every single story, and it doesn’t seem to get any easier. That’s why I bug all of my fanfiction friends to beta my stuff to death.  Most of my betas are sick of me by now. Lol. I need new friends.


Anway…  The conversation between the Headmistress and the parents was a bit… I dunno… I expected more from that section of the story.  In any case, I’m glad that Marissa is off to Hogwarts, and I’m glad that Cho will be watching over her… and I’m looking forward to seeing what she gets up to and how she handles actually being able to control the magic that she accidentally stumbled into.


Thanks for the swap, and I definitely want to know what happens next!

 

Pix



Author's Response:

thanks! i look forward to exploring this concept! 

 

I totally understand what you mean about the story taking too long to begin, and then suddenly having everything thrown at you. 

 

I loved talking about how her magic manifested, and giving her reason to accept the letter. 

 

This chapter is not my best, but I'd like to believe it gets better. If not, you're very welcome to give some CC (if you want). 

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2018 05:05 AM · starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { not something anyone could control }

Hey, there! Here with your requested review!

 

Okay, but... poor Dominique... I admittedly have no experience with drug addiction, but this sounds terrifying. I suppose I'm happy she decided to seek help? Even if it looks like wizards aren't very good at this...

 

What was wrong with Marissa, btw? At the beginning of the chapter, I mean. Was she just tired from the party? Or was there something else going on? It was a bit weird... Actually, I was a bit confused by the progression of the chapter, like I was missing something... the whole way Marissa wasn't completely in herself since morning, the Professor's reaction when he sent her to the Hospital Wing, her wondering if it was her fault... why would she think that? Now that I'm thinking about it, she noticed something wrong with Dom at the party but decided not to press her, right? Is it because of it that she's feeling guilty? Also, poor Marissa, having been through something similar with one of her childhood friends... it must be so hard to deal with this...

 

I know this was mostly an angsty chapter, but I did like the lighter bits of Marissa and Albus interacting, they seem so cute. :) Are you setting them together? Because I don't think I would mind it. :P

 

I'm not sure if I'm making much sense with this review... probably not... this was an interesting chapter, anyway, and I'm curious to see how things will develop from here.

 

Lots of love,

 

Chiara



Author's Response:

i think i have a good idea of the progression of your thoughts. 

 

i really wanna answer your questions, but i feel like i would be giving too much away. Marissa was not herself this chapter, that much is true. And you're correct about why she thought it was her fault; it was because she noticed something wrong with Dominique and decided not to press her. She's feeling guilty. And yeah, she went through the same thing with Chie, and this will definitely be something that's expanded on. 

 

i'm glad you liked the lighter parts; i felt like i should've balanced it out a little bit more, but if felt like it would'nt have given dominique's situation as much attention as it needed.

 

i pretty sure that most of my readers think that i'm out of my mind for doing this to my characters; every decision was made deliberately. i think from this point it's mostly how well i can handle the story,,,

 

thanks for reading and reviewing!! xx



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2018 12:10 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { not something anyone could control }

This chapter deals with really heavy subject matter, so I really appreciated the warnings at the beginning and also the way you researched the topic. It’s always good for writers to research things they’re unfamiliar with!

 

At first, I was thinking that this chapter would be a fairly light-hearted one (despite the previous one being titled “the calm before the storm”) because Marissa’s interactions with Albus were really amusing and kind of cute. Like, they were talking about Chemistry (which is one of my least favorite subjects, not gonna lie) but they were still really cute?? And since Marissa didn’t really know much about Potions, I appreciated how Albus was helping her and giving her bits of general knowledge to help her out. What a sweetheart.

 

Though, I’m wondering if Marissa’s okay?? She’s been sounding rather out of sorts lately, and I’m almost positive it has something to do with the blood transfusion, but also I have a terrible habit of reading way too much into things, so I DON’T KNOW. At first I thought that someone must’ve drugged her from that one drink she had, but the more I thought about it, the more I was like, wizarding blood mixing in with Muggle blood through a blood transfusion probably isn’t the safest combination in the world like that. Like, genetically, it’s totally fine for a wizard and a Muggle to have babies, but I feel like through the transfusion process… I don’t know. I’m definitely thinking too much about this.

 

And onto the most important part of the passage. The part I found most interesting was the commentary on how the wizarding world handles these sorts of things. Though I have to say that I disagree with Marissa here – I mean, obviously, the wizarding world needs to get its act together, but she’s acting a little like the Muggle world is much better, which I honestly don’t believe so. Drug addiction still has a terrible, terrible stigma in our world, and rehabilitation centers are still far and few between, and so for Marissa to act so shocked about the wizarding world being like this… I don’t know, I’d imagine that she’d be used to it already. (Also, Chie went through this too? Poor girl. <3)

 

Anyway, I just really liked how you included this, since it’s an important topic.

 

Great chapter! <3

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

yeah, i figured that topics like these would need a heavy warning. i was actually very doubtful of whether this chapter would even get validated at all. 

 

the beginning was very light-hearted, but i tried to use the previous chapter's title as an allusion to this one. i'm glad you caught it! i'm also very glad that you think that al's a sweetheart; i was very unsure of how i was writing him at all. am i writing him to be too nice? too shy? too arrogant??? IDK. 

 

i love your theories so far! i think it's fair to say that some things will be attributable to the blood transfusion, but others will be due to marissa's own struggles. 

 

okay, but about the commentary. i feel like i should explain it a little bit. just because. anyways, i was trying to kind of put it out there that muggle world might still have these stigmas surrounding recovering drug addicts, but ultimately i'm trying to say that the wizarding world has stigmas that are worser than that of the muggle world's. does that make sense? either way, this is something that i'm going to be expanding on throughout the story, on drug addictions, and other things. hopefully i'll be able to pull it off. 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 28 Apr 2018 11:45 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { the calm before the storm }

THAT TITLE SOUNDS OMINOUS.

 

Okay, so they’re off heading to a party. I’m a little confused as to how Marissa managed to go this entire time without witnessing a single moving portrait, especially since Hogwarts’ walls are covered with them. But I’m still really confused about what the party is all about, because Aishwarya was really sudden about it.

 

That paired off with the title makes me a little nervous tbh.

 

The party didn’t appear to be too bad! I was actually really worried that something terrible would happen to her – for instance, that she would get drugged or something. I’m just very relieved that it didn’t happen, because she’s probably going to be living in sort of misery for the rest of her life if that happens. Thankfully, she just mostly spoke with Al and visited his common room (ALSO HE’S A PUFF YAY PUFFS).

 

All of their shows are excellent. I still must catch up on Brooklyn Nine-Nine hehe.

 

Sorry for the shorter review, I just wanted to type this up before I completely crashed. It’s almost one a.m. here. One more chapter to go!

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

I'M SO GLAD YOU NOTICED THE TITLE. YOU'LL SEE. most of the interactions in this chapter were very intentional, and i tried to drop as many hints as possible. but alas. 

 

the party was kind of sudden yes, i agree. i think it's because that chapter four wasn't necessarily my best chapter. 

 

i love your appreciation of puffs, and i love puffs; they need more representation.

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 28 Apr 2018 11:37 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { excitement is out, anxiety is in }

I wonder what Marissa’s dream was about? Who are the idols that she so desperately wants to meet in her dream? What was so great about the dream that she felt so sad upon waking? Does it have something to do with the blood transfusion? Am I focusing too much on the dream? Probably lmao.

 

Moving on.

 

I actually can’t believe that they’re just throwing her into the deep end of the pool without first making sure that she’s got the basics! WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO HER. If I were Marissa, I’d have been panicking and stressing out all over the place, because how am I to learn anything when I don’t even know the stuff from the very beginning? Though Marissa doesn’t seem to be struggling as much as I thought… Does this have something to do with the blood transfusion? Or am I once again overthinking this haha. But it does seem to be oddly simple for her, which is something that she notices, so we’ll see.

 

Also it’s really interesting that there’s an art class at Hogwarts now! I feel like art is a very important class for every student to have, and I’ll remain forever bitter that my school doesn’t’ have it haha. I also like the introduction of your OCs here. I’m looking forward to getting to meet them more, soon!

 

And it looks like Marissa getting mistreated for being a Slytherin is going to happen. I really wish that the dynamics had changed within the last twenty years, and that the kids wouldn’t feel the need to be so terrible.

 

There are a lot of things in this chapter that just made me wonder a lot about the blood transfusion, and I’m just so so curious omg.

 

ALSO PARTY? WHAT PARTY.

 

Lovely chapter!

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

tbh i just wrote that dream as a segue into chapter four. 

 

you're the first one to mention marissa being thrown into the deep end of the pool. she's a lot calmer than i would be (and even she's kind of panicking). 

 

your school doesn't have an art class? what??? that's treason. i'm so sorry, art is such a fun class. the party is the next chapter!! 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 28 Apr 2018 11:25 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { never stop smiling }

Oh, I love that Marissa’s in Slytherin! Writing about Slytherins is one of my favorite things to do (though I really should be spending more time on Puffs, because House pride and all that haha), so I was really excited to see that she’s in this wonderful, entertaining House. I’m curious to see what you have in store for her, and what about her makes her fit this House the best.

 

Though I do wish that Slytherin had grown a little in popularity since the war ended. After all, it’s been over twenty years at this point, and things can change a great deal in twenty years, especially in how children view the world. As long as the Slytherins aren’t housing a number of Pureblood fanatics anymore, then I hope that Marissa’s Slytherin status isn’t going to make life harder for her amongst the other students. (Personally I headcanon that least one member of the Weasley clan is in Slytherin, because, I mean, probability speaking, that probably happened haha. But I also really love reading interpretations where none of them are in Slytherin, to see how they interact with Slytherins and such.)

 

It was a lot of fun reading about the train and the carriages. A lot of people seem to be super curious about Marissa, which makes sense considering this has never happened before lol. I do feel like more people would also distrust her to some degree, because I’d imagine, to them, a sixteen-year-old joining Hogwarts for the first time is really, really strange. I feel like magical law enforcement officers would be coming to her and inspecting her or something haha.

 

Her interactions with the Weasleys were super interesting! I’m hoping to see more of these, especially Dominique! I always love reading about friendships, as well, so I know I was just rooting for Lily and Marissa to become friends last chapter, but I also want her to be friends with everyone. (Which, unfortunately, is unlikely to happen I think, because no one is that likable.)

 

This review is very out of order but I’d also like to quickly mention that I want her to be friends with the Zabinis as well as Scorpius Malfoy haha.

 

Wonderful chapter!

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

yay! i love that you like marissa in slytherin! i think her personality fits best in this house, considering i am attempting to write her as a very driven person!

 

i totally feel you about slytherin sentiments; i think that most of the wiarding world has moved on about them, but there are the select few that are still prejudiced. I truly don't think that slytherin would have accepted her as she was (indifferently, that is to say) if they hadn't grown out of their old sentiments. i get what you mean about having one or none of the weasleys in slytherin; their interactions would be interesting nonetheless. i do plan on doing the one (or two, we'll see) weasley in slytherin, and it'll be revealed chapter seven. 

 

i'm glad you had fun reading this chapter, and i'm very happy that you want marissa to be friends with everybody. but she'll have her friends and enemies. you'll see. 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 28 Apr 2018 12:06 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { brave new world }

Hi! I’ve transferred my review for the first chapter over here, and I’m really excited to begin with the second chapter.

 

Can I just say, I love that you included female Asian characters in this story! It’s always super important to me to see representation in stories, and I’m wondering if we’ll get to see Chie and Leiko after this, or if this is their first and last appearance in the story. Either way, I really loved both of them, and the distinction between their personalities that you gave them. It’s super interesting that Chie is related to Cho! I mean, what are the chances of that happening? Marissa is one lucky duck. And Chie is so smart for figuring everything out so fast haha.

 

Though, isn’t Marissa breaking a law by telling Leiko about the school? You should’ve known better than to let her say so, Chie! The Statute of Secrecy is like, the entire reason Hogwarts is hidden from Muggle eyes; Chie, you have disappointed me.

 

(Also I’m really glad that you made Marissa Latina. I just. I love diversity in fics.)

 

It was a lot of fun seeing Marissa witness Diagon Alley for the first time…except not as an eleven-year-old haha. Hannah Longbottom being the wand shop owner was such a unique take, and I loved that she got to meet George Weasley, as well as the beautiful Albus Potter. (I hope she and Lily can become good friends!! I love Lily.) Marissa’s commentary on the broomstick was hilarious, as well. My one criticism about this section is how long it is; as Harry Potter fans, we’ve read about multiple trips to Diagon Alley, and so some of the extra details aren’t always necessary. Focus more on her wonder, and less of a factual narration, if that makes sense!

 

And I loved Albus and Lily’s banter. Sibling relationships are always the best things to read about, and I’m glad we got a glimpse of it here! And of course, looking forward to see how Marissa and Albus’s relationship progresses.

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

hey, i'm really excited to see you here! 

 

thank you for the compliment on diversity! i always feel like hp fic is always so whitewashed and it always annoyed me. and it never made sense to me how authors justified it: "well diversity can't be there for its own sake, it's gotta play a role!" and i'm like??? there's plenty of diverse people in my life, and they just are, existing. they deserve that in stories as well. you will see chie and leiko after this, of course! although their "disappearance" in later chapters is intentional, and due to marissa. 

 

It's funny to me how you seem disappointed in Chie; i've never seen that reaction out of my readers before! chie is not completely a rule-abider, and that's seen in some aspects in this chapter (and later in the story as well). Leiko is much less developed, though i've attempted to give her a 'quick to set a fuse on' personality. 

 

Marissa as Latina is my favorite as well! I hope to really round out her character in later chapters! :^)

 

"beautiful Albus Potter" - tbh same, i love that guy so much! i appreciate you liking my headcanons, they're quite different from what other people think, and that made me hesitant to put in these details! I totally understand you about the long chapters, the details can get a little bit boring, but I hope my writing makes it a little bit fun at least. Chapter three is also a very cliche chapter :'). Don't worry though, my chapters after the first three or four will cut down to about 3,000-4,500 words. I'm surprised at your comment about wanting Marissa and Lily to become friends; it's one of the first. I have some things planned for the two (some good, some bad) but we'll see if they come to fruition. 

 

thank you so much for reading and reviewing! it was lovely seeing you here. xx 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 27 Apr 2018 07:25 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { it starts at the beginning }

*transferred from HPFF*

 

I'll only be reviewing the first chapter, since I don't have an HPFF account and I want to be able to keep track of my reviews easily. If you ever move your story over to ff.net, please let me know! I'd be happy to review the rest of the chapters for you (as well as transfer this review over).

 

Onto the chapter! (I adore that chapter image, by the way; you've really managed to get a good one.)

 

The premise of this story is super interesting! This question has never occurred to me, of what would happen if a wizard gave a Muggle a blood transfusion, and so I think it's a really great idea. I also found it really interesting how you decided to answer that question; at first, I was thinking that she might start feeling ill or strange, but then it turns out she fully develops magical abilities.

 

Her situation must be really strange, though. Headmistress Chang doesn't seem to be super surprised by it, which I thought was interesting. After all, how many cases of late magic can there be? I was thinking that everyone in the wizarding world would be freaking out a bit over this, considering how odd it is. But the fact that Cho Chang has an explanation for Marissa's lateness (even though it's not the reason why she developed magic late lol) is interesting, too.

 

Just one note about the story: When Marissa was getting the blood donated, I didn't recognize the wizard until you mentioned him by name, and even then I was a bit confused. Because Dean doesn't have caramel skin, right? He has dark skin.

 

About your concerns: you just switch tenses sometimes. You seem to want to stay in past tense, but every so often, you'll have a sentence that's written in present tense. It's not too common, so the story reads fairly fluently, but it does happen. So just check it over the next chance you get! :)

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

I'm glad you think the premise is interesting! I do to! :) <p>I like to think that Cho Chang is well put person overall, which is why she's pretty chill. On the inside, though, she's wondering.

 

Oh, yes, that was my mistake! I was thinking that Dean might be mixed race.

 

I'm working hard on the tenses! I edit this story so many times, so it's always in the queue...

 

Thank you for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 22 Apr 2018 09:19 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { it starts at the beginning }

*** Transferred from HPFF ***

 

Hello, dear! Here with your requested review! Sorry it took me so long... also, welcome to the HPFT community, it's so lovely to meet new people! :D

 

 So, first of all, let me tell you... I think the premise for this story is just so clever and interesting. What would happen if a Muggle received a transfusion from a wizard? The Muggle's physiology is bound to change somehow, and it's such an interesting idea to explore.

 

 Also, your description of the incident was so, so, so well done. I could totally picture everything that happened, and also the way you wrote Marissa in those moments of semi-consciousness, it was really well done and effective.

 

 I have a question, what are Marissa's origins? Because you mentioned her not being British, if I understood correctly, and she calls her parents Mama and Papa, and that's clearly not English (I think?) :P Spanish, perhaps? Or French? Anyway, I love it. I always love different nationalities in fanfic. :P

 

 So, Dean Thomas was the donator. I wonder why he did it, it was calling for trouble. Unless there was no one else available and he just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Maybe there's more to it? Or maybe I'm overthinking as usual? Sorry, don't mind me...

 

 And then she started showing signs of magic (no, I'm not surprised) and she received her Hogwarts' letter at eighteen... how is she even going to fit in? And Cho said that it's something that happens at times, even if it's very rare... exactly how often does it happen? :O (maybe there's still hope for my letter to arrive, then? Ahahah, just kidding :P Or maybe not...)

 

 I peeked quickly at other reviews, and I saw Bianca commented on the fact that Harry, Ron and Hermione wrote a DADA book together. It is a nice thing to include, I can totally see that. I also quite enjoy the idea of Cho being Headmistress. Are you bringing in other canon characters? Because it's fun to see what people's idea about their future is. :)

 

 CC time, hope you don't mind it... First, the flow. I felt it was a bit fragmented, like each sentence felt a bit disjointed from the others. Dunno if it was just my impression, and I wouldn't really know how you could fix it, but maybe try to re-read this and see if you can smother it a little? Also, I would have expected Marissa's parents to be more shocked at Cho's announcement. I'm not exactly sure how the family of a Muggleborn normally reacts to the news, but I felt they remained a bit too collected. Then, again, maybe you wanted them to, so again don't mind me too much.

 

 All in all this was an interesting first chapter, I'm very curious about how Marissa's adventure at Hogwarts will go. I can totally see her as a Ravenclaw, btw. ;)

 

 Thank you for requesting, it was nice to get to read this. :)

 

 Much love,

 Chiara



Author's Response:

That was exactly my first thought when I'd came up with the idea! I really wanted to explore that, and I have a lot of ideas in mind! 

 

Marissa's origins are going to be mentioned in the next chapter, but she is of Spanish origins. 

 

Yeah, I sort of intended Dean Thomas just to be there at the right place, right time. 

 

I imagine that magic matures with age, and that's why there are signs of magic, rather than the child just being a whiz at it. I'd like to believe that maybe that some magic matures later than others, and that's what Cho thought was the case with Marissa. 

 

I do intend on bringing in some canon characters, but they might not have huge roles in the story. 

 

I totally get you about the flow. Something about the chapter always seemed stilted to me, and over the months I have tried to fix it, but nothing seems to work. I'll just have to sit myself down for a few hours and figure it out, I guess. 

 

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 22 Apr 2018 09:18 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { brave new world }

*** Transferred from HPFF ***

 

Hi, me again! I figured I'd read one more chapter, just to see how Marissa was dealing with everything. And apparently she has Spanish origins (I should have known from her surname, but I didn't remember it... sorry...), but she doesn't really know? I thought she moved to England later? Sorry, I'm overthinking again... :P

 

 And her friends are chinese. And Chie is a squib and Cho's niece. That's so intriguing, I love it! :)

 

 And wait... Francesca Longbottom? As in the daughter of Neville? And why does she have an Italian name? Okay, I'll stop with the nationality game... :P

 

 I loved the conversation among Marissa, Chie and Leiko in the beginning, I think it was done really well. :) You got this sense of familiarity that only old friendships carry and I loved it. Also, I really liked Chie being a squib and the way Marissa got around to tell them the truth. :)

 

 I also really enjoyed seeing Marissa around Diagon Alley, so reminiscent of Harry's first trip there, it was really nice. :) I think the flow still felt a bit fractured in a couple of passages, but aside that I really enjoyed your descriptions and Marissa's stupor at all the wizarding shops, especially Flourish and Boots... I think I would never get out of there if I got in there... I mean, a wizarding library? I would go crazy...

 

 It was also really fun to meet a few of the Wotters' clan. :D

 

“You might, if you get tangled up with one of my crazy children, or nieces,” George quipped dryly, a wry smile in place. As a second thought, he added, “Or nephews. Them too.”

 

This was probably my favourite passage in absolute! Ahahah!

 

 And cute, little (or not so little... how old is he?) Albus. That was a fun encounter. Wonder why Lily was so annoyed at him... :P

 

 Great chapter! :)

 Chiara



Author's Response:

Ah, no, Marissa knows. She's a bit of a rambler with new people. 

 

And I really liked the name Francesca! Just a little detail that I like. And who knows? Maybe Hannah Abbot is Italian! I've seen her portrayed as South Asian, so anything's possible! 

 

I think that was my favorite part too; i really don't know how I nailed their friendship right on the head, but I did! I was super proud of myself. 

 

I think I wrote the Diagon Alley scene using inspiration from how I would react. I really had to channel my Harry Potter fangirl for that scene. 

 

Meeting the Wotters is always fun, tbh. 

 

Thank you, that line was a pure gold, and I added it in, after I had finished the chapter!

 

Ah, Albus is seventeen. And Lily is a Character(tm), which partially is reason to her annoyance. The other reason is yet to be revealed. I'm glad you noticed that little detail!

 

Thank you for reading! 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 22 Apr 2018 09:17 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { never stop smiling }

*** Transferred from HPFF ***

 

Hi, here with your request! :)

 Sorry it took me a bit long, it's been a bit of a crazy period...

 And so Marissa had her first trip on the Hogwarts' Express and is finally at the castle. And Slytherin? Really? I must confess that I didn't see it coming, but it's a nice change, there aren't many Slytherin MCs out there. (I think I would've still preferred if she was a Ravenclaw, but I'm curious how she'll fit in Slytherin... guess it will bring a lot of drama... :P)

 One thing that I quite enjoyed was how Fred replied to her asking if he was George's son using basically his father's words :P The Weasleys must be a bit overwhelming, I wonder how her future interactions with them will go, especially with Albus, they seem to be set for some kind of relationship (even if I'm not sure how that'll turn out yet)

 And I'm also quite curious about Scorpius and this Halley girl. Will they be friends? How will their relationship develop? So many questions...

 CC: I still think that the flow might need a bit more of work (maybe add some more description?) and maybe this chapter was a tiny bit cliched... But all in all this was a nice read, I'm quite enjoying Marissa's experience so far.

 Moving to the next chapter now.

 Bye,

 Chiara



Author's Response:

tbh i know i wrote her like a ravenclaw, and you probably won't understand why i sorted her into slytherin until a few chapters later

 

i wrote marissa like a ravenclaw bc i think this is how every muggleborn who received a letter would act, except a bit subdued 

 

really? i never realized that fred replied using his dad's words lol

 

and yeah, the first few chapters probably will be a little cliched, b/c ya know, fics like these aren't anything new 

 

i dunno about scorpius and halley. currently i don't have anything planned for them, so like we'll see. 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 22 Apr 2018 09:16 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { excitement is out, anxiety is in }

*** Transferred from HPFF ***

 

Hi, again! Back for your request! ;)

 An intense first day, for sure... poor Marissa, so much to learn, having to settle down in such a new and foreign environment... and apparently there is still some prejudice against Slytherin, isn't there? I'm wondering, are all the Wotters Gryffindor or are there exceptions? Hugo seemed friendly enough, at least.

 And we've met some new characters. Aishwarya and Roman seem nice, too, if a bit crazy. I could swear Aishwarya has a crush on Marissa, or am I reading too much into it? :P I can totally understand Marissa being a bit wary about the party, I'm not much of a party person, either, I'm always a bit shy around new people...

 And we got to meet old people, too. I must confess that I was surprised to see McGonagall still teaching Transfiguration, I assumed she had retired, seeing that Cho was the Headmistress. Also, I have to admit, I felt like McGonagall was a bit too cold when Marissa went to introduce herself? I know she's strict and everything, but I would have imagined she would be a bit nicer with a new girl who was just trying to introduce herself? Just my feeling, you know, not that it is that important.

 I'm wondering how Marissa's school days will go on now and how she will interact with all the canon and original characters you have introduced so far. Feel free to come back and re-request when you'll have new chapters up (if you please, of course).

 Love,

 Chiara

 PS I'm back with the nationality game... where is Aishwarya from? She has such an unusual name and I can't really locate it... :P



Author's Response:

an intense day for sure! no, not all of the wotters are gryfindor! there are a few scattered in every house. marissa hasn't really noticed any in her house b/c most of them have graduated, or she doesn't know them.

 

no, you're not reading too much into it! she definitely does have a crush! 

 

mcgonagall is a little cold, but you've gotta remember that ur reading thru marissa's eyes. mcgonagall gave up the headmistress position, but continued to teach! at least that's what i believe! 

 

marissa's school days... ah i've got a lot planned 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! i will ask again for sure! 

 

p.s. aishwarya is indian! 



Author's Response:

an intense day for sure! no, not all of the wotters are gryfindor! there are a few scattered in every house. marissa hasn't really noticed any in her house b/c most of them have graduated, or she doesn't know them.

 

no, you're not reading too much into it! she definitely does have a crush! 

 

mcgonagall is a little cold, but you've gotta remember that ur reading thru marissa's eyes. mcgonagall gave up the headmistress position, but continued to teach! at least that's what i believe! 

 

marissa's school days... ah i've got a lot planned 

 

thanks for reading and reviewing! i will ask again for sure! 

 

p.s. aishwarya is indian! 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 22 Apr 2018 09:13 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { the calm before the storm }

*** Transferred from HPFF ***

 

Hi! Finally here with your requested review! :)

 

 Okay, first of all, I love that Albus is a Hufflepuff (house pride and all that, you know...) I think it's the one house I don't imagine him in, but it's a nice change and I like it! :D

 

 Also, your description of the CR is great, and I found quite amusing their discussion about Muggle TV shows and all that stuff, eheheh! Also, I very much approve of Percy Jackson!

 

 Hugo is a sweetheart, too, even if he abandoned poor Marissa as soon as they got to the party. I like that he's all cheery and chatty, I can imagine that sort of personality for him.

 

 Poor Marissa, that feeling of being at a huge party and not really fitting in and staying in the background uncertain of what to do... it's so familiar for me... I can sympathize... Also, I don't think I would like to have my common room in the dungeons, I don't envy Slytherins... :P

 

 I will admit, the dialogues seemed a bit forced, especially the last part with Marissa and Al... but maybe it's just me... Otherwise, I think this was a nice chapter to read. :)

 

 Lots of love,

 Chiara



Author's Response:

i love al in hufflepuff too! and tbh that's my favorite description of the common room, it just sounds so homey! 

parties aren't my thing either, they really just make me uncomfortable. 

i didn't know what exactly felt off about the chapter, but i think you hit the nail right on the head. i think it's because it doesn't sound like stuff people would say. maybe i should edit it so that people know what they're doing while talking so it can be more natural? idk but it's a start. 

thanks for reading and reviewing! xx



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 19 Apr 2018 09:33 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { it starts at the beginning }

[transferred]

Hello! Iwas really excited when you requested a review since I’ve been eying this story for quite a while; when I first heard of the premise, it sounded honestly fascinating and so unique. I think this was a great expository chapter in setting up the scene. 

At the beginning, I was a little bit confused about when in Marisa’s life the story was starting so perhaps make that clearer? I eventually came to the understanding that she was probably around 8 or 9 years old. 

I really liked your description of how Marisa’s magic starts to manifest itself; I loved how you described her being able to see the tendrils of her energy and grasp at them—super creative image. I also think it was really smart that Marisa’s magic is most apparent when she’s angry/highly emotional; I think this fits with the canonical development of magic.’I think one of the coolest aspects of this fic is the exploration of how magic actually manifests, and you’re developing really interesting ideas about how magic works, which I really appreciate on a meta level! 

Marisa, as a character, is really compelling and likable. She seems so down-to-Earth and I find her pragmatism to be so endearing. I loved how she closed the window after the owl came thinking that she’d already let so many bugs in hahaha. Just a little line but it was quite amusing! I also thought her reactions to everything were really natural, very realistic and justified.

Finally, I liked seeing your ideas of what the Wizarding World is like now. I’m curious about why you chose Cho to be the Headmistress of Hogwarts, that’s a rather unique choice (especially because canonically, she marries a Muggle and cuts herself off from magic entirely). I also really liked the books written by the Golden Trio, I thought that was cute haha. 

Generally, this chapter was a really interesting start! I think that one constructive criticism I could offer is that the flow feels stilted at times, and I think that’s due to a slight lack of support in details. I think adding a few more details (just some more sensory information or information about her environment—it doesn’t need to be excessive) can really help with the flow. This is rather difficult to do, I know, and the best way to learn how to do that is to read a lot of fics that do it well. So if you’d like, I can point you in the direction of fics similar to yours: with a super interesting premise and a very action-packed pace, but a good mixing of supporting details to create nice flow. 

Other than that, great chapter! Looking forward to reading the next one :)



Author's Response:

HI, UM? you had been eyeing this story for a while?? that to me sounds so wild, that someone had wanted to read the fic without me asking them!!

 

yeah, i probably should specify her age, but at the time also thought that it wasn't really a necessary detail. complete fault of mine.

 

tbh, i think my favorite part of this story is the meta part of it! i really enjoyed exploring why magic manifests and how it could manifest and how the development of magic could be stunted!

 

I'm really glad you like Marissa; she's a character near and dear to me, similar to me in the ways that matter, but also very different in how i expect she'll handle certain situations.

 

to be honest, i just didn't like canon Cho. maybe she did marry a muggle man, but what if Cho stayed and pursued a career in the wizarding world? I think there're a lot of possibilities, but this is the one I like the most. she's just a fun character to play with, even if she's just a minor one.

 

thank you for the cc; i think I might need to give this first chapter thorough looking over, and i think your advice is really helpful.

 

thanks so much for reading and reviewing!



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