Hey there! I've found my here through the winter wonderland event.
I've been seeing this story mentioned a couple of times around the forum. And while I used to be a staunch opposer of AU stories, but then I fell in love with a couple of them, mostly involving the marauders being alive. Therefore, I'm beyond excited to see what you have in store. The beginning is so promising, and I'm hoping I'm going to sink into this story and fall in love with it as well.
I like this as a first chapter. It gives us a basic setting and introduces the main characters well enough without being overbearing, all while maintaining a lot of mystery which piques interesting and kept me hooked. I'm super excited to see what comes next and how you've reformed the world we know and love.
I'm also eager to see how things will work out with Neville in the spotlight and if we'll get to see a lot of him as the story progresses. I'm also wondering if the circumstances surrounding his life in this story will change his characterisation. Over all, this is a really great start. And I'm quite happy I finally got a chance to start reading your work.
I have always loved the idea of an AU where Nevile is the chosen one. My headcanon is different than what you are writing but I still love what you have thus far! I have a feeling that Jimmy might be Harry. You have a wonderful start to the story and I am certainly curious to see where this story goes.
I am wondering who this Peter Portman is and if he might be Peter Pettigrew by a different name. The only reason I think that is because the story is listed as Peter/Remus. You are honestly piquing my curiosity with this story there are so many thoughts and questions that I must have answered! I am looking forward to going to the next chapter to see what you have in store for me.
Also, I want to take a moment mention that I highly enjoy your cadence in telling the story you have a lovely tone and pace in your story. Very lovely job deary.
For the HPFT winter wonderland snow fort (friendship fics) #2
Oh wow that was such an intense christmas dinner. I really felt so bad for the Potters because Jimmy was kind of obliviously way over the line there. I don't blame Jimmy for being curious and having suspicions but there is a time and a place and... that was not it. *headdesk*
Dorea is quite the eavesdropper. She's picked up on a lot of information she probably isn't supposed to know! If she knows that Peter kidnapped Harry on his own terms and not Voldemort's orders, that means James and Lily must know that too. Which doesn't excuse what he did, but it must be better for James and Lily knowing that it was done to protect him? Of course, they still have the right to be angry about Peter not returning Harry afterward.
I really liked that last scene with Peter and his Mum because it puts everything into perspective a bit. Of course, he did have a choice in the end on whether to become a Death Eater or not, but this kind of puts into context what he had to go through and why he made the choice he did.
So yeah, things have gotten very interesting. I do hope Peter tells Jimmy the truth sometime soon because Jimmy knows too much now and it's just hurting them both to continue lying. Continuing as they are will just create more problems later on.
Great chapter!!! ♥
As I said, tactfulness is not Jimmy's biggest quality... poor Potters, that was really hard for them... :(
Yes, she is quite the eavesdropper... and yes, James and Lily know that Peter had "good" intentions, but that doesn't excuse his actions.
I'm so glad you liked the scene with Mary and that it helped putting things into perspective a bit. Peter did go through a lot and I think it's important to remember that.
Peter should totally tell Jimmy at this point, but it will probably take some more time... but yes, going on like this will only hurt them both... :(
Thank you so much for another lovely review!
Reviewing as part of the fort building for the snowball fight! (friendship theme) I'm very glad to come back to this story!
Also how timely and perfect that this chapter is called Christmas.
I love that Lily makes the wolfsbane potion for Remus. And that she owns an apothecary - it's nice to imagine that this is what she'd be doing if she had lived. It fits too, because we know she was so good at potions. And it's just like Remus to refuse a gift because he feels bad about his financial situation. I think you got the dynamic of his self-deprecating, sort of "I don't deserve nice things" behaviour perfectly, as well as Lily's generosity. I'm glad she forced him to accept the gift.
Mary is still alive!!
You've written all the Weasley siblings SO perfectly. I really enjoyed that scene. It's nice that Ron has somewhere to stay over the holiday that doesn't involve him just being alone as the rest of his dormmates went home!
It's nice that Peter tried to make Jimmy's new room as similar to the old one as he could to make it feel like home from the start.
I love that Mrs Weasley sent the classic Weasley jumper to him via owl to Peter's house and that she sent Jimmy one too! Also, Neville's gift is awesome.
Dorea is the cutest.
Omg, Mary's girlfriend is a Muggle... is this her first time seeing wizarding photographs? Haha, she's in for a surprise as it doesn't seem Lily and James hid anything wizardy about the house, it's all in the open. And she's talking about politics with Lily at Christmas dinner. Hahahaha. What an introduction XD
Wow so Christmas dinner just got a bit more awkward. Not the time to ask that, Jimmy. !!!!!!!!! But.... a fantastic end to the chapter as things have just changed a lot! THINGS ARE GOING TO GET EXCITING
Yes! Christmas chapter! Aren't those lovely? ;)
I had been wondering what Lily's job could be... I couldn't imagine her just being a housewife because it just wouldn't work with how I imagine her character. I've seen her as a Healer in some fics, but I didn't really like that either. I'm glad you liked the idea of her owning an apothecary, I did think it worked really well with her talent for Potions. :) And yes, Remus woud try to refuse her gift... it's just how he is, isn't it?
Yes, Mary is alive. :)
Ah, I'm so glad you thought I wrote the Weasleys well, I was a bit worried about it to be honest... and yes, Ron won't have to stay alone at Hogwarts for the holidays. :)
I'm happy you liked that, Peter does care a lot for Jimmy. And I'm happy you liked the Weasley jumpers, too. :)
Aww, so happy you found her cute!
Mary's girlfriend is a last minute addiction (she wasn't there before the editing), but I do love her! Yes, she hadn't seen wizarding photographs before! :P I'm glad you liked her introduction! :)
No, that wasn't the right moment, but it's Jimmy we are talking about, he isn't a champion of tactfulness... glad you are excited, though!
HERE I AM TO READ AND LOVE THIS CHAPTER. It's been way too long since I've caught up with Jimmy! I'm very glad to be back :) This is for round 2 of the review swap in the CR.
James is back at Hogwarts and he's totally going to see Harry. I mean Jimmy. Will they recognise each other?!?! I'm still surprised James hasn't put together the fact that Peter Portman is Peter Pettigrew. But he has to recognise his son..... right?
I am no fan of Snape, but I can kind of side with him here. I mean, he's literally in the middle of teaching a class and James waltzes in there and wants to talk to him this very second. It's a bit entitled of him :P Like, he can't wait ten minutes or something for Snape to have a chance?
I do like that James is trying to extend the olive branch to Snape and put their teenage rivalry behind them. Even if it's only prompted by him wanting something from Snape and that's what prompts him. But, at least it's something. He clearly still doesn't like Snape but he's trying to be civil (well... for the most part). I'm not surprised Snape wants no part of it though. :P
Ok, so now I'm beginning to think that Jimmy and Peter both have a charm to alter their appearance because Harry is said to look similar to James, and here James still doesn't notice anything... I mean, he can't be that thick. So, there's an appearance charm. (You may have already mentioned this in an earlier chapter but if you did, I forgot :P)
"And the only one I remember ever attempting murder at Hogwarts it's you." - WOW YEP THIS IS A SOLID POINT. And James may not like Snape at all but it's nice that he does trust him, based on the fact that people he trusts also trust Snape.
So Jimmy is starting to put some pieces together. Oooh, and I love that this question of Jimmy looking like Peter, which I was wondering about earlier in this review, is something you've addressed at the end of the chapter. Hermione has figured it out. I think their appearance was changed. Jimmy is going to find out that the appearance he's always seen in the mirror is not actually what he looks like. That'll be a weird experience. I can't wait to find out what Hermione has discovered and how this all turns out!
Kristin! So glad to have you back here! :)
Also, it's so nice of you to leave reviews for everyone for the second round of the review swap, you are so wonderful! *hug*
Ahahah! No, they won't recognize each other... not yet... but they are totally meeting and things are going to become complicated, as you already know... :P
It is a bit entitled of James, but what would you expect from him, especially when dealing with Snape? :P But yeah, I can see what you mean...
I think James is actually sorry for the way he treated Snape in school days, but yes, he would have probably never apologized if he didn't need Snape's help. I don't think Snape will ever accept it and I'm quite sure they'll never be friends, but maybe they'll come to respect each other at some point? (I'm asking because I don't know)
Yes, there is an appearence charm. I don't remember if I mentioned it explicitly before, but I have definitely hinted at it in some points. Anyway, yes.
Glad you liked that line in particular. I think there is a part of James that never really forgave Sirius for the Willow incident. And yes, James would trust Snape if both Lily and Dumbledore believe in him.
Yes, Jimmy is starting to put the pieces together and he's going to find out much more than he hoped to (but you already know...)
Thank you so much for the lovely review!
It's time I left a proper and offical review for this chapter :P
So the diary they all share is amazing, and such a good idea. I like that it provides an extra opportunity for them all to organise trouble :P
And Samantha! I've loved her from the start so I'm overjoyed to see more of her, especially when her Slytherin views are changing and she's slowly joining the gang! Also it's lovely that it came from spending time with Hermione.
And ooh! The Marauder's Map! Since we're seeing it so early, I wonder what other trouble Jimmy will get into with it...
So here's what I love most about Jimmy (and yes, I know there's a lot of things I love about him :P) He's technically Harry, and his time at Hogwarts is similar, but his personality is so vastly different, and it's a refreshing twist on a story we all know by heart, and he's so funny and sassy and why I love this story so much!
Argh! That ending! It's all happening right now and my heart can't take the suspense! I'm going to poke you to write so I can find out what happens!
B!!! Shake-what, my love?
So, first... thank you so, so, so much for this lovely review and for reading the chapter through for me and for catching up with the whole story! You are the bestest and I adore you!
Second. It isn't your birthday yet in my time zone, but it definitely is in yours, so... happy birthday!!! :D
Third, I'll actually answer to your review :P
I'm happy you liked the diary idea, it is quite a useful plot instrument (for me other than for the kids) and I had no idea when I introduced it. Funny, no? :P
I love Samantha too and how her friendship with Hermione is changing her. I'm still not sure which role she'll have in the long run, but for now I'm happy to have her around (as you can see, I'm a great planner...)
I was a bit doubtful about introducing the Map so early, to be honest, but Fred and George insisted... could I tell them no? Ah, Jimmy will get into a lot of trouble, with or without the Map. ;)
Ahahah! I know you love that about him! He does remind a bit of Magnus Chase... :P Well, I guess growing up in a completely different environment would give him a quite different personality as well, wouldn't it? He's still Harry, though. Like, he has the same sense of justice and will to solve things on his own and rescuing mania... some things stay the same in every universe. ;)
Ahahah! Well, I'm already working on the next three chapters (even if I'm not 100% happy with them) so you'll find out soon, because you are my (un)official beta...
Thank you so much again! Love thee!
WELL HELLO THERE
"Hermione! It's Quidditch!" the two boys cried in unison, -- I love this. For all their bickering, they have the same reaction when Hermione tries to stop them. :P I think they'd get on quite well if they gave each other a chance!
Thank goodness Jimmy was fast enough to see Neville tumble over the rail and actually go catch him before he hit the ground!
DUMBLEDORE KNOWS. Of course Dumbledore knows. And... he's not doing anything about it. He knows where Harry has been all these years and who kidnapped him and... ugh, this is very typical of Dumbledore to know all this information and not tell anyone until it suits his purposes :P but... would it even be fair for him to tell James and Lily at least? Considering he may not know the reasons? I don't know, this is such an ethical dilemma :P
And I was glad Peter and Jimmy actually talked and that Jimmy let go of his anger. Love is important, and he has a family who loves him, but... love can't cover up lies. Honestly I can't blame Jimmy. I'd be full of questions too if I were him and I wouldn't like knowing that the answer is there but out of reach. Peter needs to tell him the truth, and soon. And yet, as much as I'm annoyed with Peter's choice of action here... it's very in character for him :P I bet he's just hoping Jimmy will forget so Peter never has to face up to what he's done and face Jimmy's disapproval about it.
Hehe, I still really enjoy it when people are like "WOW NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM??" with some degree of starstruck-ness :P
CC if you want it/Because English is weird:
I saw 'misterious'/'mistery' in there a couple of times, which is what you'd expect the translation to be as a cognate, but it's actually spelt with a Y: mysterious/mystery
All he received from his friends were clueless, pitiful glares -- Hm. I think you may have meant 'glances', not glares? a glare is generally an angry look (or a bright light)
This was a lovely chapter, Chiara! I'm really enjoying this fic! ♥
Ahahah! Typical Hermione, reading at a Quidditch match. Yes, Neville and Ron could get along if they just tried.
And yes, thank Merlin Jimmy noticed. He does have a bit of a rescuing mania... Harry is always Harry, right? ;)
I'm not sure if Dumbledore knows... it's more like he suspects, I think. And yes, that's very typical of him, not doing anything and waiting for things to develop...
They did talk. But yes, there are still so many unanswered questions and Peter will need to tell him the truth, sooner or later. I'm glad you found Peter's actions in character, he does hate that kind of confrontation...
Ahahah! I'm so glad you like it! Poor Neville, though...
So glad you enjoyed this chapter too, and I can't wait to know what you think of the rest!
Love and snowball hug,
Ah, I'll have to wait a bit longer to find out what happened with James and Peter back in Godric's Hollow. For now, we're back at Hogwarts!
I like the way you write the changes in friendship dynamics here. Ron has to learn how to play well with others - seems there's a lot of people he doesn't like at this point. But maybe by the end he's gotten a bit better. After all, fighting a gigantic troll can bring anyone together. I like that there's a golden quartet!
It's interesting how many things are quite similar to the original books but with a few small changes, and I feel like as the story goes on, these small changes will build on each other until things are quite different. The friendship dynamics between Jimmy and his classmates are the biggest change so far (well... aside from everything going on away from Hogwarts with PEter), especially with Neville in Slytherin.
And why is Neville being stalked? What has Samantha Rosier against him? :-O It's no wonder he spends all his time with the Gryffindors since his own housemates make him so uncomfortable. :(
"If I don't have an infarct in the next five minutes, -- it's generally called a heart attack ;)
Yes, I'm trying to follow both the kids and the adults and to alternate the POVs. Sorry for making you wait.
Ahahah! Yes, my children fight a lot... but they do love each other, or at least they are trying to learn. Yes, I do love this golden quartet! :)
I'm trying to balance things that are similar with things that should be different. It's not easy but I hope it works. I'm glad you like their friendship dynamics.
There's more to come about Samantha, but she doesn't have bad intentions, she's actually just looking for a friend (*cough* she might have a little crush on Neville *cough*) But yes, Neville doesn't really feel comfortable with his housemates and that's no wonder... :P
Thank you for another lovely review! :)
I kinda feel bad for Peter, having no idea why Jimmy won't talk to him and really trying, despite whatever else he may have done in the past. I feel like it's extra complicated because he did the wrong thing but for the right reasons (mostly). Like, he had no right to run off with Harry like that, but at least Harry is still alive. Jimmy, just answer those letters! But, maybe this is a conversation best held face to face...
a wizard who offered himself as a dragon-sitter -- I know this is really inconsequential but I love it. this is exactly the sort of weirdness I expect from the wizarding world. does this guy get a lot of work? is his only customer Hagrid? /tangent
I'm not really sure Peter has planned this out. like, he may have put some sort of spell on himself so he's not immediately recognizable (plus ten years that Lily hasn't seen him) but... the minute Lily sees Harry *cough* I mean Jimmy... she's going to know. There is no way she won't recognize someone who looks exactly like James and has her own eyes. *CUE MUCH DRAMA*
James was in the kitchen, helping Lily with the dishes. Or better said, he leaned beside the sink, admiring her while she do the cleaning up. -- James you lazy git, do some dishes. :P Ooh, and this just got really exciting because everything surrounding the Philosopher's Stone is still happening, it'll just be different with the Potters alive and I'm so curious to see where you go with this!!!
Heh heh so Peter is moving into a haunted house (or so the locals say). Should be exciting. But really, I'm just looking forward to this meeting happening (James and Peter) because many things are about to change. Peter has a lot of explaining to do and I wonder if his old friends will ever trust him again.
Peter scanned the various adds -- rather than 'adds' as in the maths verb, I think you're looking for 'ads' as in, short for 'advertisements'
You've been a foul to come back.
No. He hadn't been a foul. -- 'fool' instead of foul
This is a great chapter! And actually I'm so invested in this future meeting where the Potters meet Peter again that I'm going on to the next chapter right away ;)
Hi, Kristin! *hug* *wub*
Sorry for the absurdely long time I took to answer these reviews... I'm the worst...
Yes, I know, poor Peter... he has a lot to be forgiven for, but Jimmy is being quite unfair to him not answering his letters. But yes, that's definitely a conversation they should have in person.
Ahahah! Yes, I wanted to put in some crazy stuff, I'm glad you liked it. No, I don't think he has many customers... :P
Peter didn't think it through so well, but he isn't that unprepared (don't know if this is the right word...) either. More about this will be explained better later. But drama is definitely coming, that I can assure you. :P
Ahahah! Isn't it so very James Potter, though? (that's a detail I added while editing and I love it...) Yes, everything about the Philosopher's Stone is still happening, we'll see where it goes together, hopefully.
I don't think the house is actually haunted, but Peter has a talent for getting himself into trouble... Peter and James will meet soon. What will happen once James discovers the truth, well... we'll see...
Thank you so much, your reviews are always so lovely! You are the best!
Ahhh and now we're back to Jimmy's POV so all the answers are probably not forthcoming :P But I guess that suspense is what makes a good story!
Poor Neville :( At least I know he grows up to be a badass. Aw, but I can see why he would be so irritated at Jimmy for not writing to his father, because he sees Jimmy as not being grateful enough for the luxury he has in actually having a father who's alive (even if Peter isn't related to him). As much of a jerk as Neville is being at the moment, he is right. Jimmy really should try to talk to Peter before he sees him over Christmas holidays...
Jimmy is one angry eleven year old. He's angry at so many people in this chapter, like OotP-Harry. But in how everything turned out with the Rememberall and agreeing to the duel - Harry is still Harry, regardless of the name :D
a glacial stare -- I love this description!
I love the glimpses into Neville's POV, especially of the other Slytherins who aren't Malfoy's gang. From Harry's POV in the books, he kind of gives the impression that all Slytherins are mean-looking and also just mean. A generalization that doesn't really make much sense, but Harry's a biased narrator. And here we see what it's actually like, from someone who is an actual Slytherin. Sure, Malfoy is mean, but there are other Slytherins who are normal, nice people, and I appreciate that. I hope to see more of Samantha Rosier.
Aw, the ending of this made up for all the Jimmy Angst in the beginning. Ron and Neville are becoming friends! Or at least on the way towards that. And I also like that in this story, Neville seems to be the only one with experience with Fluffy. The others didn't really see him, just pulled Neville out of the room. Good timing on Jimmy's part though.
Excellent chapter! ♥
Ahahah! Yes, I'm sorry... :P But I can't tell you everything immediately, can I?
I love my Slytherin-Neville, even if I don't really understand him at times... but yes, he's annoyed at Jimmy right for that reason. And he is right in saying that Jimmy should try to talk to Peter.
Ahahah! Yes, Jimmy has a tendency to anger... but it's sort of understandable, isn't it? And yes, deep inside he's always the same Harry! :P
Slytherins can't all be bad, can they? ;) Sam will appear again, there is a chapter later on that's mostly from her POV. She is interesting...
Ron and Neville will get there. :D They'll probably never stop bickering, though... Yes, that was very good timing!
Thank you for another wonderful review, and Merry Christmas once again!
Tons of love and hugs,
I just wrote up this whole review and then accidentally closed the browser >__< Where was I? OH RIGHT I WAS PANICKING AT PETER'S DREAM. That's quite a nightmare! Clearly Peter still has a lot of guilt over what he did - whatever he did. And is worried about how it will impact Harry.
After reading the dream segment I was really wondering if James and Lily were still alive, or whether they were in St. Mungo's, or why else would Peter be raising Harry? But then when Peter ran into James and Sirius in the street, it's clear that the Potters are still alive and well, which only makes me even more curious as to why Peter is raising Harry. Did he run away with him due to the prophecy, and that's why the Chosen One ended up being Neville - because Harry just wasn't around anymore? I'm getting ahead of myself with questions :P but honestly this chapter raised so many more questions than answers and I really want to know! *is impatient*
I loved the scene when Peter is eavesdropping on his old friends by hiding as a rat. I mean, I would have preferred he talk to them so I could find out some answers :P, but it's definitely more in his character to just scope it out and hide until he knows what sort of welcome he'd get. Mostly I just loved reading James and Sirius, long-time friends catching up over a butterbeer at the pub, because they never had that luxury in canon (at least not without worrying they were going to be Avada Kedavra'd at any moment) so it was really a joy to read :D
Ok now I'm moving on to the next chapter because I need to know what happened! :)
Finally here to answer to your lovely reviews! (You know you are awesome, right?)
Oh, no... I hate when it happens... damned technology... Anyway...
Yes, poor Peter... quite the nightmare indeed... he does have a lot of guilt...
James and Lily are fine, obviously. ;) As for why Peter is raising Harry and Neville is the Chosen One... well... let's just say you're more or less on the right track. (I'm still trying to define some details, actually... and you'll probably get your answers from Liar before than here... Am I rambling again?)
I don't think Peter would've ever gone and talked to them. And I honestly can't blame him, I wouldn't have the courage to confront them either... Glad you liked the scene and found Peter was in character, anyway. ;)
Yes, James and Sirius never got that luxury in canon... one of the best parts of writing this story (when the characters and my muse collaborate, so hardly ever...) is to give all four Marauders a chance to live a longer and happier life. And I'm happy you appreciated it as well. :)
Thank you for the lovely review. I'll answer the others soon (but right now I need to go do some errands...)
Merry Christmas, my love!
My little Chi ♥
I read your response to my last review and...
IS JIMMY HARRY?!
I think he is, but why is he with Peter! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BRAIN?!
Aw it's so nice to see the Maruaders alive, I must admit! I'm staying in this universe forever!
Wait, was a death faked here? Harry's death? And there's a sister?! Chiara you got me HOOKED! Why did it take me so long to find this?! Ahh!
Wonderful work Chiara, see you at the next chapter! ♥
P.S. Sorry for all the speculating and guesses but I can't help it!
Welcome back, my lovely B!
Yes, that's it, Jimmy is Harry. ;)
Well, I did tell you that I have a crazy mind, didn't I? Let's just say that Peter chose a different path from what he did in canon. And that choice changed the destiny of a lot of people.
For example, James is alive and Sirius is not in Azkaban. ;)
A death faked? No... why do you think there was a death faked? But yes, there is a sister! ;)
Ahahah! Keep the speculating coming!!! I love your speculating!!! :D Can't wait to see you again (here or anywhere else).
All my love!
Sick of me yet? :D
I hope not because I can't stay away! I'd meant to continue Nightingale, but I just can't go past this one now!
Poor Jimmy! Not only is he in a completely different world (new school, learning magic, even a different country!) but he's been told his father isn't who he thought all his life (by a hat, no less!). He doesn't seem all too enthusiastic about starting magic lessons, which is sad, but again, can't blame him with the daddy cloud hanging over him!
Aw Neville is having a hard time too :(
Ha ha Jimmy getting distracted by a tapestry sounds exactly like something that would happen to me!
I see Malfoy is no different in this universe ;)
I like the little joined forces thing Jimmy and Neville have going on, I hope they become friends in future!
ARGH, is he actually James Potter's son?! But you said Harry makes an appearance somewhere, I think? That's throwing me off, but you're certainly keeping me on my toes!
Oh my goodness if they form a new Marauders that would be AMAZING!
(Secretly hoping that happens, wink wink nudge nudge)
♥ ♥ ♥
Sick of you?
How could I ever get sick of you???
Yes, poor Jimmy... Having to move away is already confusing enough... Discovering your father is not really your father and has been lying to you for all your life... I can't even begin to imagine what it could be like...
Yes, Neville is having some trouble adjusting as well... Being the Boy Who Lived is quite stressful. Being sorted in a disliked house and been disliked by the members of said house as well is no fun either... (Just realizing how cruel I am to my characters here too...)
I would totally get distracted by a tapestry! If I were at Hogwarts, I guess I would get distracted by pretty much anything! :P
Malfoy is no different! ;) (there is a specific reason if the things that are different are different... everything else is exactly the same...)
Jimmy and Neville will become great friends. They'll still clash from time to time, but that happens with all friendships, doesn't it?
Maybe I expressed myself badly... I said Harry was nearer than you thought, I didn't say he would make an appearence somewhere... Or maybe, he does make an appearence... Maybe he's already appeared... Maybe he's been there all the time... Still not going to confirm nor deny anything... (but honestly, I guess I did confirm your thoughts now...)
In Snape's mind, they totally will! :P And maybe even out of Snape's mind... Guess it depends from the point of view... :P
Thank you for another awesome review, my love!
Your little Chi
How could I stay away for long when Jimmy gets sorted in this chapter?!
How art thou, Chiara? ♥
I'm even more intrigued by Jimmy now, especially since he's not impressed by Neville as the other kids (Jimmy sounds like a Slytherin to me here!)
But it's Neville who is the Slytherin! Wha-? How-? Chiara what evil plans have you for this story?! I'm fascinated!
Omg omg for a second I thought I had figured it out. By what the Hat said I thought (okay, yes, rather bizarrely)that Jimmy's father might actually be Harry, but then I came to my senses. Is he Peter Pettigrew's son maybe? Does that even make sense? Argh! I'll have to read and find out and stop speculating!
Then I continue reading and you actually have me scratching my head ha ha. You said all is revealed in chapter 4, I can't wait now!!
Yay Jimmy's a Gryffindor!
(Hufflepuff pride tho... Just sayin')
Aw, the twins have the right idea, chocolate makes everything better ♥
This story just keeps getting better, Chi! You've really sucked me in! (Curses... I have things to do!)
Love you xx
I'm great! I'm answering this awesome review, so how could I not be? ;)
Ahahah! No, I can assure you that he is very much a Gryffindor! He just isn't the most patient of people... :P
Neville is a Slytherin. Doesn't mean he'll turn to the dark side or anything. He'll actually end up spending much more time with the Gryffindors than his own housemates (spoiler? I guess so...) I guess the main reason he was sorted in Slytherin is the fact that he's sort of angry with the world, plus that little bit of Voldy's soul, you know...
We already discussed this a bit on Skype, but since I find it amusing... there are three questions that need to be answered, I think:
1) who is Jimmy Portman? If the Hat is right, he isn't a Portman. So maybe he isn't a James, either?
2) who is Peter Portman? I will only say that your guess was an interesting one! ;)
3) what's their relationship? "Putative" is the key word here! :D
Hufflepuff pride 5ever!!! But Jimmy is most definitely NOT a Puff... (need to write more Hufflepuff characters, though...)
Yes, chocolate makes everything better (even if I don't like chocolate... :P )
Ahahah! I'm sorry I'm distracting you... Or maybe I'm not... :P
Love you too!!!
Up to my usual transferring tricks :)
Why hello again my darling Puffling!
I was actually going to check out Liar, but I keep seeing Jimmy around and, well, curiosity drew me in.
And now curiosity is keeping me here!
So who is Jimmy! I have a few guesses but I'm not really sure! The name James is obviously a big hint (methinks) - but I didn't make that connection until he was actually referred to as James ha ha!
I do like Jimmy so far though - he's an interesting little fellow, all the way from America! I can't wait to see how his time at Hogwarts goes!
And Neville is The Chosen One! The Boy Who Lived, First of His Name and King of the Andals...
Seriously though, it's been a reeeally long time since I've read (nay, even seen!) a fic where Neville and Harry's (where art thou, by the way?)roles are reversed, so I'm super excited to see where it goes! And you mentioned the Marauders in the summary? WOOHOO! I love the way you write them!
I am in for a treat, aren't I? :D
(Of course I am - you wrote this story ♥)
I loved the bit where the first thing Ron thought of that could kills with looks was his mother! That's hilarious!
(P.S. Jimmy, the answer is Basilisk... Just sayin')
Anyway, good start to this story, Chi! Can't wait to read on tomorrow!
Love Bianca x
Well, hello again, my lovely Shakespeare buddy! :D
You see Jimmy around? Where? I need to tell him and his dad a few words... *coughs*
Ah, guess away! I won't confirm nor deny... :P and yes, James is sort of a hint... but to be honest everything (almost) will be revealed by chapter 4. I'm no good at keeping secrets...
Ahahah! He is an interesting young fellow! ;) I have a series of problems with him, but that's more a writer-character dispute, you know? Maybe when I'm done with Liar and with a little scrivener help... who knows...
Yes, Neville, the Boy Who Lived! And, well, I love the quote even if I can't recognize it! :D
I never thought I would write a fic where Harry and Neville's roles were reversed. It just... happened... sort of... And Harry might be nearer than you imagine... And, yes, I did mention the Marauders! It's always about the Marauders!!!
Molly Weasley is scary, isn't she? And Ginny is too! :P Ah, thou art a crosswords master, Miss Bianca!!! :D
Thank you so much, honey!!!
Hey Chiara! Okay, I was planning on heading back over to the Lark and the Nightingale when I saw that you had this newest story and, reading the description, I was so intrigued! I decided that I had to come and see what this was all about right away.
I liked how you didn't just tell us how overprotective Jimmy's father is - you showed us just how much. From what I remember, parents usually didn't board the Hogwarts Express and kids were on their own with the luggage, so at first I was surprised, but as the story went on I was like, "Ahh. This makes perfect sense. This guy can hardly bear to let his son go." And Jimmy's so cute, trying to tough it out so that he can comfort his father.
The next thing that really stood out for me was that Jimmy's best friend, Jenny, is going to Ilvermorny! I loved seeing a reference to the American school and I really hope we get to hear more about it from her!
Right now I am just absolutely baffled from trying to figure out who Jimmy is. Is it Harry, but named after James and with a different pre-Hogwarts life? Could Peter Portman be a pseudonym of Peter Pettigrew? I can't tell if that's reaching, but the names make me suspicious. Well, I suppose I'll find out down the line! It was so interesting to see all the old characters in this context that is so different, yet so similar. Chiara, I am dying to find out what is going on here? Neville is the Chosen One? The questions!!! You've done a great job of intriguing the reader in the first chapter.
CC: I didn't have much in the way of CC. Just a couple of spelling things:
Don't worry, you won't crush onto it" --Here, it would be better to say "Don't worry, you won't crash into it."
Sometime Jimmy wondered--"Sometime" should be "Sometimes" here.
"Half-orfan child"--This should be "half-orphan child".
But that was just minor spelling stuff. I really enjoyed the way you put together the first chapter of this story. I'm not certain what's happening yet, but you've really captured my attention and made me so curious. Whatever is going on, it's clearly a really creative idea and I am so looking forward to finding out where this story is going.
Thanks for the swap, Chiara!
Oh, that's okay. :) This isn't exactly a new story, I started writing it a long time ago and now I'm trying to edit it and change a couple of things that didn't make much sense, before adding new chapters (hopefully...) Let's see where it goes. I'm glad you are finding it interesting so far. :)
Yes, Peter is just slightly overprotective... he has his reasons... glad you liked how I showed it (no, normally parents don't do that...)
I'm not sure how much Jenny will appear, actually... but who knows, maybe...
Not going to answer, I'm sorry... Interesting theories, though... :P Happy to have you intrigued! :D
Okay, I hate English... :( Kidding, thanks for pointing those out! :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed this first chapter, and I really hope you'll enjoy the rest as well, if you decide to keep reading.
Maybe we should swap again sometimes? (So I'll have an excuse to go on with TH, I'm the worst at keeping up with stories,,,)
Thanks to you!
*Transferred from HPFF*
Hi Chiara! This is one of your prize reviews for leaving the most reviews in the Halloween Review Battle on HPFT. And, of course, it's a chance for me to get back to this story which I love!
Tapestries are distracting things. I'd probably end up meeting this fate too :P Sorry I'm late for class Professor. You see, there was a tapestry...
That letter makes me sad. Clearly Peter "Portman" really cares about Jimmy, but he doesn't know what Jimmy has found out yet, and Jimmy hasn't told him... which kinda makes sense, because it's not really the sort of thing you bring up in a letter, it's more of a thing you want to discuss in person! Like, I can just imagine how that letter would go: "Dear Dad, was I adopted? Also please remember to water the cactus in my bedroom. Love, Jimmy." haha But they need to talk about this. Is it going to have to wait until Christmas when Jimmy goes home?!
Neville being bullied by the other Slytherins makes me sad. I mean, Slytherins usually stuck up for other Slytherins, and I'd think they'd try and get close to Neville just because he's important, but there's also the thing about Neville defeating the Dark Lord so maybe some of the Slytherins who are Death Eater's kids (such as Malfoy) hold that against him. Either way, I feel really badly for Neville feeling so alone and alienated. But I like how he and Jimmy have become friends because they're both feeling kind of lost at this point. I love how natural their friendship is already - I enjoyed their note passing :P
Snape has figured it out. Of course, he's too smart not to. I love that he sees Neville as a lot like Remus because I think they have really similar personalities as well, and I think Neville being in Slytherin would really accentuate the similarities, esp with Neville being even more different from his peers (the chosen one rather than a werewolf, but it still makes him feel alienated) Ah, and Snape is just as much of a jerk and Neville is just as scared of him. Some things are a universal constant!
This was a great chapter! Big hugs and squishes and a snowball hug ♥
Sorry if it took me forever to answer to this review... and thank you so much for coming back here! :D
Ahahah! I totally agree! Not sure how the professor would react to the excuse, though. :P
Yes, Hedwig! I'm just reflecting that I don't know if she's the same Hedwig... probably yes, if Peter bought her as a birthday present for Jimmy... I can't remember what was my idea... ah, whatever...
No, definitely not something you would want to discuss through letters. (Love your letter by the way, lol) They might have a chance to discuss things before Christmas. Not sure the conversation will be satisfactory, though...
I think they don't see him like one of their own. Neville isn't the canonical Slytherin and he probably would tend to isolate himself anyway. Besides, as you say, there must be some resentment about the defeating-Voldemort bit...
I love Nev and Jimmy's friendship, too. They are my kids and I really love them (even if they drive me crazy... :P) Glad you found their note exchange funny. :D
He hasn't figured it out exactly. It's more like a feeling, you know? Poor Snape, they'll give him a hard time. :P
Ahahah! Yes, some things never change. Guess you meant multiversal constant. ;)
Thank you so much! Snowball hug rolling your way!!!
Your reasoning on what each of the first years was feeling while waiting for the sorting hat felt spot on. I also want to draw attention to the fact that Jimmy's boredom with the Boy Who Lived almost mirrors Draco Malfoy's reaction to Harry in the books, which I find really funny - how he refers to him as The famous Neville Longbottom. Haha...
NEVILLE IS A SLYTHERIN WHAT you totally surprised me with that one. I suppose at eleven Neville was much less assertive than Harry so the horcrux-part of him would be able to have more of a say? Interesting...
Potter! So Jimmy Portman is a false name. So his father then, Peter... while it would be funny for his name to be Peter Potter (lol) it would seem that this is Peter Pettigrew under a pseudonym who adopted 'Harry'. This is all kinds of interesting and where are Remus and Sirius? Since Peter didn't betray James and Lily in this reality (because they weren't in hiding) DOES THIS MEAN THE MARAUDERS ARE ALL STILL ALIVE AND FRIENDS?!?! Well, I get the feeling JAmes and Lily are in St Mungos, but the rest of them should still be around RIGHT??? OMG
I love the Sorting Hat. A little sass, a little argument, and a little caring. I always knew there was more to it than just singing a song and yelling out house names!
Aw, Fred and George! I love that you showed this side to them. For all their pranking and silliness, they do have a really caring side that I think often gets forgotten about in fic, so I love that you showed that.
Awesome chapter once again! ♥
So happy to see you back! :D
Glad you liked their thoughts before the Sorting and that you found them in character. Ahahah! He does remind of Draco a bit :P But he really has nothing against Neville, he just wants the Sorting to be over... Jimmy has a flaw (or many flaws, actually) he isn't very patient... :P
Yes, that's exactly what I had in mind, that Neville wouldn't be as insistent as Harry was. Besides he is sort of angry with the world and he wants to prove himself worthy. So, yeah...
Ahahah! You know me too well...
Actually, things are a bit more complex... but, once again, you'll find out in a couple of chapters. ;) Marauders stuff might be just behind the corner. :P
Ahahah! Oh, I love the Sorting Hat too! I'm actually always a bit doubtful when I wrote Sorting scenes because I fear to overdo them... but it's too much fun! :D
Fred and George are great! And yes, they do have that caring side! Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you so much for coming back and for another wonderful review! *wub*
Hooray, Jimmy is on the archive!
*Transferred from HPFF*
Team Werewolf review for HPFT!
Okay, how great is it that on the day you read my chapter about destiny and free will, I decided I was going to read this fic (because I'd been meaning to for a while) and found that the summary is about destiny and choices! Bahaha! Coincidence, or destiny? :P
So anyway, yay! I love the start of this. As you know, I think what-if types of AU are really interesting to think about, and this is a great idea, exploring how Neville and Harry would both be different if VOldemort had thought the prophecy meant Neville. Are Neville's parents still alive? Is James Portman's name really James Portman? Peter... Portman? Pseudonym or real name? So many questions and I can't wait to find out! Like... does Harry exist? Is Jimmy actually Harry with a changed name and a history in America?
I'm really interested in what things you've changed about this timeline and how those effects play out. So Ron and Jimmy became friends, but under totally different circumstances than Ron and Harry did. The complete opposite in fact. Ron is kind of bored by Jimmy! Meanwhile Neville is drawing stares all over the place (while still searching for Trevor. Bless him.)
Best line award: The only thing that came to Ron's mind was his mother -- HAHAHA. And what's even funnier is that it's so true. Molly Weasley could kill someone just by looking at them!
This is such a great start and I love that it's raising so many questions after just one chapter! That's how I know it's going to be good :D I like what we've seen of the characters so far as well.
SNOWBALL HUG!! ♥
Yes, he is! (But it might take a while before I move everything... I'm editing in the meantime and I really haven't had time and energy for it recently...) Anyway, transferring my response ;)
Hello, my wolfy mate! ;)
Ahahah! Yay, so awesome! Destiny, definitely destiny! ;)
Ah, I'm glad you enjoyed this first chapter! :) I must confess, this isn't nowhere near as well structured as your Icarus alternative universe... but Neville as the Boy-Who-Lived is an interesting fellow to write about. :P
I'm afraid Frank and Alice's destiny was just the same as James and Lily's in canon... :( (this is not really a spoiler, so I bet there's no reason not to answer)
As for your other questions... Are Peter and James Portman real names? Is Jimmy Harry? Maybe? Maybe not? Answers are coming soon enough, anyway. ;)
A lot of things are actually just the same, but you'll find out reading on. :P
Ron and Jimmy will be great friends, even if they started a bit awkwardly. And Neville is the old, good Neville. Just a bit more grumpy... (they all are, to be true. But that's the way I love them)
Ahahah! I totally agree! Molly definitely could kill just looking at you! :P
Thank you! I'm really so glad you felt intrigued by this first chapter and I really hope you'll read on and you won't be disappointed in the rest (this story really is far from perfect and could use some heavy editing... maybe one day...)
Thank you so much for stopping by and for another amazing review! It was just wonderful to wake up to it! You are the best!