It's me again. I'm back to check out another one of your stories, and I have to say, I'm really excited about this one. You see Sirius Black might just be my favourite Harry Potter character, so I can't wait to see how you write him. Also, I like stories that focuses on his friendship with James, Lily and the other marauders, so this story just sounds like the perfect story for me! But enough about that. Let's start reading!
Omg. I can already tell from the nightmare that you've gotten Sirius character just right. The dream was so dark and emotional, and it really played on some of Sirius' insecurities. And you know, I've always felt like one of his biggest fear is being alone (which is said because we know he will end up being alone for many years), and at this point in his life - when he's just run away from home and moved in with the Potters - I can definitely understand why he'd be especially afraid of this. He doesn't have a family anymore - or at least not a blood-related one - and even though they might not have been the best family, they're still his family, so I can imagine that I wasn't easy for him to leave them like he did. Especially Regulus, who I've always felt like he did have a close relationship with before he ran away and Regulus died. And the scene at platform with Regulus and his parents was so emotional too. My heart really broke for Sirius.
But I'm so glad he has the Potter. And omg. I love the Potters! They really are the family that Sirius deserves. So much love, warmth and compassion - it makes me happy to think he had a chance to experience that before everything went terribly wrong and he was wrongfully imprisoned. I'm also happy to see his friendship with Lily and the other marauders. Lily just seems like she's so warm, kind and compassionate, and it doesn't surprise me at all to see her being the one that helps Sirius when he's struggling. I'd like to think they had a very close friendship, and I think you did a great job with capturing some of that. Also, you did a great job with James and Sirius' friendship too. Both characters were very believable, and you really got the sense that these two were best friends.
So yeah, great job! I really loved it! Thanks for sharing!
Author's Response: Oh my gosh, Lotte! I have been HORRIBLE about responding to reviews this year. I think I have like...25 that I haven’t answered. And a lot of them are from you; so look for my replies soon (I promise!). First of all, you are so sweet. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my stories and provide such lovely feedback. You are so phenomenal and your reviews are so in-depth. For this story in particular: Writing the Marauders is always so tough for me since I almost always still to the Hogwarts and Reconstruction periods. But I really enjoyed the challenge I undertook to write this story, and I am so glad that you liked how it turned out! It was fun to explore some of these relationships and friendships, especially Lily and Sirius’s. I think we forget that her parents must have passed away before she and James died or Harry likely would have gone to them. So I think she’d probably experienced great loss and loneliness too. Thank you again for reading! I adore you. :) Emily
Hey, Emily! I'm here for the Hufflepuff review swap! It was about time that I visited your AP, hopefully I'll remember to stop by more often... :P
I had no idea what to pick, so I went for something Marauders... :P I really, really enjoyed reading this! :)
Poor Sirius... it broke my heart to see him so hurt... I just want to hug him tight, the poor kid... :(
The dream was so unsettling and so emotional. I can't even begin to imagine how it must be to be hated and abused by your own family, to the point where you feel safer just leaving that family behind your back... it's so unbelievably sad... and at the same time, Sirius craves for that family, for their affection and consideration and love, and that's such a natural feeling and I feel so bad for him...
I loved, loved, loved the Potters! So sweet and caring! The idea that James' Mum thought of Sirius as a "victim" of his son's mischievous schemes made me chuckle, it was such an adorable thing to include. :) And this sentence: When he had first come to the Potters', he was afraid he would feel constricted by how much they cared about him, but instead he just felt loved...and that was a feeling he didn't know how to put into words. This was such a sweet and lovely thought, I'm just so happy that Sirius has found people who genuinely care for him.
The moment when he saw Regulus at the platform, accompanied by their parents... that was so hard to read. Your descriptions were stunning, btw. The way you compared that scene to the dream... it was just brilliantly done and so, so painful! And the way Sirius keeps putting on a brave face for his friends, but the thought of his family is always there, dragging him down... I'm so glad he met Lily in the end, and that her showing sympathy for him was what made him ultimately realize that he wasn't alone, that he was surrounded by tons of people who loved him and cared about him, even if those who should have by blood weren't... And btw, I loved his memories of when Regulus was a little child and he still looked up to him and they were still close. I've always thought that they loved each other and that they were close, especially as children, and I love that you showed that here, even if in this moment Sirius needs to turn the page.
This was just wonderful, I loved it so much!
Snowball hug, darling!
Thank you so much for reviewing for me! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply! I'm swamped in real life at the moment.
I'm so happy that you liked this story! I almost never write for the Marauders, so this was a relatively new experience back when I wrote it. I enjoyed it though, and I'm happy that you did too! I really think of Sirius and Regulus as very close, and it makes me so sad to think of what they lost when Sirius had to leave home and Regulus fell in with the Death Eaters. But I do think that being with the Potters probably did quite a bit to heal Sirius's pain and loss after he left home.
Thank you for all of your compliments and comments. I'll talk to you soon! :)
I loved this, and I'm so surprised no one else has reviewed it! As a side note, this story was uploaded on my birthday. I'm going to pretend that's a sign. This was simply meant to be.
Anyway. Sirius Black is one of my favorite characters, and I love stories that explore his bonds with his friends and compare it to his family. His circumstances are so hard, but he's such a strong character.
I think you got his voice down perfectly with how I imagine him when he and James are talking to each other. How the nightmare put in that doubt that even if he had friends, they wouldn't understand. And it's true. They can't understand exactly, but that doesn't make Sirius alone. They don't have to understand to support him.
The writing itself felt very natural. I could read it without effort. The only thing that slowed me down was the part when you mentioned the other marauder's by their full names, which feels out of place since this is Sirius' POV, even though it's not in first person. In the same vain you probably don't have to outright mention that James is his best friend when identifying him at the beginning.
James' parents both seemed like such nice people. I'm going to have to check out the story you mentioned you based them from. Telling his parents what Sirius likes just seems like such a James thing from what we know of him. I love the entire family dynamic, short as it is.
The part when they arrive at King's Cross is so sad. Seeing his brother standing there and remembering what Regulus was like when younger was heartbreaking. The fact that his parents never showed up for him must have stung.
The fact that it was Lily that talked to him was nice, and I like how you added some background about her parents. I don't think that's canon, but it made her stand out more as well.
Overall this is great, and feels really in character. I don't think you have anything to worry about when it comes to characterization, so don't worry about that at all!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy that you liked this story! I so rarely write for the Marauders, so it was a challenge to do this, but I'm really happy that you think I've pulled it off!
You are totally right about the oddness of referring to the Marauders by their full names. I'd completely missed that, but will absolutely be editing it in the future. Thank you for pointing it out!
I really appreciate all of your compliments on the characterization and writing. It made my day to know that you enjoyed the story so much! Thank you again, and have a happy new year!