Reviews For Collateral

Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2020 02:33 AM · For: A Lesson in Control

And now we’re up to the last posted chapter! :( 


[Live review booting up]


Considering this chapter is titled “A Lesson in Control,” I have some major worries that someone else is going to get hurt or killed again, and I do not like it! I’m happy to see that Theo is defrosting a bit and speaking with Hermione again, and doing their weird dating-but-not-dating-hand-holding thing a lot. I DON’T LIKE POISONING, THIS IS NOT FUN NO MA’AM. SIX GRYFFINDORS POISONED AT BREAKFAST? NOT COOL, EMILY, NOT COOL!


OOOH DADA PRACTICAL? HELL YEAH I’M EXCITED NOW! This sounds super cool and I wonder if it’s to have more practical application for the spells they’ll use for their N.E.W.T. exam or for real life aka fighting in the War. Oooh Kingsley and Emmeline Vance the AURORS are here?? OOOH YEAH! This is such a fantastic idea, oh my god, I love this so much it is so fitting for the time and the class and yes just so much yes! That’s a little positive for such an unforgivable curse, but hey, it’s going to be a great lesson so whatever. The idea of the consent forms and the lack of attachment to grades for class and the ability to leave if triggered is SO GOOD, Emily, and super helpful and inclusive of all students’ backgrounds and emotional states, so kudos to you for specifically including all of that stuff! 


The way you’ve had each of the participants describe their experiences is unique to each person, but still covers the same material, which is very skillful! Kingsley is clearly impressed with Hannah Abbott’s throwing off of the curse, but I have to wonder if he sort of expected Harry to be able to do it because he knows Harry much better. At any rate, it was good to see Hermione do a half-decent job throwing it off and explaining how it felt. If Draco had participated, that would have felt out of character for him, so I’m glad you gave him a good reason for not participating. Overall, this was a really really neat chapter and I look forward to seeing what happens next when you update! :) 



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2020 02:13 AM · For: Making Peace and Promises

Hi again, Emily!


IT’S TIME FOR DRACO AND HERMIONE HONEST CONVERSATION WOOO! Yes, we love a good meaty conversation and a meaty chapter in this house. The candor with which both Draco and Hermione are speaking while in the Room of Requirement “hideout” is refreshing to read. TBH, Hermione is a little *too* trusting of Draco right off the bat, regardless of his words, because he’s always been fairly decent at manipulating people, his tattered reputation after Half-Blood Prince being disregarded. The emotional availability Draco shows Hermione is a little surprising at first, but after realizing just how much shit he’s had to deal with over the last couple of months at school, constantly being harassed about being a Death Eater and almost killing Dumbledore, I’m sure he’s just grabbing onto any positive emotional response from Hermione that he can. 


Hermione’s resolution to force Ron and Harry to join in her truce with Draco is one part smart/logical and one part emotional/safety insurance, I’m sure. She can’t do things in secret all of the time, and she’s already high profile with being Head Girl and kinda-sorta-maybe being with Theo, so she figures it’s all best out in the open with her best friends. And she brings him to Theo too, so they can get past some of their issues concerning Urquhart’s death and Draco’s Death Eater association and whatnot. Not the cleanest ending, but with Theo, he’s got a huge grudge that I don’t really blame him for, but there’s the promise of civility at least, which is a start. Great chapter, I loved the emotional impact this one had! 



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2020 01:51 AM · For: A Place to Hide

Okay, there’s a lot going on in this chapter! The tone of this story is definitely transitioning to something much darker than it started out as in chapter one, and I think that you’ve done it subtly enough that it’s really only shocked us with Hart’s death two chapters ago into that more frightening area of realizing just how close the War really is, and that anyone, really, can become collateral damage ( ;) ). Describing how Theo is processing his grief compared to Hermione is done with a gentle touch, and that I really liked. Ooh, and we’re paralleling this with the boys discovery of the real Slytherin’s Locket (hopefully) that Regulus copied and Harry found with Dumbledore the previous year. Nice! I was very curious to see how much of the Deathly Hallows canon info and plots you were going to incorporate into this, and this was a pleasant surprise to read about! 


In my honest opinion, I feel it’s definitely more productive of the Trio to be continuing their search this way, at Hogwarts, with all of those resources available to them, and regular schoolwork to do to keep them focused if they aren’t making progress on finding the Horcruxes. The decision for only Ron and Harry to go to Grimmauld Place over the winter holidays to look for the locket while Hermione stays behind at Hogwarts is one I’m sure is very necessary for future events, so I look forward to finding out just what will happen when they’re split up! 


QUIDDITCH TIME, YEAH! Thank you for putting some positivity into this chapter -- Quidditch is never not a fun thing to read about in fic, and I love the strategizing and heated discussion Harry and Ron are having about their opponents as the game gets underway. I forgot that Luna canonically takes over the announcer position after Lee Jordan graduates, so that was a fun thing to highlight as well! And we end with a secluded Hermione and Draco conversation about to happen in the Room of Requirement. Anything can happen! [insert scream emoji here]



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2020 01:23 AM · For: Pandemonium

I can’t believe Hart is gone! We barely got to know him [insert sob emoji here] This is a very heavy chapter, wow. I mean, I knew there would be grief and pain, but this blindsided me, Emily. It’s extremely worrisome that Urquhart was killed in the middle of Hogsmeade in broad daylight, yet no one actually saw it happen. Hermione and Theo essentially being zombies after returning to Hogwarts is written very realistically, and I’m glad you had them go find the other Slytherins. It’s always better to process grief in groups, especially when the deceased was everyone’s friend. It also makes sense that they would be skeptical of Hermione’s opinion on Draco’s role in this terrible event, but she’s very aware of her position as an outsider and takes her leave. Harry, Ron, and Ginny give her the support they can, but they knew him even less than Hermione did, but they are also grieving to some extent considering it’s one of their peers. What a horrible, horrible thing to nearly witness from Hermione and Theo’s point of view, especially as Hermione isn’t quite yet familiar with facing death directly. Malfoy’s crazed shouting about his innocence and disheveled appearance is concerning but also logical as he was last seen fighting with said deceased and will therefore be the first accused. I’m very curious to see what they will find out about Hart’s death and how it happened, and then the potential consequences of that information. Onwards!



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 09:51 PM · For: Hogsmeade

Hello, I have returned! 


Ah, I just love how you’re portraying Hermione and Ginny’s friendship in this novel! They clearly grew very close over the last summer and got past any weird things that may have occurred form Hermione and Ron dancing around their feelings for so long, and are now besties. I love it so much! Ginny doing her work with some help from Hermione is lovely, but she’s also not stupid on her own, so it’s nice that Ginny’s just got Hermione for support so she can excel in her coursework without completely breaking down about it. But of course that quality study and gossiping time can’t last very long with Malfoy lingering around. 


I’m very curious to see why Malfoy is so intent on being left alone by everyone while at Hogwarts when it’s almost like he’s trying to stir up trouble anyway. Like, I can understand why he hates the scrutiny and insults and everything from others, but there’s only so much he can do to not be the suspect for a lot of things. I’m glad Hermione was willing to accept his reasons for now, but that she’s still being super cautious about him -- she’s not stupid, and won’t fall for a quick conversation between the two as signifying he’s a changed man. 


And then we’ve got Hogsmeade weekend, aw! Pansy yelling at her and Theo was done very well, and I look forward to seeing what the ripple effect of the knowledge of Hermione and Theo being together spreading throughout the school will do. Nooo not Terrance!! OH GOD EMILY, WHAT HAVE YOU SET IN MOTION? 



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 07:52 AM · For: Carnival

It’s carnival time!! :D 


Ahhh Emily, I loved this so much! So spooky, so fall, so CARNIVAL! Everything simultaneously feeling like it’s falling apart but also coming together while the Prefects put up decorations is a Big Mood that I can completely relate to! I’m honestly so in love with how expansive of an event you made this considering they really only had a single week to get this all planned and approved and materials gathered. Emily. I can NOT get over the BANTER between Theo and Hermione. I. Just. Cannot. It’s too damn cute! Ah, and Ginny and Harry’s reactions are probably very similar to what mine would have been if I could see it for real, because your girl loves a good spoopy carnival. Ron’s pride in what he helped to decorate or set up is so fun to see -- we don’t really get to see Ron be very prideful about things he’s good at in the books aside from chess, so this was a nice little spotlight for him that I really appreciate. Funny how Ron excels at the muggle carnival games in comparison to Ginny, but for Harry and Hermione, it’s a bit of a wash. 


That note concerns me, but what concerns me more is that blatantly bizarre behavior from Draco Malfoy! First, the running his hand through his hair move (classic) and then SALUTING Hermione with a two finger salute?! I DON’T TRUST HIM, EMILY! Then again, Theo popped up pretty quick and then Hermione is busy with not-flirting but flirting with Theo, so I guess Draco’s forgotten for the time being. AHHHHHH EMILY YOU DARE! You *dare* to put Theo and Hermione right next to the maze and have them have a relationship talk and *DON’T* have them kiss? RUDE! But I suppose that is tempered by that end with Draco’s disillusionment charm. I’m not a fan, and I fear that he might be manipulating Theo through unknown means that perhaps Theo doesn’t even realize in order to get at Hermione. I know this is theoretically going to be a Draco/Hermione, but man his behavior is so volatile right now I can’t see how that volatilization will turn Hermione to his side in the future. At any rate, I have to sleep, but I’ll be back tomorrow for more! 



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 07:23 AM · For: Plans

I’m back for more, Emily! 


Ah, we’re starting off with a time jump now, so we’re well into October if my memory of the previously passed time is correct. I’m happy to learn Hermione had a girl talk with Ginny! We love women supporting women in this house!! Okay, not going to lie, the thing that popped into my head when Theo said “All right, keep your secrets” was the LotR meme with Frodo talking to Gandalf {insert grimacing emoji here]. Which, if anything, made that moment funnier than you even intended, so thanks internet for that brain routing. THEY’RE TOTALLY FLIRTING WITH EACH OTHER THOUGH, COME ON YOU TWO, QUIT DOING THAT! IT’S NOT GOING TO END WELL! Oooh, we’re getting a carnival?? HELL YEAH, EMILY!! I think it’s cute how they call each other partner, like they’re cowboys in the Wild West or something. I’m so excited you had that detail about Hermione’s hair frizzing and puffing up from the heat and humidity during their potion brewing -- it’s a character trait that got lost in the later films, but seeing here is so great! Ah, a fun and boisterous Prefect meeting about the carnival! I’m excited to see what all you plan to have for it! Ah THEO YOU CHEEKY DEVIL! Okay I am super excited about all of the fun things being planned for next chapter, so I’ll see you there shortly!



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 07:06 AM · For: A Sickening Discovery

That cliffhanger was too much!


The quick thinking and logicing of how to proceed with this situation between everyone is honestly impressive, and unfortunately tinged with the knowledge of a forthcoming war necessitating such preparedness for difficult situations. I’m just picturing a huge pool of blood that couldn’t possibly come from a single human being, and its highly visible location doing exactly what Theo and Hermione suspect it’s meant to do - start frightening the student population, and plant the seed of worry about the safety of Hogwarts. I enjoyed the spellwork Slughorn did on the blood to test its origin a lot; the detail was great, but it also wasn’t excessively long, given the tense nature of the situation and multiple potential outcomes based on the result. If it’s not Draco trying to wreak chaos and distrust within Hogwarts, then I’m very curious to see who could be another turncoat within Hogwarts. Oh Hermione, sometimes your Gryffindor bravery just isn’t enough when facing off with Malfoy alone! He’s very threatening and rather confrontational, which I feel like he might have grown out of a bit considering the slump he went through the previous year. But then again, perhaps with the mission success, he’s gotten some confidence back and is flaunting it this way. Regardless, onwards I go! 



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 06:48 AM · For: Just a Saturday Afternoon

Hello again!


Wow, this is such a fun, happy chapter!While it seems a bit fast (to me) for Hermione to have made such fast friends out of Theo and Garrett, I’m sure you wrote it this way to keep the plot moving without advancing too far along into the school year and running into problems there. Obviously these Slytherins don’t have it out for her or anything, but I’m always cautious as a reader for Hermione when it comes to Slytherins :P Malfoy really is being a git, and I’m very curious to learn more about this clear divide that’s in Slytherin House with the crew who is “with” Malfoy, and those who are not, and how the common room ~aura~ is when there’s tension between the two groups.  It’s so nice to see that Harry and Ron can, in fact, get over their own prejudiced ideas about what it means to be a Slytherin, and have friendly interactions with all of these others. Ooh, I wonder if Ron and Mandy might develop into something.... Hm… to be considered later! Of course Malfoy has to show up and ruin their happy morning. I mean, I know he’s a dramatic man, but geez, Malfoy, cut the antics and dramatized statements and just act like a seventeen year old, bro! Anyway, thanks for that cliffhanger, I’m continuing now!



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 06:18 AM · For: Slytherins

Hiya :) 


Well, Theo is much more of an open book than I thought he would be, considering he is a Slytherin and has that pureblooded heritage and all. I think Hermione can appreciate his openness though, and will come to understand him and be closer to him because of it. Ah, the classic start of term breakfast with the handing out of schedules and a reunion of our Golden Trio. The easy affection Harry and Ginny have is so cute and show they’ve matured significantly even just over the summer with their relationship. Ron lumbering in late and shoveling food into his mouth is very characteristic, love it! Ooh, Ancient Runes class time! I’m so happy you’re choosing to incorporate some class time into this story, and a lesser-known class at that, because I’m always curious to see how others write about classes and what happens during them. Professor Babbling seems to be very into pedagogical practices with the table groups and knowing that everyone wants to chat for a little bit while they get started. I liked meeting Sam and Garrett this chapter -- clearly they’ve kept to themselves over the years, which makes sense why Hermione wouldn’t necessarily know everyone in their year by name, but might recognize their faces at the very least. Harry and Ron’s incredulity at the niceness of these Slytherins is funny, but I do hope Hermione can actually convince them that they’re nice people later on. I’m excited for more ensemble cast moments! 



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 06:06 AM · For: A Broken Vase

Hey again!


I honestly love the idea of Theodore Nott as Head Boy to Hermione’s Head Girl, mostly because I know he’s a very intelligent character, and they can have such a unique dynamic compared to her with Draco as Head Boy, which is more frequently done, so I’m happy you’ve paired them together for this story. McGonagall being Headmistress and running this meeting as straightforwardly as it goes is so typically McGonagall -- you’ve gotten her character down well already, and we’re only in the third chapter! Ooh I absolutely ADORE this Heads dormitory you’ve described, it sounds gorgeous and warm and welcoming to live in. Even though I’m a fan of Dramione, I honestly am totally here for Theo and Hermione to maybe get together in this fic because honestly they’re very well-matched in lots of areas, and if Crookshanks gives him his seal of approval, then he gets mine too! :P Oh Filch, he never gets any time off, and he can’t even use magic to clean things up. Of course Hermione finds Draco effing *waiting* for her, and he’s his weirdly outspoken self for this interaction, almost like he’s trying to lead her down a dangerous path with him. I don’t trust him one bit! 



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 05:49 AM · For: The Sorting Hat's Warning

Hi Emily!


I’m finally back to continue reading this! The speed with which Harry and Ron have their wands raised at Malfoy’s throat is impressive, and also begs the question of their practicing over the summer at the Burrow. I love the verbal sparring all of them participate in, even if it’s not particularly productive for any of them either -- it reminds me they’re still teenagers and prone to fits of stupidity when it comes to saying things they can’t follow through on. I love your reworking of the Sorting Hat’s song that we got in the original books -- it expands on the soon-to-be-raging war that’s coming for all of them, but also speaks to the strength of a unified student body. Love it, and the omens it predicts about Hogwarts. It’s nice to see the DA already talking about protecting themselves and keeping an eye on things as the school year begins at Hogwarts. Ooh, I’m curious to learn more about your two new professors for DADA and Transfiguration in later chapters! See you next chapter :) 



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 31 Aug 2019 06:31 AM · For: A Predictable Appointment

Hi Emily! :) 


So I remember reading this ages ago on HPFF, so I figured it was high time I started it over and read it again! :) I love the premise of this as disregarding Deathly Hallows, because there is so much in limbo at the end of Half-Blood Prince, especially with Harry and what he has to decide to do, so this is a great start to that alternate reality! It’s honestly hard for me not to be thinking about the canon events as I read this, but that’s also what makes it so compelling because this is so different. Also, can I just say how much I love the Head Girl/Head Boy shared dorm trope? Because I do love it and I can’t wait to see how you employ it here. 


I’m happy (yikes, maybe not the best word choice, but you get the sentiment) that you still had Hermione obliviate her parents. It’s a huge part of her character arc in canon, and even though she’s returning to Hogwarts, she still recognizes that it’s not safe anymore for her parents, so she sends them to Australia and hopes that they’ll be all right. Head Boy Theodore Nott coming atcha, oh man and is he the most disinterested person for the job! I’m very excited to see how you develop Theodore’s character as we’re not given much information about him in canon. What a cliffhanger ending though, wow! You’ve done a great job setting this novel up, and hooked me (again) with that dramatic appearance of Draco Malfoy on the train at the end. 


Great opening chapter, Emily! I’ll be back soon for more :)



(Puff-a-Claw-polypse Reviewing Event, Team Huffleclaw)

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 20 Jul 2019 01:35 AM · For: A Lesson in Control

WAIT EMILY I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER SO FAR? WHAT I’M SO DISAPPOINTED. This has been such an enjoyable story so far, and I absolutely love all the new chapters, and I’m so excited for the rest of what you might have! (How many chapters are you planning total?)


You know, wouldn’t it be the most terrible thing if the whole time, I’ve just been hating on Theo and he didn’t actually do it? :P I don’t know what I would do, to be honest, but since this isn’t the real world, I’m going to keep my fingers pointed at him until I’m proven wrong! I still don’t trust him, and his refusal to really trust Draco rubs me the wrong way, and the fact that he’s not really calling Hermione his girlfriend makes me think he’s still just trying to use her somehow. BUT I DON’T KNOW. I KEEP HATING ON HIM IN EVERY REVIEW. However, Theo is suspicious and deserves it hmph. How can anyone believe that Draco killed Hart when he wasn’t anywhere near him?? That’s what really baffles me.


Anyway. This chapter’s contents was so interesting. I love the way you showed a lot of different students’ reactions without making it boring in any way! I was just hooked from the beginning of this chapter to the end, as soon as I found out that Kingsley Shacklebolt and Emmeline Vance were going to be teaching the class. I also thought the contrast between this class and the previous Mad-Eye Moody one was really, really good—the waivers and asking permission and everything felt so much more ethical, and I was really glad of it. And after reading this chapter, I’m suddenly so much more interested in Hannah; I was incredibly proud of her for being able to shake it off like that?? It was incredible. I hope she shows up more hehe. <3


Hermione being shaken and frustrated after the curse felt really relatable too. I mean, of course I can’t ever imagine what it would be like not having control over my own body, but I would probably feel incredibly helpless and angry. And I would hate for anyone else to feel that way.


I love you and this story so much!!! Thank you for writing! I’m really looking forward to what the next chapter has in store for us. <3




Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 20 Jul 2019 01:18 AM · For: Making Peace and Promises

Can we talk about how beautiful Emma Watson is?? I keep seeing her on your chapter images, and I keep getting distracted by just how stunning she is.


But anyway! On topic!


I honestly can’t believe that Hermione made Draco talk to Harry, Ron, and Theo in the same day hahaha. I was so thankful when she listened to him, and believed what he had to say, because the fact that he seems to be hiding from the Slytherins in addition to the rest of the school is kind of telling. Like, Draco would not be stupid enough to kill someone from his own House, with Death Eater-ish allegiances (at least, I’m assuming, considering what Hart said to Draco about not being able to kill Dumbledore). It was really sad when he said he missed when things were normal, though, to be fair, he probably could have gone without making his political beliefs clear from day one, and gone without terrorizing the Golden Trio for so long. (This is off-topic but I’m hiccupping so much right now so like every three words, I’m letting out the goofiest sounding hiccup you can imagine.)


When Hermione traced over Draco’s Death Eater symbol tattooed on his forearm and realized that she wasn’t scared of him whatsoever, I smiled a bit. It was a sweet moment, and I hope it’s a sign that Draco is genuinely starting to reform himself and change for the better!


I’m really glad that Harry ended up agreeing with Hermione that Draco couldn’t have killed Hart, even if he still doesn’t like Draco as a person, though Ron was a bit tougher. Hermione can definitely handle herself haha, way better than he could protect her, anyway, so I think he doesn’t need to worry so much. :P


When she made him talk to Theodore Nott, I was so nervous omg. At least Theodore didn’t like kill him or anything, but like I have a feeling that it didn’t really actually make Theodore like Draco BECAUSE THEO WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HART AND I WILL PUSH FOR THIS TILL THE END. UNLESS HE DIDN’T, IN WHICH CASE I WILL NOT.




Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 20 Jul 2019 12:15 AM · For: A Place to Hide

Okay, not having confirmation about Theodore is driving me crazy, because even though I’m like 93% sure I’m correct, I can’t be positive, and so I feel like every time I see him speak or act or look a certain way, I’m just reading into what he’s saying/doing. For instance, the fact that he’s withdrawn from everyone? I think it’s so that he doesn’t have to pretend to not be the murderer, so that he has a slimmer chance of messing up and getting himself incriminated. I’m not positive that he feels no guilt—I think the croaky voice and everything could potentially be the guilt messing with him (either that, or he’s really good at acting)—but I think he’s almost definitely the one who actually committed the murder.


But no one believes that it’s not Draco, not even Harry, who I was hoping would support Hermione. Which is so sad! After all, like she mentioned at the beginning of the story, he was the only one who actually saw Draco hesitate when he faced Dumbledore, and so I hoped that he would be the one to back Hermione up???


Did Theo ever intend on Hermione being his ‘girlfriend’? Was he planning on this distraction preventing him from ever doing so? I wonder if he’s trying to get closer to her or something because Voldemort wants to know about what’s happening with the Horcruxes, or something like that, though I can’t imagine that Theo knows about them. But maybe he just wants to be closer to the Golden Trio in general, to know what they’re up to. I wonder if Theo and Hart had originally planned on framing Draco for something, and maybe Theo took it farther than Hart had realized he was going to??




Are Hermione and Draco going to talk now??? I’m so so excited omg. His last words at the chapter, where he mentions he just looked for a place to hide, made my heart ache a little bit. <3




Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 11:46 PM · For: Pandemonium

Theo was staring with a “blank, detached expression”! Though I don’t know if there’s really another culprit in the story that’s the actual one, and you’re just trying to trick us with Theo, but at the moment I’m just going to stick with my original theory and say that Theo is a psychopath and a Death Eater and a murderer, which is why he’s been so eerily calm this whole time and why he’s been so furiously against Draco from the beginning—but what would his purpose be? Is he trying to prove himself a better Death Eater than Draco?? GASP IS HE JEALOUS THAT DRACO GOT INDUCTED INTO THE GROUP SO YOUNG? He mentioned way in the beginning that only Draco had been qualified enough to join the Death Eaters as a teenager, which makes me think he’s envious…


Hermione, you’re smart! Figure it out soon! (Unless I’m wrong, but hopefully I’m not hahah.) At least, though, she doesn’t blame Draco. I don’t know what I would do if she blamed Draco, because I am wholeheartedly convinced that he’s not the murderer, and that he couldn’t kill if he tried. Speaking of which, Hart’s taunt right before he disappeared and died was really strange, wasn’t it? Like he basically said the equivalent of “you’re so weak you can’t even murder someone” which is…sketchy hahaha.


AHHH DRACO I BELIEVE YOU. I don’t think you’re necessarily a good person, but no one really deserves to be accused for something that they didn’t do. I’m looking forward to Draco’s further character arc, though, now that we’re more on his side than in the beginning!




Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 11:30 PM · For: Hogsmeade

IN ALL MY CURIOSITY ABOUT DRACO’S BEHAVIOR, I TOTALLY FORGOT TO REACT TO THEODORE AND HERMIONE OMG. So here we are: I’m veeerrryyyy skeptical about this relationship. I do not know why, but I don’t entirely trust Theodore Nott, and I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been primed to think all Slytherins from this time period are all somewhat sketchy.


Wait omg Emily I wrote that paragraph before I read the chapter, and now that I’ve read the chapter, I’m going to double down on my distrust for Theodore Nott. Because Draco seemed so, so genuine, and there’s literally no reason he would risk his pride (and the ire of other Purebloods) and be kind to Hermione and target her for sympathy unless he truly meant it, and even though my reasoning seemed flimsy I’m still convinced. I don’t think he did any of that terrible stuff that everyone thinks he’s done, and it makes me truly upset that he won’t just tell the truth about what he didn’t do! Like, he left Hermione to believe that he did it, why would he do that?? You big dummy.


So I’m even more sure now that Theodore Nott has somehow been behind all these things. His date with Hermione was a little uncomfortable and everything, and what if he’s like secretly with Pansy or something like that? He was unrealistically kind to her during the Prefects’ meeting when she said “vulgar Muggle costumes,” and just now it seems weird that he just gave up on yelling at Pansy so easily?? (Told you, mysteries make a conspiracy theorist out of me. :P) AND THEODORE WAS THE LAST ONE TO SEE HART. I REALLY HOPE PEOPLE SUSPECT HIM NOW. PLEASE. Of course he would target the one person that Draco last had a fight with AHHHH.







P.S. Sorry for all my screaming. :P

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 09:57 PM · For: Carnival



The carnival sounds absolutely beautiful omg; I felt so envious reading the descriptions of it because this is like the carnival of my childhood dreams. I got really big Night Circus vibes from it, not because I remember the book very well or anything, but because I remember both the book and this chapter made me want, more than anything, to attend a carnival/circus setting. I’m proud of Hermione for doing a beautiful job to plan and organize this wonderful event, and to make everyone happy for one evening, and I’m also proud of you for describing it in such a magical way that it made me want to attend. The magical haunting melody playing makes me think it would be a mix between like a haunted mansion and your everyday circus, which would be perfect for Halloween.


Draco’s behavior is so weird??? (I’m beginning to think that I should discard my previous conspiracy theory haha. :P) Like he clearly has something weird for Hermione somehow, which he expresses through his weird and sudden civility and politeness haha (which has the result of making Hermione suspicious of him), but was he angry afterwards because jealousy?? Was he even looking to ask her out??? Was he angry because he didn’t want Theo to like a Muggle-born? I still feel like Draco knows Something Bad about Theodore Nott, which he doesn’t want Hermione to face, but I’m not entirely positive about this.






Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 09:38 PM · For: A Sickening Discovery

The title did not sound good, so I was prepared for the worst, and I should’ve known it was blood omg. At first I was genuinely horrified because I thought Draco like killed a man (or person :P) and just like held them out in the Great Hall to bleed out slowly to death…and then it turns out it was dragon blood haha. Thank goodness. I’m really quite glad that no one was actually like injured in the process of scaring the students. And I wonder how Hermione’s going to go about gathering proof for who did this? Who did this anyway???


Also, I can’t believe that Hermione’s starting to like Theo; NO HERMIONE. ELIMINATE YOUR FEELINGS. Or, I suppose, it’s fine for the time being haha, though if he finds out I hope it’s at least reciprocated in some form. It’s not fun to be the ‘unrequited’ part in ‘unrequited love.’ Hopefully it’s just a passing crush!


As mystery stories always bring out the conspiracy theorist in me, I have a theory, with absolutely no proof, but I hope it entertains you! Here we go. CONSPIRACY: Theodore Nott is not as good a person as he seems, and so all of the complete and utter hatred that Theo has for Draco is either a front, or because he’s angry at Draco for messing up the assassination of Dumbledore the previous year. Because of Theodore’s close ties with Death Eaters (his parents), he buys into their doctrines more than he revealed to Hermione, and so he wants to scare the school with the dragon blood and stuff, using Draco as a decoy.


AM I RIGHT? PROBABLY NOT. I think I was just suspicious of Hermione starting to like him so I concocted reasons why she shouldn’t haha. :P




Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 08:56 PM · For: Just a Saturday Afternoon

WHAT DID DRACO DO?? Hopefully he didn’t like kill someone or anything (from my reviews, you wouldn’t be able to tell that I’ve read this story before, I actually have the worst memory in the world). Speaking of Draco omg, you know you’ve set a low bar for yourself when Hermione’s impressed that you didn’t even threaten her hahaha. I can’t even tell if Draco’s good mood is supposed to be a sign of a character arc, or if he’s doing something devious that he’s just genuinely delighted about. I just have a very suspicious feeling about all of his recent behavior, and I need to know what’s happening!


I loved how in this chapter, the Slytherins and Gryffindors finally all met, and everything went well! It’s really entertaining how Hermione constantly admires Garrett’s physical attractiveness, haha, and I wonder if anything’s going to happen here. See, I’ve been totally ruined by fanfictions; every time a character thinks that another is attractive, I just automatically think that something’s going to happen between them haha. She really seems to get along well with Garrett, though! And Theo! Hopefully they’ll all stay friends and I don’t have to worry about messy feelings, especially when the Dramione part gets involved. :P


Okay, speaking of sniffing out maybe-romantic-intentions, are Ron and Mandy going to potentially become a thing?? Bonding over chess is adorable and nerdy, and it would be really fun to see these two at each other’s throats for chess-related things over the next few chapters hahaha. Ugh I’m glad that everyone bonded though, I don’t think I could’ve handled the stress of animosity between these two groups.


Looking forward to finding out what happened!!! <3




Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 08:40 PM · For: Slytherins

HI EMILY. I wanted to congratulate you for winning a Golden Chalices award with this story! And also to thank you for all your hard work in reviewing for the HC finale this week. <3


So I reread the first few chapters to remind myself of different details in the story (I’ve forgotten a lot of different things), and I’m so excited to continue reading! You paint a really interesting situation at Hogwarts, and I’m so curious to find out how Hermione and Draco end up growing closer, because at the moment it just seems like Draco’s out to cause trouble. I wonder what he’s trying to prove, and to whom, and what it will take to change him, and I love that we’re in an AU setting so that I don’t know what’s going to happen beyond this point. It’s so imaginative! And there are a million different ways that things can go, so I’m really excited to continue. <3


I also thought that all your Slytherin OCs are incredibly interesting. (The chapter image did a wonderful job showing all of them!) I’m really glad that Hermione and Theodore are getting along well, and that she’s even met his group of friends. (It’s nice that they bonded over their dislike of Draco Malfoy and his Death Eater status hahaha, though that makes me wonder even more how in the world Hermione’s ever going to get a chance to get closer to him.) I can’t believe that some of Garrett’s first words were to tease Theo about “sleeping with Hermione,” which, hah. Definitely did not happen. I wonder if anything will happen between the two of them, though, or if they’ll remain friends?


I really liked meeting Theo’s friends! It’s really wonderful to see Gryffindor-Slytherin cooperation, even during these trying times. And I wonder what they were talking about?? Like, what was Draco doing by the greenhouses? He broke a vase last night to distract Filch, I presume, but to do what? And what ingredients did he need from the greenhouses, if any?


I hope we can find out soon! :D




Name: Slytherinchica08 (Signed) · Date: 30 May 2019 04:52 AM · For: Hogsmeade

Oh wow, now that's quite the ending to the chapter and I can definitely say that I was not expecting that to happen. But of course it had to happen and had to make Draco look even more guilty which for me makes me know that it couldn't be him. I mean I doubt that Draco would be that stupid to kill someone right after he was seen fighting with them in public. But what I am thinking is that it also makes Theo seem guilty in my mind. He was the last person to see him alive so Theo could've easily poisoned him or something else to continue trying to point everything towards Draco. He also says Dark Lord earlier in the chapter which I believe is usually the term used by Death Eaters where as everyone else either says Voldemort or He Who Should Not Be Named. So does this mean that Theo is actually a Death Eater? Really before the ending I was already wondering if Theo was a Death Eater from that whole slip up. 


I am very curious by Draco in this chapter. He finally got to talk to Hermione and while it wasn't what I thought he was going to talk to her about it was still interesting. But I also wonder what exactly he thinks that he really accomplished from that talk? In the long run it will still help him, at least in terms of Hermione believing he didn't do it. She already seemed to be wondering why he would possibly start a fight right after telling her he just wants to get through the school year which would do the exact opposite of what he wants. 


This chapter was very heavy towards speach and not as much description as in past chapters which at first felt a little odd to me. The chapter was still wonderful so don't get me wrong there, it was just very jarring to go from chapters with a lot more description to very little. It was a very fast read I felt and was very enjoyable though. I look forward to reading the next chapter!



Author's Response:

Hi Erica!

Thank you for reviewing another chapter! :D  The ending of this chapter is very much the crux of this novel. Suddenly, everything is so much more serious. And Hermione definitely has to assess what she knows of Draco and whether she believes anything he's told her.

As for your suspicions of Theo...well, I suppose you'll have to keep reading to find out! He definitely has a background with the Death Eaters through his dad, but his own loyalties seem more fluid, right?

I hadn't noticed that this chapter was so speech-heavy. I'll go through it again to see if I can soften that at all. Thanks for the note!

And thank you again for all of your comments and compliments!


Name: Slytherinchica08 (Signed) · Date: 24 May 2019 04:21 AM · For: Carnival

AH my poor heart, Draco's poor heart. How could Hermione do this to him? Well I guess with a handsome and wonderful guy like Theo currently I can see how she would do this especially since Draco is really only just starting to show his good side to her. But be still my heart because it swooped during their polite conversation and then you went and shattered it! I dont know if I can forgive you for this Emily. 

Okay my dramatics aside, this chapter was really wonderful. I do adore the interactions between Theo and Hermione and he definitely seems protective of her but I wonder if there was a bit of foreshadowing and maybe he will somehow end up hurting her in the end? It's too soon to be sure but it could definitely go that way. But for the time being their friendship and now blooming relationship is really cute and I do enjoy seeing it. He is a very thoughtful guy so far but of course my vote is for Draco and the two just need to get together. 

I enjoyed all of the description in this chapter but I think the thing that really stole the spotlight for me in this chapter other than Draco was actually Ron, which I feel like is really wierd saying since this is a Dramione and a lot of people tend to make him out to be some awful guy. But this chapter really played to his strengths. His childlike energy and excitement over all that he accomplished was really fun to read and brought a smile to my face. I also felt like all of the other characters in this chapter were really well portrayed even if they only had small lines. 

It was fun to see Hermione transition during this chapter as well. We watched her go from freaking out over every detail, making sure that everything was perfect, to a slightly more calm version as she realized all the pieces were actually coming together and maybe they were really pulling this all off. And then to the final version of excitement and feeling proud over actually knowing that they really did pull it off and that everyone was actually enjoying themselves and taking their minds off of the war and the strange events going on at Hogwarts that year. 

I'm curious to see how Hermione and Theo's relationship will end up playing out. Will they quickly realize that maybe they are best meant to be friends or will one of them mess up and harm their relationship and friendship? And we already know that Draco is clearly not excited about this new development and I feel like maybe he was the real writer of the note for Hermione and maybe he hoped to talk to her a little more than what was shown. Maybe he had intended to come in and swoop her off of her feet? But I'm curious about what he might do next. Will he try to create his own friendship of sorts with Hermione or act like a scorned lover who was never a lover in the first place? 

Each chapter you write has me begging to continue reading so I can find out more about your characters and all of this mysteriousness that is happening at Hogwarts. Who is really behind eveyrthing? Are things getting better, or is this just the calm before the bigger storm? All I can say is that I'm glad there are more chapters posted so that I can continue reading and don't have to wait for the next installment. Really great chapter! 


Author's Response:

Hi Erica!!

Thank you so much for coming by to read and review! I'm so glad that you liked the chapter! I know it's hard to watch the slow burn play out, but I promise it will be worth it. Draco's frustration right now is understandable though. He's done a pretty bad job of explaining himself to Hermione, and now there are even more obstacles in his way.

Your compliments on my characterization of Ron mean the world to me! He's so difficult for me to write, and I'm so happy to hear that you liked him in this chapter!

Finally, I'm really glad that the relationship between Theo and Hermione is interesting to you! I know it doesn't quite fit with a traditional Dramione story, but I hope it starts to make sense and you see where I'm going with it.

Thank you again for all of your comments and compliments! You're the best!


Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 22 Jan 2019 03:42 AM · For: A Place to Hide

Hello for one final time tonight!


This is the final posted chapter, so this will be my final review for the magical menagerie and gryffindor red vs gold review battle january 2019. That said, can you please post some more soon? Pretty please? I need to know what happens next.


I'm sad to see that Theo is cutting Hermione out to deal with his grief. I mean I know that some people just need to be alone and to think, but hse just wants to help him. I guess technically they don't really have a realtionship yet, but I still think she could offer him some comfort.


ooh. I like how you incorporated the RAB locket bit into this story. That definitely keeps the story progressing along.


I'm glad that Hermione finally spoke to Theo. I know he won't get better right away, but maybe the gentle nudge will help him to open up to her a bit. I know Hermione is a bit concerned about not having been asked to be his girlfrend, but I imagine that's the farthest thing from his mind right now. Besides, usually you don't just go on a single date with someon and end up boyfriend and girlfriend. It's normal to date more casually for a bit first.


Draco sure is a sad, mopey guy in this. I suppose I should feel sorry for him, but ultimately I don't. I kind of feel like he made his bed, now he should lie in it. Trying to kill Dumbledore is something I just feel like you can't immediately return from. With all the weird things happening, no one has any reason to believe it isn't him.


I'll be looking forward to reading the next chapter when it's posted. Good work!



Author's Response:


I'm so happy to finally be finishing responding to your amazing reviews! And you'll be happy to know that I have another chapter that I'll be posting in the next 24 hours! And it somehow grew by 1400 words during my editing process—oops!

I'm so sorry for pulling the rug out from under you with Theo! They were just getting close when all of this with Hart happened, and it's definitely changed how they relate to each other, which is really hard. And Hermione does hold some preconceived notions of what it means to date someone. But you're absolutely right that there's just so much more going on now.

As for Draco...ahh. He is tough to like in the beginning of this story. He really is self-pitying. You're totally right that he made a lot of bad choices...but then you also have to look at it from his point of view. He was 16 when he became a Death Eater. How many of us were fully logical then? But he is going to start thinking more maturely and evaluating how he wants to be seen and what he wants his future to look like. I hope you'll stick around to see how that changes your opinions of him!

Finally, thank you so much for mentioning that you like the Horcrux hunt in this! I'm always worried that it's kind of an after-thought to all of the drama going on in Hogwarts in this story, but it is a big part of Deathly Hallows, and I didn't want to completely throw it out. I think I've incorporated it in kind of awkward ways, but I'm glad you like that it is there.

Thank you again for all of your reviews so far! You're the best!


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