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Reviews For Prisoner

Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 07 Jun 2018 07:46 AM · [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

ABBI OMG. I’m trying to do some reading of POG noms for trim voting, so I figured I’d come and drop a review on this story. And wow oh wow I definitely see why it earned a nomination.

 

 

I LOVE the way you switch between second and third person throughout this. First of all, because I feel like well-written second person stories are very few and far between, and secondly, because it just flows so nicely with the switches in POV.

 

 

Your characterizations of the Dumbledores are amazing. Percival, in his madness and love for his daughter, and Kendra, with her obsession with occupying her time no matter how menial the occupation might be, and Ariana, who’s so innocent but so troubled all at once.

 

 

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Alright, yeah, I’m definitely a little obsessed with this one-shot, and your writing in general. <3



Author's Response:

Hey Taylor,

Thank you so much for your kind words about this piece! I'm so happy that you thought so, it's so lovely to hear that you thought it deserved it's nomination too! I'm very flattered! I was so worried when I first posted this because I had never written 2nd person POV before and I didn't know if it had come across well or not! I'm so happy that the changing between POVs worked too which was another thing I was really unsure about with this piece. It was very new style for me so knowing that people think that I pulled it off is amazing! POG nominating/voting is so difficult as there is so many deserving writers/stories but thank you for taking the time to read this piece!

Abbi xo



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 17 May 2018 03:41 PM · [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

Hi Abbi! Here for Gryffie Review Tag. This was such a powerful piece and so well done! I thought you did a great job of capturing a parent's grief. Kendra's piece was so deep! I loved the part where she contemplates which House Ariana would be in. It's such a sad moment but seems so realistic for someone in her situation.

 

You explore Ariana's character so well, too. She seems so much more concerned with everyone else in her family and I think is definitely realistic for her case. When she recognizes the darkness in Gellert because it's similar to the darkness in herself, that was such a powerful moment. I thought the last section was wonderful; when she describes how the family is waiting to be whole again is so incredible and well-written. You're written this great character, as such a unique and observant person and I think you've done a beautiful job with this!

-Sarah



Author's Response:

Hello Sarah,

it's lovely to have you stop by <3

I'm glad you enjoyed the part with Ariana and Gellert, this little bit was one of the first things to come to me when writing her character. I always imagined her to be observant/curious in personality and I never thought she would loose that ablity. I liked the idea of her getting Gellert from the start when she talks about her darkness, it's a reference to her being an Obscurus which Gellert also recognises in her. They have a bond over that somehow which I wanted to play with that idea. 

I can't resist adding a slightly hopeful note into this story as it was pretty angsty! I like to end on a hopeful note generally or maybe a less dark note! I do hope they find what they were all looking for in that 'afterlife' because their time on earth wasn't the happiest and I think it was impossible for them to recover. I'm so pleased that Ariana's character came across as unique and observant, what a lovely compliment!

thank you so much for your review 

- Abbi xo 



Name: Unwritten Curse (Signed) · Date: 17 May 2018 10:13 AM · [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

Here for the Gryffie Review Tag! i have not read nearly enough of your work, my dear. I'm glad this gives me an excuse to visit your Author's Page.

 

What an emotionally charged piece. I don't really know how to coherently respond to this, so I think I'll focus this review on the parts that I especially loved--parts that stood out to me.

 

The first was when Ariana's mother was thinking about what House she would've been in had she been able to go to Hogwarts. It was such a sad moment. Being a mom is totally about those little moments of seeing your kids learning and exploring and growing. I think about those, too. I dream about the little things, like my daughter going to school for the first time and getting her hair cut, etc. That moment really struck me, when she's mourning that her daughter won't go to Hogwarts. It was a great way of showing her sadness through something concrete.

 

That Ariana's first word had been "dada"--that chilled me. You pack powerful emotions into simple moments. It's so heartbreaking that her father is imprisoned when he only acted out of fatherly devotion. I think I'd do the same if anyone tried to hurt my daughter. It's just instinct. 

 

That the ending was in second person was SO cool. Ariana isn't fully herself, so the invitation for the reader to become her, to fill in the pieces, was perfect. I love that the ending of this piece is like a new beginning for this family. When she says that her brothers are still holding on to the pain and the guilt, and that they will never let that go--that broke me. I hope that they can do so now, that they have moved on to the next life, the afterlife, and are together again. I imagine that Ariana will be "healed' now and they can move beyond what happened on earth.

 

BEAUTIFUL piece, my dear. I'm so glad I got to read this.



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 08 May 2018 12:13 PM · [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

Hi again!  Tag!


...when the laughter died…


That’s a very strong way to open this story.  I can already feel the detachment that this poor girl has with everything around her.  It’s probably the only way she can get through any of her days anymore.


The repeated line of “keep going, keep going” is also very effective.  Poor Kendra. She’s just taking things one minute at a time to keep from falling apart.  I can completely see her doing this too, maintaining her focus on the menial things to prevent a breakdown.


I love that Ariana senses things about Gellert that Albus maybe can’t at the moment.  I’m sure she’d tell him too, but she’s locked up within herself, so the warning won’t come.  This is really great, the way you show her able to perceive and understand, even though she’s got a limited view of the world.  


Oh, the part with Percival, seeing his side of the story, that’s where it became heartbreaking for me.  The effects that prison has on him are devastating. I can see what you described in so few words, his cell with her name everywhere. It’s such powerful imagery!   I really love the way that you were able to give us the perspective from all of the characters involved. It fleshes out Ariana’s life and makes us understand her so much more.  And now I see that the title has more to do with everyone in the family in some way. I’m hoping, along with Ariana, that whatever time they have in their reunion, it will be better than before.


Your second-person sections was very effective, and mixing the POV shifts was a brilliant way to showcase everyone, while still putting the focus on that poor little girl.


This was a lovely one-shot.  Well done!

 

Pix



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 23 Jan 2018 08:09 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

I have so many feelings but I don't even know where to begin. (I was going to use caps lock to fully express my adoration for this one-shot, but then I was feeling so many different emotions because of this story, mostly variations on sadness, that my brain couldn't handle the excitement. But I just wanted to let you know that your story definitely deserves excited caps locks that just screams love for this wonderful piece.)

 

The way you split this story up between second person POV for Ariana, and third person POV for her parents, is just so cool?? Like I'm just sitting here, absolutely boggled at how you managed to accomplish this so successfully. Each point of view was written with such clarity and skill that the characters' voices were all so distinct, and I'm just. Wow. (Also second person POV is honestly impossible to write so I'm just in awe haha.)

 

I love that you wrote about Ariana. It's so great hearing her voice, seeing her perspective, understanding what she's going through. Her trauma from the attacks by the Muggle boys is something that no one ever deserves, especially someone who seemed to bring light and love to the lives of her family members. You wrote her so well. The last part that she narrates just stabbed me right in the heart when I read it. So good omg.

 

ALSO let's just talk about how phenomenally you wrote Kendra and Percival? And also Aberforth and Albus, even though they were just briefly mentioned. Because they felt real, so real, and in the future, I'm probably going to have to struggle to remove this fic from my memories of canon. This is how it all happened, this fic, and I refuse to believe otherwise, haha.

 

Omg. I'm just so in love with this. <3

 

~Eva



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 02:40 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

Oh, my Merlin, Abbi... did you want to make me cry?

Anyway... hi, hon! Here with a snowball (hug) for you! :)

Before I comment on the story itself (and the heartbreak it caused...) I would like to say how much I loved the structure. I loved the alternance of second POV Ariana and third POV her parents. Also, Kendra and Percival are rarely characters on which there is so much focus and I really loved to get to know them, their thoughts and feelings through your writing (which is as lovely and beautifully emotional as usual)

Ariana's story (and the Dumbledores in general) is probably the most tragic of all the HP series... poor child... you really captured how lost she was, I loved how you wrote her inner conflict, what she was and what she is now, how she's sort of trapped inside herself. Also, the way she couldn't laugh anymore and how that was the moment she realized she didn't have a chance... it's so powerful. And so terribly sad...

Kendra's section killed me too. How she needs to show this stony facade to the world, how she keeps going even if it would be much simpler to just let go, only because she knows her children need her. You don't normally think of her as a model motherly figure, but she really is doing her best for them and she's doing it amazingly. I love this characterization.

Ah, Gellert... interesting how Ariana could feel the darkness in him, how she could see him as the manipulative individual that he is. While she can't really do anything about it, she is incredibly perceptive and I love that. Also, the way she can read both her brothers is awesome, too.

Ah, Percival... this was even more heartbreaking. His love for her kids, especially for Ariana, is so strong and I love that it served as a bit of an anchor for him in Azkaban. It's such an awful destiny... it's so horrible.

It's kind of sad that they all found peace only in their deaths, but it is sort of conforting that they could reunite and reconcile and find some happiness at least in the afterworld. Or at least I hope so. I loved how Ariana's parents were there to welcome her in heaven, it's sort of hopeful, even if it's still all so sad...

This was so awesome! You are really an incredible writer!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 11 Dec 2017 08:15 AM · [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

ABBI THIS STORY IS FANTASTIC OMG!

 

I love that you chose second person for Ariana. I find it so hard to write so I'm really impressed by this and I think it works really well. I LOVE the way you describe the relationship between Aberforth and Ariana, how close they were and how she couldn't laugh anymore when he left.

 

Kendra is amazing too. She's so resilient and strong but she breaks my heart. She lives for her children but sometimes she doesn't know how to do that. The part where Kendra wonders if she likes Ariana's bad days more because at least she shows some semblance of life is particularly strong.

 

To have Percival's point of view is incredible. I've never read it before. Or anything to do with him, really. I love that Ariana is daddy's little girl, and that she's the light that keeps him sane in Azkaban.

 

I HAVE SO MANY FEELS. Also tears. Oh gosh the ending is so bittersweet. They're all together in heaven and that's so beautiful, and freeing for all of them.

 

Laura is a lucky lady! Beautiful job with this, Abbi <3



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 10 Dec 2017 06:07 PM · [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

YOU ARE AN AMAZING WRITER AND SUPER TALENTED

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

I was so excited when I realized this was an Ariana story. There aren't enough of those! Your descriptions of how she views her life are really interesting and so sad. I like that you focus on specific images, but the emotion around them is unclear and unstable - it's like even though she can't remember her name sometimes, these images like Aberforth's blue eyes are the things she remembers most and can understand. It's such an effective way of showing her emotional/mental state.

 

Kendra's section is so sad. I love that you pointed out that she sometimes prefers Ariana's rage and distress to the days when she's void of emotion, because at least anger isn't just emptiness and Kendra feels liek she's sort of still there. Ah, it must be so hard for her. It made a lot of sense that she prefers to do all these tasks by hand as well, as it is something to take her mind off things and be productive, when she probably feels like she can't make any progress with Ariana which must be so heartbreaking and frustrating. I appreciated her thougths about her sons as well, as sad as they are, but it really shows how it's not just Ariana who's become distant, even if Ariana is the only one Kendra can do anything to help.

 

He reminded you of a spider, spinning words like webs. All his words were silky and full of purpose -- What an absolutely perfect description of Gellert. You hadn't even said who you were describing at this point but I could tell who it was instantly - it's so perfect that you don't even need to say, it's all there in the description. Honestly, I love this line. You capture Gellert's manipulation and strategizing without saying exaclty that, because Ariana doesn't really see the specifics, but she just gets a feeling and it's of silky words. Perfect.

 

Poor Percival :( It must be torture to have to relive that moment over and over. But I'm glad that he has memories of Ariana's good days to keep him sane in there... even if they're fleeting. Gah, this part is really sad.

 

Even though the last section of this is so sad, as it takes place during the fight that causes Ariana's death, I love that you manage to spin it into something positive at the end as Ariana joins her family, her mother and father who both doted on her so much, and they wait for Albus and Aberforth to join them too. And it kind of ties the story together too, as you had those other sections from Kendra and Percival's POV about how they thought of Ariana,  and then she joins them. It's almost uplifting, this thought that they have a second chance, wherever they are.

 

Wonderful writing ♥ and have an amazing birthday!



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2017 04:24 AM · [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

Abbi!  I promised you that I'd be here this weekend, didn't I?

 

I loved this piece - I really enjoyed reading your version of Ariana, and I thought you portrayed her really well.  The use of the second person narrative (probably my favourite) pulled us straight into the story and the confusion in Ariana's mind.  I thought it was really effective in making the reader understand how difficult and overwhelming life can be for her, particularly as her family keep seeming to leave her behind.  She's still a little girl in some ways, and she can't quite seem to process what's happening as she gets older and moves away from the child who was attacked by the Muggle boys.

 

The sections in third person with Kendra and Pervical were brilliant - I loved the introspection in those sections, particularly with Kendra, and the repetition of the tasks that she does to try and survive.  She's got so much to deal with and I can easily see the housework being a way for her to keep hold of control and feel like she's making a difference.  Your portrayal of Percival was really interesting, too - I don't think I've read about him before, but I really enjoyed seeing the way that he was so protective of his little girl and that the thought of her was what kept him struggling for sanity.  I found it so interesting that he'd probably do what he did over again.

 

The section when Grindelwald was introduced was brilliant - the imagery there was so evocative, and I loved the description of him spinning his words like spiders' webs.  The darkness and the sense of threat and danger came through really well in that section.

 

The final scene was kind of bittersweet - the image of them waiting through the years to be reunited, and the fact that death was a release of sorts for each of them.  I liked the idea that the family were together again, though - and I'd love to think that all the misunderstandings and conflicts from over the years between them get resolved now, too.

 

Sian :)



Name: manno-malfoy (Signed) · Date: 08 Dec 2017 07:04 AM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Prisoner Chapter: Prisoner

Hey there! I'm here for the winter wonderland! I don't think I've read anything by you, but I've always wanted to, so I'm super glad that the event brought me here.

 

Right off the bat, the writing style is captivating. You entranced me with how beautiful, and even poetic, your prose is, especially in the first section of the story. You communicate the character's pain and emotional turmoil so well and yet write about it so elegantly. And you get me hooked. 

 

I also really enjoyed how you approached the topic of motherhood and talked about the struggle, the responsibility, and all the emotions entagling all of that and conflicting her. And while mothers may be slightly biased, they do judge/analyse their kids better than most people. So it was quite nice to get to know your characters through the way Kendra percieved them. The line about how she couldn't tell if which state she perferred Ariana in because at least when she was being erratic at least she felt alive? Ah, that hit me right in the heart. Your eloquent writing still transitions and persists in this section as well. 

 

I like that it's easier to identify Ariana in her second section. And I admire that you you second person in Ariana's part especially when you mention that she feels like she has a monster in here, like she's not entirely herself. It just helps emphasize this dimension/otherness. It's also nice to know that despite her being reclusive and secluded, she has good instincts and could see right through Gellert. Although it's a bit heartbreaking when she thinks she can only decipher him because they share the same sort of darkness. The poor thing. It's even more heartbreaking that she finds comfort in death. But I appreciate that you ended it on a better note (sombre as it still may be), being reunited with Aberforth and the rest of her family in another realm.



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