Mary Macdonald is one of my favorite canon characters to ship with Sirius Black. (Though, now that I think about it, there aren't actually that many Marauders Era characters to begin with.) I probably feel that way because the stories written for Sirius/Mary are so good.
I enjoyed the extra little fairytale explaining the origin of the Grim. I'm assuming you came up with that one on its own, because I've never heard anything like it before. Even if you didn't, it was told/written very well. It had that mysterious, magical, haunting feeling that all fairytales should be.
(Mary is me. I am Mary. If I lifted my head to kiss the guy I like, I would somehow manage to be bleeding all over myself afterwards as well.)
I can't get over the fact that Sirius resembles the Grim. What an awesome Animagus form to have.
I will get all these reviews caught up with some day :P.
Ahh, see one of my favorite female characters to ship Sirius with is Marlene McKinnon--this was the first time I'd attempted to pair him with Macdonald, but I really quite liked the ship. Yes, I made up the 'origin story' about the Grim (tried to change it from an omen of death to a warning instead--it lightened the mood a bit and gave me an excuse to write a "manhunt"). :D Hahahaha! I really didn't want to have a perfect first kiss, and I've written Sirius before as a bad kisser but didn't want to head in that direction. I'm not completely certain why but in the moment I thought that if I were to break my nose while trying to kiss some guy, that would be completely mortifying, so let's make the character experience that. :P
Thanks so much for the awesome review!
So I thought it was time that I check out some more of your writing! woo! So I thought the set up for this story was really cool! Did you come up with that little backstory for the grim or research from somewhere else? either way I really enjoyed it! It's a really interesting concept to set up the story that they need to find 'Mary'.
I thought Mary's thought process especially when she was remembering the attack on her was really strong and came across really clearly. I really liked how you used an event that we know happens in canon and weaved into this story! I feel for Mary how worried she was though she was trying to be strong. I thought the appearance of the 'grim' was awesome! I loved how you tied into harry who also mistakes Sirius for the grim, cute little nod. I enjoyed your characterisation of Sirius how 'cool' he is when it finds her.
I thought the fact that the first kiss messed up was really good, I felt it added a whole other side to the story which really gave worked for me. It stopped the story being quite so 'cutesy', I really enjoyed that. Again, I really felt for Mary's embarrassment like breaking your nose while trying to kiss your crush could happen to anyone right?! I think the way you've chosen to set this piece in the 2nd person really works because Mary's emotions feel a lot rawer.
I do really like fluff so I was a sucker for the last scene. I feel that Mary really deserved it after everything. I did go 'awww' at it. I've noticed this in other things that I've read from you but you have some beautiful description. I thought Mary's thoughts and reaction to the kiss. It was just amazingly done, it really stands out in this piece. this is the stand out line in the piece for me because I thought it's just wonderful 'the bees from your stomach cascaded through your body, tingling in your fingers and buzzing through your hearts'
note: I love the title so much, it's so clever and cute.
- Abbi xo
I had a little plunny about the backstory for a while, but never really had the chance to use it. As I was piecing the plot together for this challenge, it seemed like an appropriate opportunity to use it. I'm glad that you liked it; I was afraid that changing the grim into more of a warning prognostic rather than a laid-in-stone prophetic omen would be ill-received (but it allowed me to keep a common theme that I like to incorporate into my writing that fate is changeable).
Heh, yeah, I didn't want the perfect first kiss so I thought a broken nose might be a nifty counterbalance :P. I'm so happy to hear that you liked the characterizations, thanks so much! And I'm also glad you enjoyed the story!
Thanks for the lovely review!
Hello, Rumpel! Here for our swap! :)
You know me, I can't resist a good Marauders story, so I had to pick this one...
And, Merlin, am I happy that I did! From the summary I was expecting something tragic (I crearly didn't pay too much attention to genres and stuff...), instead I got this super fluffy, super adorable thing! Aww, how cute! I'm grinning so widely! :D
I loved the legend of the Grim, it's a story that I can totally imagine being passed down from generation to generation and it's sort of sweet in its tragical way... I love the idea that the Grim is not much of a Omen and more of a warning.
Honestly, I think Dumbledore didn't think it through very well... You know some of your students have questionable morals, you know Mary is Muggleborn and has already been assaulted previously, still you choose her for a manhunt? Not the wisest choice, honestly... anyway...
I loved that Sirius saved her as Padfoot and that she actually thought he was the Grim. :P And I loved the scene when he "finds" her in the cupboard. All their interactions were so great and so perfect and believable (Sirius is just so Sirius) and I loved how you wrote it all, the descriptions, all of Mary's emotions... also, I think your use of second person was so perfect for this! Just great!
And then she was going to kiss him and I was like, "Yes, girl! Go!" and instead the collision happened and I felt so bad for Mary... how embarrassing, poor thing... :(
But then the next scene made me so happy, with Sirius going to look for her and telling her how awesome she is (well, with a questionable choice of words, but that's Sirius) and kissing her for real this time... aww... did I already say adorable? Because it was, absolutely, utterly adorable! :D
Guess I've made my point that I adored reading this. Sometimes you just need some fluff and this was so, so good!
Thank you for the swap and for making me smile!
I had absolutely no idea what to write for this challenge [but, let's face it, I generally have no idea what to write for any challenge]. I am much more comfortable writing in action/adventure and dark/horror genres but I'm trying to work on romance and fluff so hopefully, I did alright with it. This was my second attempt at a character exploration on Mary Macdonald and I did a complete 360 on her characterization [the last exploration occurring through a novel that will never see the light of day again].
I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU AWW'd! :D
Dumbledore was certainly my scapegoat in the lets-make-this-plot happen idea. I have very little connection to Dumbledore's characterization and I seem to lean on the not-thinking-things-through bit quite a lot [something I need to add to my checklist of things to work on].
I love second person probably a little too much but I'm extremely glad you liked it in this. It was almost the perfect time for a kiss, but I wanted to toss a wee bit of drama into the mix so I thought a bloodied nose might be fun. I'm so happy you found this adorable!
Thanks so much for the swap and the amazingly sweet review!
So I had planned to browse through all your stories before choosing one, but I saw this straight away and there was no way I could pass it!
And already I'm like yass good name, good name!
Oh my goodness I absolutely LOVE the origin behind the Grim, and that it came from something with good intentions (even though the story is really sad.) I never really thought about the omen as being a warning, and if I remember right, I don't think that's how it's introduced in the novel either, so I really like how you've done that. I also really really like how it became a game that required the houses to work together to honour it.
HAHA oh no! How awkward! I seriously loved that scene though, how Mary thought she saw the Grim and decided to kiss Sirius so she didn't have any regrets. Even though Sirius is the 'Grim' hehe.
"I want to kiss you, Mary Macdonald. Without breaking your nose, preferably." Hahahaha I love this!
EEEEE! I loved this so much oh my goodness. The perfect amount of awkwardness and nerves and happiness of a first kiss :D and the beginning is wonderfully Halloween-y, too, which is appropriate :P
Good luck in the challenge! xx
Helllloooooooooooooooooooo, lovely! <3
SO! This challenge was escaping me a bit (I'm hella nervous about writing anything borderline "romantic", and kisses are no exception, but I'm trying to work on it), so hopefully that didn't translate across in the writing too much...
No, in the books it's introduced as something dark and evil, so I spun it around a little bit for funsies! As I was trying to figure out how in the heck I was going to get these two characters to smooch, feeling the desperate need to concoct some sort of pseudo-plot, and with Halloween around the corner, this sort of fell into my lap. I first thought of the idea of a manhunt, but there needed to be a reason! Then, I was like, OH IT'S HALLOWEEN...some sort of tradition, but what?! Then with Sirius' animagus form .... eh, you can see where I'm going :P.
Yay for awkward! I didn't want it to be a perfect first kiss because mine sure as heck wasn't. Teenagers are hormonal and awkward creatures, so I"m super stoked that that came across :D.
Thank you so much for the swap and the super amazing lovely review!