Hayden, my word, this is incredible!! Oh, hi. I’m here (late) for your Hot Seat, by the way. :)
I have so many questions! Like, what happened between Hermione, Ron and Harry? How did she get mixed up with Blaise and Draco? How did she get into a realationship with both of them? And why won’t Sirius just speak to her? This can’t be it! I need more!
I really love this dark vibe of the piece. It’s almost like I can see the low lit, smokey atmosphere of the pub, with people watching people and clinging to their drinks. And the fact that you can nail that vibe is astounding, considering you have yet to expirence it! Your writing is always such a treat!
I really love the way that this is split up. You really don’t know how much time has passed between sections, but you can tell it’s been a bit of time between each section, if that makes sense.
Without even hearing Hermione speak, you can tell how much she’s changed. She’s become harder it seems, since the war ended. Just by reading Sirius’ observations of her, you can tell she’s not the same girl as before. A bit darker. And it makes me so want to know exactly what happened to her.
It was so great that it just started out like a random observer. But as it went on and on, it wasn’t so random at all. It was almost like he was kind of stalking her. Which was a little creepy, but that added to the tense atmosphere of the story. I just loved it!
Every time I stop by your page, it reminds me that I need to stop by your page more often. I always truly enjoy your work. It’s so vivid and packed with emotion, no matter what the word count is. You’re a really great author, love!
I’m so sorry I was so late! But I really loved this! Thanks for sharing!!
Love and hugs,
The “cool” Aunt XD
Hearing only snatches of this during fic night due to a glitching feed on my end I knew I wanted to come back and actually read this story. It is as intriguing now as it was then. The prose is absolutely lovely and the descriptions are powerful. There were some very clear images in my head as I read this.
I love how you told this tale from an invested outside observer. It was such a unique pov to tell your tale. After reading I had to go back and see who your POV character was and had a George Takai "oh my" moment with it being Sirius Black. It was shocking and yet so interesting.
I would love to see you explore more of this story but if you don't this stands well also. It is a mark of a good writer in my opinion if you get the reader invested enough to want more from you - so wonderful job and keep putting out lovely work dearest!
I haven't really read too much of your work before but I thought I would take the opportunity of winter wonderland to explore new writing.
I think it's a interesting piece, I was really expecting it to focus more of the relationship between Hermione and the two boys but you really put a twist on it with adding is other person into the mix. It was really intense as he describes watching her and I thought the story telling was something really unique as you don't see too many stories from this focus point. I can't help thinking how creepy it is that he is watching her like he thinks of himself as a weird guardian angel of hers.
So I am right in thinking that the watcher is Sirius? I'm not sure that it directly says that in the piece but maybe hints towards it a bit. I mainly got his inclusion the 'character list'. It's a brave decision to do something like this with his character as it's such a popular character but that's the wonderful thing about fan fic, they can be whatever you want them to be. I thought you did a good job at psychologically showing his state of mind and you managed capture a lot of mixed emotions though it was quite a short piece so that's a credit to your writing abilities.
- Abbi xo
I decided after being a rather woeful NaNo buddy, the least I could do was to stop by the project you finished! It's an interesting story and take on these characters.
Unless I'm specifically searching for something, I usually don't read story shells so part of the intrigue for me in this story was figuring out exactly who the "people watcher" was. I realized fairly quickly that it was someone older than her, then MUCH older than her, but I was surprised when I looked back to see it was Sirius. Though there are many Hermione pairings, these are some I think I've rarely seen before. And certainly not as tastefully.
It's a difficult dynamic to write a people watcher I think - at least having never been much of one (1) myself - but I thought the presentation of it, especially as unknown, unrequited, and more in the context of her actual relationship with Blaise and Draco made sense for under the circumstances. The ending also explained the intensity of focus as well. Sirius as a removed, dimmed star is a solid choice for this portrayal.
It is always interesting to me the different ways polyamory is written in stories too. I think the struggle for me in that regard was that the same distance that worked so well for Sirius and the yearning Sirius/Hermione dynamic stripped away some of the opportunity for deeper understanding of the Blaise/Draco/Hermione dynamic. Still, I think it can work well within this structure if Sirius also manages to document its evolution. Even being focused on Hermione he notices other changes in her so I think he could detail how the interactions between them also developed nicely.
The descriptions of Hermione in particular though were well done. I think you certainly did a good job of showing through her demeanor, face, attire, etc. that the relationship was a very positive influence on her life. I also liked that you didn't go down the road that so many poly stories seem to where there's an emphasis on imbalanced love and affection and sadness/disappointment of the disaffected member.
Thanks for sharing this, Hayden! I hope you enjoyed NaNo-ing!