Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 19 May 2018 08:37 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Halls of Hogwarts Chapter: Say A Prayer

Oh my goodness, my heart! This is so sad! 


I didn't realize it was Ted Tonks until I read your author's note, either, so now I'm extra sad. :( 


But, that aside, it is really interesting and I like how you wrote it! I think it's really creepy that Ted doesn't have a face. I guess because his identity felt so forgotten byt the time he died? Is that it? I woul dlove to hear more of your thoughts about this story because I feel like there's a heap of nuance here.


Gosh, the terror of being on the run. Although actually, I think what hits even harder is how you capture the poverty of war. He's starving and homeless and cold and it's all just as bad as the violence, if not worse. You used a sort of pared down style that I think worked really well because Ted doesn't seem able to notice many details, but the description you do give is very captivating. Liek, I love the phrase "a naked tree".  It seems so appropriately desolate.


It's sad to think that saying Voldemort's name, which showed they were brave enough to use it, is also what led them to die. 


And holy cow that last line. Punch to the gut, honestly. I'm so sad for Ted and his family :(


If your goal was to give me sad feels, who have definitely succeeded! :P


Nice work!


Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 02 Dec 2017 11:50 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Halls of Hogwarts Chapter: Say A Prayer



So this is quite a unique way to go about telling the Second Wizarding War, by having the Next Generation look back on it. I really liked the mood-setting with Melinda looking at all the headstones--those who died in 1998 in battle. And then, the next month, watching the man who didn't die in battle, but is disconnected from the world around him, who had died long before the Battle of Hogwarts began. 


The perspective change is quite nice, to the man fleeing from Voldemort once the Ministry had been overthrown. Funnily enough, he blamed the Snatcher's arrival on the weight of Voldemort's name, and I love the connection given to the reader of being able to hold his baby girl for the first time but being unable to give birth to his granddaughter. It's rather sad.  And then of course the final skirmish with the Snatcher before succumbing to his death--it's quite brutal.


This was such a dark piece, I loved it! Your use of imagery was extremely well done, my favorite, of course, is the nod to thunder during a snowstorm to represent the Snatchers. The level of hopelessness and despair that the man was feeling screamed through the writing and I love the way it was presented!


Excellent job



Author's Response: Hi there Rumpels, You were able to take away much from what I'd written that it almost felt foreign to me because I didn't think it was written well enough. I'm glad the intent of the story came through as despite me saying it's not well-written, Say a Prayer is by far my personal favorite of my fanfics and reading your wonderful review means a lot. Thank you for reading and leaving a review! June

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