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Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 31 Mar 2018 03:51 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Flesh of the Servant Chapter: The Flesh of the Servant

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

Heya! I'm (finally) here for the Slytherin review swap!

 

I was going to read a chapter of Everto (I'm woefully slow at reading that story - it's absolutely terrible of me), but then I saw this one, and you cannot believe the happiness it gives me. SIRIUS IS ALIVE!

 

I liked your characterisation of Peter. I kept on thinking "OMG, he's such a Slytherin. How on earth did he end up in Gryffindor?" Maybe you need a special sort of bravery to betray your friends - that takes guts, in a really twisted, sort of way.

 

I also loved how you highlighted just how much of the story would not have happened if Peter Pettigrew had not escaped that night, and find his master. Voldemort is really nothing without his followers, especially Peter. That would also mean that the story would have ended as a trilogy :P

 

Oddly, this piece had me pondering the fine line between coincidence and fate. Obviously, for the purpose of plot progression, Peter had to escape that night, so you could argue that it was fate. But the way you've written this piece highlights that a lot of it was just coincidence. Harry's stunning spell actually hit Peter, and he was doomed. Who would've thought?

 

Awesome story! Please write another, where Sirius is alive and well (I'll try and contain my inner Sirius fangirl, I promise)!



Author's Response:

Thank you again for transferring this! It feels like reading the reviews  for tuetfirst time he over again which is absolutely amazing!



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 05:54 AM · starstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Flesh of the Servant Chapter: The Flesh of the Servant

Peter Pettigrew is such a universally hated character that I can’t help try to sympathize with him (I knowwww). He made a horrifically awful decision that changed who he was for the rest of his life, but I don’t generally believe it was reflective of who he was before that, that if he had come of age outside of war that he’d get the opportunity to become a person worth knowing. I ramble, but the reason I say this is because the way you’ve written Peter here is enough for me to dismiss my general feelings about Peter for the sake of this story. You’ve made it clear that he is and always has been a rat, and you’ve done so in a way that is actually nice to read, because you’re good at words.

 

Wow, Daddy Pettigrew, way not to mention to your family that you have magic until the last possible moment.

 

There’s a strong difference in the narration of the first two sections of the story. The second, retelling Harry waking up in the hospital wing, feels very much like Rowling’s voice, and is generally objective and tells the facts. But the first is much more subjective in its definitive judgement of Peter (I’m not defending him, I’m just observing!). And then the third section feels very much from Sirius’ POV.

 

Omg Harry as not a triwizard champion? Harry as having a (hopefully) normal fourth yeaar and beyond? Egads I want it.

 

YASS victory for Cedric! Also, living for Cedric!

 

This was an interesting story. In a way it felt like a lot of exposition, but not so much in a way that was building up for something, but more laying a loose groundwork for what a different world could be. I couldn’t help but want this to be a longer story. As it was, it gave me a lot to enjoy!

 

Sam.



Author's Response:

Hiya!

 

I don't think Peter was really all that bad of a person at the beginning, but it helped me write this 'What If' prompt to bend his characterization so that he was always a coward/not a very good person. And, yes, I think you might be right that if he hadn't been caught in the war, he probably would have turned out to be a genuinely good person (not that we can necessarily paint him as 'bad', just (reasonably) cowardly in making a nobody-wins decision and then forever sucked into something he wasn't because of that decision). 

 

Yes, Harry did, ideally, have a normal fourth-year and beyond, full of regular teenage problems and no saving the world problems :P. There was, in the very original draft, two additional chapters, but it was a much different plot. I'd changed my mind about a week before this was due for a story challenge so it ended up being a much shorter piece. 

 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 24 Oct 2017 07:34 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:The Flesh of the Servant Chapter: The Flesh of the Servant

Hello, Rumpel! Here for our swap! :)

I was really uncertain about what to pick, you have some many interesting things on your AP... but then I saw this and I can't resist Peter Pettigrew's stories, so...

While this is very different from my interpretation of Peter, I really enjoyed reading this. I found so amusing the episodes of his earlier life and how he always managed to have others take take the blame and the punishment for his mischief. Some things never change, right?

I think the Hogwarts letters' scene was really funny, too. I loved his mother's panic and their neighbour's ambientalistic theories. :P

I couldn't help but smile at your description of Sirius standing in the sunlight. Now I really wish this was how things went, with Sirius and Remus having fun together like old times and Harry growing up in a happy and safe environment, without the menace of Voldemort over himself. I'm still a bit sad about Peter (can't help it, I love that little rat... yes, I know, I'm crazy...) but everyone else's happiness is definitely worth it (and he does deserve what happened to him anyway)

I really enjoyed reading this and imagining how it could have been. I really like what if stories and this was really so nice, it made me smile a lot.

Thank you for the swap!

Snowball hug,

Chiara



Author's Response:

This is one of my first fanfictions and also very early on in my character explorations. I have since changed my viewpoint on Peter Pettigrew but his characterization has been quite fitting for the plot of this particular story. I am glad that you enjoyed it although his characterization doesn't align to your headcanon :). 

 

I had all the intentions of writing this as a three-part-piece back when I was first crafting it. It was written for a What If challenge back in 2013-2014 on another site (which, of course, I love 'what if' scenarios as well, so how could I not?) and, while the first draft was a much longer, multi-chaptered story, I changed my plot near to finished. Unfortunately, with an impending challenge deadline, the story was significantly stunted as I squished it into a one-shot. I'm not unhappy with the way it turned out, but I do wish I'd had the foresight to be able to expand upon some of the scenes and moments more thoroughly.

 

Thank you so much for the lovely review and for swapping with me! It's been so much fun!

-Rumpels



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 30 Aug 2017 04:49 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Flesh of the Servant Chapter: The Flesh of the Servant

*Transferred from HPFF, where I think I must have originally typed this on my phone bc there's no punctuation, but there's so many errors that I can't be bothered to fix all of them :P ANYWAY....*

 

Review swap! I've always thought Peter is such an interesting character. I really don't like him, but he's an important character in the series, as is his cowardice - it makes him an interesting person to write. And his escape caused so much to happen, so its a really interesting story idea to see what could have happened if all had gone according to plan that day.

I liked seeing the snippets of Peter's life and how he always wanted people to look out for him and, above all, to not get caught doing things he shouldnt. It was a great attention to detail as, in this story at least, he does eventually get caught!

Aah yay Sirius is free! This is so wonderful only a little sad to read because its like what he should have had but couldn't :( Anyway, that part where you were describing him standing there with his hair flying about in the wind and enjoying freedom totally put me to mind of that scene in the Shawshank Redemption, only in the sun rather than rain as it was in the movie haha. But I digress.

Its all so happy! Harry had a normal year, Cedric won and survived the triwizard tournament, Peter didnt bring back Voldemort. Ah, I wish! This was lovely. So wonderful and happy with a touch of sadness because it didnt play out that way. Well done, and thanks for the swap! Good luck in the challenge!



Author's Response:

Aww, thanks for transferring some of your reviews over! (I have a ton of reviews that I need to transfer :P!)

Free Sirius, is a happy Sirius (well, sort of).  Thanks for the review!  



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