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Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2017 12:35 AM · Chapter: Chapter 1

Hey there, here for CTF!


So this is an interesting piece, but I like it. I like how you’ve portrayed Luna and how you’ve shown us her transformation and how she’s went from being confused about love and feeling like everyone is pushing them towards it, to realising that they don’t need that type of love to be happy and she’s certainly proved that.


The part about it being graduation day and having final exams on that day confused me a little as they wouldn’t be able to graduate without having passed their exam already?


I think in the 5 years between leaving Hogwarts and going back for the reunion must have be really exciting or Luna, especially the travelling part. Her time at university doesn’t sound so fun lol. I’d love to hear more about what exactly she and her friends got up to, or even where they went while they were at University. I think it was an interesting choice to have her go to an American university, I wonder what she studied, but I suppose it makes sense with her wanting to leave Britain.


This was an interesting piece, I haven’t read many fics like it but I did enjoy it!

 

- Shaza :)



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2017 12:16 AM · Chapter: Chapter 1

Hufflepuff CtF

 

I’ve always headcanoned Luna as ace, so it’s not to see a story by someone else from that perspective.

 

I found the phrase “off in the library doing the same thing as the former,” to be kind of clunky an interrupting the flow of the sentence. You listed three things here, with the first two being the same thing in different locations. I think it would have been just as well just to list the two most different. If you wanted to keep it this way, I’d cut out “as the former,” since you hadn’t yet listed a second activity.

 

Luna was at school for eight years? Did she have to repeat her whole sixth year? =(

 

That’s really interesting, how Luna thinks that love is what caused the war. I’d be interested in hearing more about that.

 

I like the structure of this, how in the first section you briefly address Luna’s feelings about sexuality, and then romance in the second section, and in the final section bring it all together.

 

Wow, that really stinks that Luna didn’t keep in touch with a single one of her classmates. Not even Ginny?

 

I kind of felt like you get a little off topic and rambly with the details about Luna’s college and roommates. While that does seem in character for Luna’s topic to meander like that, the fact that it only does so in that section and not the rest of the story makes it feel a bit out of place.

 

I admit, I read the very last line first (not really cheating though, as it’s the story summary too), and I expected it to end in a very sad or disconnected way. On the contrary, the paragraph before that shows that Luna does not feel sad or alone about that realization after all, and I’m happy for her for that.

 

There are a couple points where you stray away from present tense, such as “week away was beyond you” “they had no worries”

 

This was a nice little Piece. You obviously have some different headcanons for Luna than I do (I see her as a panromantic asexual), but I totally saw and believed this version of her as I read along.


Sam.



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