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Reviews For Miracle

Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 10 Apr 2018 11:34 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { the calm before the storm }

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Hello! I'm back again with your requested review!

I've barely started the chapter and I have to pull this out: She understood that Slytherin had a reputation to upkeep, one that had to be cold and unforgiving, but in all honesty, that was already fulfilled by the students that had resided in this house. That is SO funny, and totally true, too! :P Having to lodge in a dungeon is bound to make anyone cranky, tbh.

I like the little changes from canon you're making, like the Room of Requirement being portrait-password protected now. I can't believe the kids turned it into a club! Marissa's reactions to magic are so great, too. They're funny, and it's cool to see someone older having to adapt, instead of the usual eleven year olds.

Ugh, I don't like people to ditch others at parties. I would not survive in this version of Hogwarts. If I actually managed to get to a party in the first place :P 

Hufflepuff Al! As a Hufflepuff myself, I am very happy and satisfied with this representation, as well as seeing the common room in this chapter. I love your descriptions of it. AND Percy Jackson even makes an appearance! Wizards totally need to get in on modern literature.

I really enjoyed this chapter, it's nice to see that Marissa has found a friend in Albus, even if she's still tentative with everyone else. Can't wait to see what happens next! :)    



Author's Response:

ooh, that line's a gem! i never understood why the the richest group of the school would allow themselves to live in dungeons, where it would cold, wet, and dirty?? it never made sense tbh.

I think that's the funnest part of this story, to see how Hogwarts might have changed, as well as describe Hogwarts through Marissa's eyes. 

god, i wouldn't survive this party-crazed Hogwarts either. marissa's keeping a cool head through it all, at least.

i love hufflepuff al as well! slytherin al is already well represented, so why not make al hufflepuff (and it gave me a chance to throw my hufflepuff common room headcanons at you)? I'm so glad you liked the hufflepuff representation, it's there for people like you. 

and yes, wizards need to get in on modern literature, it is so so cool!! and they could get a laugh at how muggles believe wizards are like. 

thank you for reading and reviewing!! xx



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 10 Apr 2018 11:34 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { excitement is out, anxiety is in }

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I'm back!

(By the time you read this it probably doesn't look like I took a break but I did so there you go and here I am, ready to read again :D)

Marissa is such a potty mouth hahaha.

Another reason I love her character: She's in this brand new world but jumps straight into as many classes as she can.

Ah. New year, same prejudice.

Ooh I'm practically applauding in my seat that she managed to levitate the feather and earn points for Slytherin!

Aw Charity Burbage is alive in your story ♥

The names you've picked are so so cool.

Ooh a party sounds interesting. I can imagine all sorts of things going down in the Room of Requirement. Can't wait to find out how it goes!



Author's Response:

marissa is all of us, then lol

marissa does jump in pretty quick doesn't she? magic is very new and interesting for her, she wants to jump right in. we'll see how that goes for her. 

and then, the prejudice thing, i think there will always be a small undercurrent of it in some people. 

wait, charity burbage is dead? holy crap i totally forgot and accidentally added her into the story, wow. i need to change that. 

i like the names too! they're my favorite too :^)

in a party a lot of things can happen, so we'll see how marissa deals, yeah? 



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 10 Apr 2018 11:33 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { never stop smiling }

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Hi!

I like how we learn a little more about Marissa's character in every chapter, it means you don't info dump!

And I'm sorry, Marissa, but I laughed so hard when she fell to the ground! Imagine running into a solid wall with success only to end up with a sore nose anyway, ha ha!

Ooh, OOH! She's in Slytherin! I should have seen that coming but I kind of forgot about the sorting ceremony haha. Slytherin is totally perfect for her though! And she's there with my precious baby Scorpius, yaaay!

There is no way I'd have Marissa's self-restraint during a dinner in the Great Hall :P I'd be eating until I passed out under the table.

I liked the description of the common room. You made it sound very eerie and I wonder if Marissa will eventually grow to love it and feel comfortable there. She needs house pride!

Aw I'm so happy for her and glad she's excited! Can't wait to see how her classes go!    



Author's Response:

really? i was actually worried that i was info dumping too much, that's a relief! 

and thank you so much for thinking Marissa belongs in Slytherin, even I was doubting it for a second as i wrote her as a /complete/ ravenclaw in the first two chapters, but i totally didn't mean to. 

haha, neither would i! food is my one and only love. 

i hope marissa warms up too, slytherin is such a cool house, and i think the dynamic is perfect for her. 

thank you for reviewing! 



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 10 Apr 2018 11:33 AM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { brave new world }

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Hello, hello! Glad to be back! And thank you so much for the reviews you left me - they were such a surprise! ♥

I like Marissa's friends, they're quirky and I think the three of them have a nice dynamic together. My mouth literally dropped open when I read that Chie knows! Marissa was right, it's always the quiet ones :P Ooh she's a Chang! And a Squib! I love it. At least it made breaking the news easier!

I love the talking mirror! It's totally plausible and it breaks up the familiarity of Diagon Alley, since we already know pretty much all there is to it. It was a really cool detail to add in!

And so nice to see the joke shop! I sometimes forget it's in Diagon Alley, and got really excited when I read it. And yay, George! ♥
It totally doesn't surprise me that Marissa would meet Albus in a Quidditch shop, ha ha!

I'm left feeling even more intrigued than before! It's always so cool to watch OC's (especially Muggles) be introduced to the characters we know so well! I really enjoyed it :)    



Author's Response:

hey, that's no problem! you were doing this for me, so i figured i could do something nice back. :) 

I like Marissa's friends too! They were a little bit unexpected (for me) but they were completely a welcome! 

i'm glad you liked the talking mirror detail! 

I think that Marissa meeting George and Al was my favorite part to write too! 

thank you so much for reading! 



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 30 Mar 2018 08:54 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { it starts at the beginning }

Hello! Here from HPFT with your review! It's nice to meet you ♥

I'm a sucker for shiny things, so can I just start off by saying how much I love the chapter image?

I absolutely love the premise of this story. I think it's so unique and original, and I'm really excited about. I assume it was Dean Thomas who was the donor. It makes sense, since he's Muggleborn and grew up in the Muggle way of life. I think it's totally realistic for Marissa to start showing signs of magic. The fact she has enough to make her a witch worthy of an education at Hogwarts is really exciting!

Hehe, I love that the Golden Trio co-wrote a book on defensive magic. That takes me back to the Dumbledore's Army days... ♥ 

The only cc I have is that the tense and POV change throughout the chapter when they should be kept consistent. It varies from past to present tense, and third to omniscient POV, and also a bit of head-hopping. Try to change these so they're the same all the way through.

I really like Marissa as a character so far, and I'm excited to find out what happens to her at Hogwarts!    



Author's Response:

It's nice to meet you too, so hello!



The chapter image is a long fave of mine too! 



My main problem with this story was if whether it would be realistic if Marissa started showing signs of magic, if at all, only because of a blood transfer. But. That's the whole premise of the story, so I went on with it. 



That little tidbit is my favorite out of the one, I've always thought that the trio might do one. 



Thank you! I've started working on editing these, so it's updated a little haphazardly, though there are no new chapters, haha,,, 



I'm glad you like Marissa, she's my favorite OC that I've ever created. :)



Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 17 Mar 2018 01:58 PM · [Report This]
Story:Miracle Chapter: { it starts at the beginning }

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Hi!

 

I liked the way you've written your opening chapter. We find out some things about the plot and the characters, but you've also maintained a sense of mystery about many of the details. I don't feel like you unloaded a mountain of back story on me, as many writers do in their first chapters. 

 

Marissa is an instantly likable character. She's smart, thoughtful and a little worldly, but not brash and overconfident. She's not the "snarky extrovert concealing a shy inner soul" that has become very cliche for OC's in HP fics. Just from this first chapter, I feel like you really relate to her, which adds a lot to your story, I think.

 

The premise is neat. One would have to wonder how many "unintentional" witches and wizards would come to be in this manner. One would also expect that the prejudiced pureblood families would push for a law banning magical-to-muggle blood donation if it were widely known.

 

The only thing that bothered me a bit was how easily Marissa's family -- especially her parents -- seem to accept what's happening. I would have expected them to demand a lot more proof and support from the Headmistress before sending their daughter off to this place they learned of only minutes before.

 

Overall, your writing is very good. You use some interesting word choices and sentence structures that make this a unique piece. I hope you keep going with the story because I think good things will come of it!

 

-Dan



Author's Response:

Hi Dan! 

 

I'm very glad to see that you don't think I info-dumped you about Marissa, that's really relieving to hear. I was afraid that I might have put to much on the readers, so I really focused on sensory details and emotions rather than solid facts.

 

I'm also very gald to hear that you like Marissa! She was a character that I thought up on the fly, but it turns out I really like writing her for the reasons that you listed. I was worried that I might have made her cliched, but I needn't have worried, should I? I think it's interesting how you say I relate to her, but I never really realized that. Now really analyzing her, a lot of her thoughts are just mine projected onto her, and how I would react if I had gotten a letter to Hogwarts. 

 

Thank you! Now that you say that, that would be an interesting detail to keep in mind. 

 

I understand your concerns about Marissa's parents being perhaps a bit too calm. I originally intended for it to be intentional, but now as my story changes and its plot is shifted, I may have to edit some things. 

 

Thank you very much for your kind words (on both my story and writing style), and I hope to keep seeing you around!



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