Hey Rumpels I’m here for our swap and the EvS Battle for Team Silver
I love the originality of this story, and the view point was really interesting. I think what I like most about it is how I've never really read much that is like it. I've definitely never read a reverse the horcrux for tom riddle story before, and I was hooked immediately.
I'm giggling over Toms eyes full of humour. That's a great line xD
I think the story flowed really well and that you captured a terrific way of talking about this new Tom. I feel like you made him even creepier in a sense, and I like how you showed certain things when he spoke with the Speaker of the story.
I like the Speaker a lot I find her interesting and entertaining.
You did a really great job with this story and I hope to read some more of your work soon!
Wifey!! Here for our swap. I’m reviewing as I’m reading, so please excuse me if my thoughts are all over the place.
Ok, so already I have a bad feeling. And I think the main reason is because the narrator is talking TO me. Like, it’s like I’m this trainee, which I’m sure is the point of your narration lol. So that’s an obvious observation. But anyhoo. The narrator is SUPER confident, which is why I feel like this is going to go really poorly for them. I mean, it’s Tom heckin’ Riddle.
I’m loving this style of narration, by the way. The way the narrator is speaking to me, I’m giggle, but also want to slap them at the same time. My god I love this already.
Although, I’m not loving the fact that I’m behind this magic wall, and I’m sure I’m going to see all heck break loose. I just have a feeling. Wifey! Hold me!
Oh here comes the session. And yeeeah, probably better to let Tom. Heckin’. Riddle. feel like he’s in control. Definitely for your benefit, my dear. Ha! “allowing” him to believe he’s in control. Okay. Keep telling yourself that Sofia-Diana. XD
Oh my goodness. He’s seeing Harry everywhere. Either he’s snapped, or he’s pretending he’s snapped. But the blood pudding one cracked me up.
Oh Lordy, darling. I fear that he’s taken a liking to you, and “enjoys” your sessions for very nefarious reasons. I feel like her over confidence is going to be her downfall. All of this, even with the humor, had a very foreboding atmosphere. Should I be reading this right before bed?
“Tom has an army of colored paper circles, about the size of an extended hand, that he has been collecting since his arrival here.” Okay, this worried me. With his history of collecting things when he does something terrible. The things at the orphanage, and more importantly, his Horcruxes. *hides*
Omg she’s basically Umbridge lol.
Ooooh boy. He’s screaming at those paper circles. I love how you’re describing his need for control, and showing what he had probably done with his Death Eaters; dictating who could marry who, and killing one for defying him. It’s such dark humor. I love it!
My god, Wifey. I’m sure a Tom Riddle smile has to be super chilling, and it’s just nothing to her! Of course he wouldn’t realize that she’s giving him a common Muggle psychology test. And of course he would see himself before anything else. Megalomaniac that he is.
Holy sweet mother of Merlin! What was that?! Is he honestly seeing their wedding night, and children, and whatever the heck else that was!? And then he KISSED her! I’m dying! XD
Oh this is not good. This is not good at all. What is his plan?? Tom wants her, I think. I’m pretty sure. And we all know whatever Tom wants, Tom makes sure he gets, through whatever means necessary. People are going to heckin’ die.
Oh no! I’m dead! And yes, I blame her for my death! It was her arrogance that got all of these people killed. She honestly thought she could help Tom, even with her spouting that these people were beyond help.
Oh. My. God. That ending. Oh my god. That was so super chilling! Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have read this before bed. Nightmares. My god. And WHAT WAS WITH THE PAPER CIRCLES?!
Wifey! This was amazing. Like really funny, but horribly scary and also completely insane at the same time. I loved every second of this!
Amazing writing, as always. I love you and I love your words! Thank you for the swap, my beautiful butterfly, angel, ray of sunshine, light of my life!
OMGosh, this was seriously one of THE MOST interesting pieces of fanfiction that I have EVER read, lol!! I absolutely loved the way that you used the first person narrative to place the reader inside the mind of the narrator of this fic!! SO MUCH!!! (Maybe it’s because her and I have similar names, lol!) *wink* Or maybe it’s because I really (albeit shamefully) can somewhat relate to her desire for praise, her lust for success, and her need for admiration from her peers? Idk what it is about her exactly, but she certainly does seem to have some very Slytherin-esque motivators, career-wise. And even if her motives are somewhat selfish, I can totally relate to her self-preservation atics, in a way, lol. And the fact that you have made someone who is (probably) supposed to be so despicable to the normal outsider, so seemingly likable to the reader speaks volumes about your characterization in this story, Rumpels!!
The concept of Tom Riddle feeling ANY sort of remorse - and therefore wanting/trying to put his soul back together i also quite interesting as well. I really like the mental institution/hospital vibe you have setup here, and how are getting to view everything via this patient/doctor perspective. And to make things even MORE entertaining, we’re not just telling any regular audience about Tom Riddle, oh now, we’re training a new employee, haha!! That’s AWESOME!! What a way to inflate her ego even more; by giving her control over another co-worker, and delegating her with the task of training her how to do the job properly. - As is she doesn’t already have quite the high opinion of herself, lol. Not only that, but her interactions with Tom Riddle suggest that really is quite clueless as to what exactly went on during the war. Which makes me wonder how many years have passed between now and then? Because she doesn’t seem to remember just what “Tom Riddle” is actually capable of, and that’s dangerous on her part.
OMG - NO!!!! EEEWWWW!!!!! *hides* I was sooo NOT ready for that slythery kiss, lolol!!!! XD
Okay. Now that I’ve recovered, wow. Your Tom is really quite something else, isn’t he?!? I absolutely LOVE the way that you’ve written him in this, Rumpels!! He’s so crazy, and manipulative, and… seductive?? In an evil/scary/masterful genius kind of way, if that makes sense, lol. I think that the whole inkblot scene was one of my favorites, and I personally enjoyed the addition of Voldemort’s army of colored paper dots!! That is just SOO creative!!! OMGosh, what could Tom possibly be thinking about doing now?? He will find a way to do WHAT exactly?!? This cannot be anything good…
Annndd, there you have it. My point about her underestimating/not understanding what Tom Riddle was capable of has been confirmed, lol!! Had she known more about what he was capable of, she would NOT have gone in there all alone, regardless of whether Harry Potter had been reported to be on scene or not. But she just charges in, like, YOLO!!! With zero regard for her own safety, again, because she seems to be so certain that nothing could possibly ever go wrong. She is just SO sure of herself, and SO smug in the fact that she can do NO wrong all throughout this fic, and look wtf THAT got her, lol!! Now everyone is dead, including me, lmao!!! XD (Wait. Am I the trainee, or was I the Narrator there... Now I’m having an existential crisis as well, lolol!!!) =P
Well, whoever I am, I have seriously enjoyed reading this fic again, haha!! It is like the fic that keeps on giving, honestly, and I feel like I am discovering something new about this story every time I read it!! This is one of my absolute favorite things that you have ever written, Rumpels, and I love that you have updated this piece and added in all the new bits and pieces to it to make it even better!! I really enjoyed this writing style, and I hope that you will continue to explore this kind of writing again some time!! =D
~Deana (Magical Menagerie: Round 3)
It is an unique experiment using Rorchacha inkblot test blended with Tom Riddle's maniacal character. The protagonist seems to be a kind of expert as the mental analyst in the Wizarding World. Your writing style is interesting, the protagonist talks to her disciple or apprentice reporting education of Tom. I was thrilled at the mind game between Tom and the protagonist.
The concept of the colored circles sounds very original or quite genius, Rumpel! Tom's obsession is definitely getting power even after Harry Potter and his friends destroyed his horcruxes.
I enjoyed Tom's interpretation around the inkblots. I feel for 'Diana', oh no, he found out she didn't love him. Yes, readers can guess what was coming in the end, but a question is not answered yet. Did you kill Harry Potter?
@ Magical Menagerie 2, Team Griffin
i'm not sure if i would call this horror or humour or a weird combination of both, but while the ending is certainly dark and horrific, i thought that the story leading up to it was really funny. voldemort who has shown true remorse? i can imagine that he actually went crazy from defeat, shown remorse just to get his soul back and then went crazy again because of all the remorse. because, honestly, smiling eyes and wanting to be called tom indicate to me that he's really gone off the deep end, not to mention his little (big) army of paper circles!
the way in which you've written this is very interesting in the sense that the narrator is extremely unlikable and we, as readers, are forced to read all her nasty thoughts directed at her intern. i think she's actually mad as well, or just has a huge superiority complex, much like voldemort, not to see what's actually going on with him. the whole part with voldemort looking at the inkblots had me chuckling - i actually thought he was purposefully saying these outrageous things just to get a rise out of the narrator (and the guards and the intern who were looking in).
i know this was sort of a parody but still, you made me connect and feel for the characters even if it just means i hate both the narrator and voldemort and i liked reading it - the whole idea is truly original and creative. and it was funny and like horror in the end but what can we expect from voldy?
*Transferred from HPFF*
First of all, let me just say that I love the way you've formatted this story. I really love the way you've used "excerpts" from the article. The syntax in these two paragraphs really adds that non-fictiony feel to the entire thing. And the narrator's voice is actually really lovely so far as well - they sounds so peeved!
I'm just giggling away at the mental images here! The narrator sounds like a person who goes around wearing one of those white lab coats and ridiculously shiny black leather shoes and is always in a really bad mood all the time because they think they're the best thing to happen to the world since penicillin but their sheer brilliance is never appreciated.
Ah! The way you've written this! I could just go on and on and on - but I won't because character limits. I just love all these asides that the narrator directs at the readers. It really gives them a personality and strangely the readers as well. I'm sure I don't fall over that much, but whilst I'm reading this, I feel like I should, just to remain in character.
Haha, of course Tom needs to control the situation! He's the Dark Lord! This scene really reminds of that one time in OotP when the trio bump into Gilderoy Lockhart, and he's still lost his memory, but his personality is basically the same. It seems that all villains in rehab go through the same stages!
The paper... has thoughts? With which Tom can communicate? Are the trees from where the paper came talking to him? Should I be concerned that the contents of my waste paper basket have conscious thought?
There's more than one person in the room with a superiority complex, I'm afraid! I love how patronising the narrator is. They actually remind me a lot of Umbridge in that way. One of the most annoying things about her was that she was so condescending in her complete and utter belief that she was right and everyone else was wrong.
Okay, Tom is weird, but I still think his therapist is weirder. Inkblots are strange things that look like nothing but inkblots to me. I had a little giggle at the wedding night one, though! And Tom is starting to sound more and more like the plot of an episode from Criminal Minds which is just fantastic, because I love that show.
Okay, even more and more like a Criminal Minds episode but where - PLOT TWIST - the baddie is in fact our wonderfully kooky narrator. I think I just fell in love even more!
Okay, so I just finished, and I just loved it. It was like watching the trailer for a horror film, where you don't actually know that it's a horror film, so everything starts out all great and wonderful, but then BAM and the silly person who left the group to find out why the lights had gone off turns up dead somewhere and all chaos ensues, and then just at the climax -
Thank you so very much for taking the time to transfer your review, dear! It was like reading a new review all over again, which was extremely fun! This is one of my more favorite horror pieces that I've written, so it meant a lot to read your review <33.
Okay, so I thought to read something else by you and this had been nominated for story of the month so I thought to give it a look...
Wow, this was definitely creepy! I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but this ending was really unexpected and terrifying (I mean Tom breaking free and causing all the massacre, not the killing of Maggie... I have to confess, I think she sort of deserved it... okay, that's cruel of me...)
The style was so interesting, I love how she's always addressing the trainee, the me and you approach. Her stubborness and arrogance were so well done too, and Tom's insanity... It was almost hilarious at times... the way he commanded the coloured circles and his interpretation of the inkblots... actually, that was a bit creepy, she should have caught the signs...
This was really so interesting, a bit weird maybe but I loved it and your writing really captured me from the start to the end, it flows so perfectly.
Brilliant job on this!
Yes, this is an absolutely creepy story, full of experimental-style. I was given a prompt for this one, but I can't remember exactly what it was (something to do with AU and Tom Riddle/Voldemort). Maggie was meant to be an unreliable [and unliked] character, so it's totally okay to feel some ill feelings towards her. I was aiming at a dark comedy so I'm glad that you found the meant-to-be funny parts funny :). If she was anywhere as decent at her job as she let on to be, you're right, she should have caught the signs wayyy before then. Glad you liked it! Thanks so much for another wonderful review! <3
*Transferred from HPFF*
Hello there! I'm here with your review request from the forums!
Wow, I love the way this starts out, almost as an academic presentation. (At first I thought the speaker was Voldemort giving a speech, but then Voldemort was mentioned. But I like the way it starts with the uncertainty.) The narrator is really interesting! I love the perspective and it's very original, the way the story is dictated to an intern.
Crup-eat-crup world :P I like it.
I am so intrigued by this incarnation of Voldemort. Eyes full of humour? He likes to be called Tom? Either he has changed a lot, or Sofia/Maggie is a little crazy. The idea of Voldemort feeling remorse at all is so interesting. WAs it real remorse, or is he just faking to accomplish his goals?
I can't imagine Maggie (yeah, I know that's not her actual name, but that's what she's called for the majority of the story so that's what I'll call her) likes her job at all. Voldemort made some moves on her. Ew. Her thoughts towards the now dead intern were kind of sad - at the end Maggie has got some sort of superiority going on as well.
I LOVE the ending, that last line. It's absolutely perfect.
So overall thoughts - I think this flowed really well, and the perspective was great, I think that was a really neat way to tell the story. The only thing I'm left a bit confused about is characterization. I'm left wondering how Voldemort turned into this person - I assume it was just because of the missing pieces of his soul that Harry had destroyed, but maybe Maggie has more insight on this as the person who is studying him?
Voldemort, although I'm not sure how he ended up the way he did, is well written and very eerie. I kind of like the ambiguity over whether he was remorseful at all and just went crazy and then regressed, or whether he was acting the whole time. It makes him even creepier!
Also, Maggie is very dismissive of the intern who doesn't sound like that bad of a person and I didn't know why Maggie disliked her so much. Perhaps some background there? (Again, I do like the story as is, and other people may tell you opposite things about the characters but this is just my opinion!)
Thought I'd point out a few typos as well - Clever Tom. We can't get much passed him here. (that should be "past".) And here - What are there names? (should be "their")
And I think that sums it up! Hope that was helpful and not just really rambly. What a cool idea for a story and I love the way you wrote it. Nice work! :)
Hello again :).
I like to think of it as Voldemort losing his mind due to the soul's recombination. Then, of course, his true nature comes through. Voldemort II: Back in Parseltongue, or something ;). And yes, Maggie isn't an overall good person, but I had a lot of fun writing with a character who isn't necessarily 'good'. The intern was a good person, who happened to be stuck with a crappy mentor and ultimately resulted in her death. I think I've worked out all the typos!
Thank you, thank you :D *squish*