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Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 08 Jul 2017 01:36 PM · Chapter: 2. The Wages of War

Transferred from HPFF 28th February 2016:

 

    彡Happy Birthday, farmgirl! I hope you have a great day.  

 

    I love these conversations between Harry and the Weasley brothers. I like the bright and lively atmosphere. Besides, you put his secret, the bruise on his chest and the awkwardness towards Ginny effectively.

 

     What a relief to see Fred is getting better and better. What a nice idea that he can communicate with his brothers and Harry.  

 

    The most heartwarming spot is that Charlie hugged Harry and told him how he recognized him as a family member in the Weasleys and his devotion. You're really good at capturing Harry's character. And I enjoyed the description about Charlie we can't read in J.K.Rowling's books, she didn't write about him so much as you did.  

 

   I hope I can come back to the next chapter ASAP.  

 

   Kenny



Author's Response:

THANK YOU!  And look, I'm only a year and a half late responding to it.  *hangs head in shame*



I'm so happy you enjoyed the talk between the boys here.  I like the idea of Harry being adopted into this big brotherhood of Weasley boys.  It makes my heart happy, to I try to bring it out when I can.



Yes, slowly Fred is getting better, though he still has a long way to go.  He's trying to cheerful though.



I loved writing that hug between Charlie and Harry.  It was sorely needed, and so nice to finally give Harry a little caring.  



Thank you so much!  This was such a great review!    



Name: Crumple-Horned Snorkack (Anonymous) · Date: 05 Jul 2017 08:54 PM · Chapter: 3. Coming Home

Greetings Farmgirl. I am the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, an elusive inhabitant of the northern boreal forest who only comes out on occasion to play practical jokes on humans and then hide from them, although today I have decided that instead I'll leave reviews for humans.

This was such an emotional chapter and I feel like there were a lot of things that had been a long time coming - like Harry finally coming to terms with the idea that things are not his fault, and he does have a loving family, even though they're technically not blood relatives. That scene with Molly hugging Harry just tugged at my heartstrings.

Her mother had always held firmly to the belief that all of life’s problems were best solved over good food. -- I must agree with Molly here. Whenever I face any problems in my life, they can easily be solved by a feast of leaves and dirigible plums.

But the last paragraph is what really got me. That whole section really, when Molly talks to Lily's grave... this was just truly beautiful and I will admit I had some tears sliding down my furry face. What an amazing scene. You write emotions so incredibly well - it all just feels so real (even to me, and I don't normally know how to feel human emotions since I am not a human.) Wonderfully done. ♥

I have greatly enjoyed reading this fic so far and I am happy to see that Fred is alive. I think I would like Fred and George, as they also seem to appreciate how fun it is to play practical jokes on humans. But now I must depart for I promised to meet Bigfoot for tea in the woods.



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 05 Jul 2017 08:52 PM · Chapter: 4. The Importance of Communication

For the HPFF Advent Calendar Day 9, which gave me the perfect excuse to return to this story because it's been unreasonably long since I last reviewed it (as the snorkack, which is why it appears I've skipped a chapter), AND IN THE MEANTIME YOU WON A DOBBY OMG?!?! CONGRATS ♥ that is AWESOME, and so very well deserved.

Okay, so. This chapter. I just love how the chapter starts, because I feel like this is how a chapter of the books could start. Yes, Harry would remark on how Ron's room is an eyesore with its bright orange hue and Chudley Cannons posters all over. And Mrs Weasley would pile comforting blankets on Harry to the point where he's almost smothered in them. And ahh - the point where Harry mentions he feels weird without Ron and Hermione by his side - this feels so realistic as well because usually the only time Harry was ever without his best friends was when he was at home with the Dursleys, and that's always an uncomfortable time for him, so it's this weird new situation for him that he's unused to. And then, of course, he's really awkward around Ginny, as expected. I love that he compares her eyes to drills XD It seems very much like a comparison Harry would make. So basically what I'm saying here is you've really got Harry's personality and quirks down so well and it's easy to read this as the same Harry as JKR writes. I mean it!

His reunion with Ginny was everything I hoped it'd be. You write Ginny amazingly well and I could really sympathise with her here, because obviously Harry messed up a lot and even though his minimal communication with her was for her own safety, I can understand why Ginny would be furious. That's a lot of time to have no idea what's happening and feeling totally useless. But that's what I like about Ginny - she'll speak her mind and tell Harry he was an idiot and that she's angry at him, but she doesn't really hold grudges, at least not when she knows the grudge would be stupid. Also, ahahaha Harry trying to make amends by quoting the Ways to Charm Witches book hahaha that made me laugh so much. (Yeah, I'd bet Ginny has read the whole thing, for entertainment!) I'm so glad Harry and Ginny made up. And then I laughed again when her brothers were like a little creepy audience at the bottom of the stairs. Haha, older brothers.

This was a fantastic chapter! I love love love your character interactions and you are a brilliant writer. Great work. ♥



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 05 Jul 2017 08:50 PM · Chapter: 2. The Wages of War

Welll it's obvious I'm procrastinating from NaNo but hey at least I get to find out what happened to Fred.

Gahh, I've read like 3 paragraphs and I'm already tearing up because you mentioned Remus and Tonks' funerals and that (like Fred's death, and Dobby's death, and the list goes on) still makes me very sad. I was kind of hoping you'd bring them back in this fic too, but I guess I have to be reasonable :p

I love your portrayal of Madame Pomfrey! Just like her canon self - and I am not surprised that she's still looking out for all her students, present and past, during that time. The Healers must have had the busiest, craziest time after the war O_O

HA. I love how even though Fred isn't able to talk (which, I agree with Harry, must be quite the struggle for him) he is able to communicate perfectly clearly. I love that even when he's been through so much and is clearly in a lot of pain, he still has a good attitude about it.

Ugh, of course Harry would try to take responsibility for all the horrible things that happened. Fortunately there are a lot of Weasleys who can knock some sense into him. I love that you pointed out all the damage Harry did to Gringotts and thus his account is frozen - I hadn't even considered that but of course it makes sense haha. I like that you've really considered all the after effects of a huge battle and they're all appearing in this chapter.

Aw, George really does need some sleep. I am so happy that he has Fred back but he can't stay awake for a whole month straight, so yeah. Sleep.

As always your characterisation of the Weasleys is brilliant. I like that in this chapter Charlie was such a caretaker - looking after Harry and Fred and George and making sure they do what they need to begin recovering. Its cool because we don't see much of Charlie in the books, and I like what you've done with him. I can definitely see him being the type who takes care of people, as that's his job (with dragons, not people :p)

Awesome chapter! Thanks for the swap!!



Author's Response:

Procrastination can be an art form. Such as this review response. Not only is it horribly late, but I'm also using it as an excuse to write NEW stuff, because I'm stuck. How's that for procrastination?

Sorry for the tears. And I know everyone wishes I could have brought back Remus and Tonks - I wish I could. But I think I was testing the very fabric of the universe by messing with Fred as it was...more might have destroyed it. (And Dobby! I can't forget Dobby!)

Madame Pomfrey was actually surprisingly hard to write! I thought she would be easy, but as I was doing it I realized I might not know her character as well as I thought. Makes me feel good to know you think she turned out all right in the end.

Right now, Fred is turning a very cheerful face toward his hardship - which is nice. Makes it easier to write about him being so obviously in pain when he's bearing it cheerfully. 

And of course, did you expect Harry to do any differently? He can be rather dense when it comes to guilt and all of that stuff. Someone will soon knock some sense into him, however.

I did try really hard to consider the ramifications of the war and the battle. I get annoyed by fics where everything fixes itself and goes back to normal TOO easily. Life isn't like that - not usually.

Poor George. He might be taking this whole thing even worse than Fred is at the moment.

Thank you again! Your compliments and reviews always make me smile. You give me such inspiration to keep writing, even though I'm slow at it. Maybe I'll even manage to get some more chapters up soon!



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 05 Jul 2017 08:48 PM · Chapter: 1: A Little Wounded

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

Hi! Here with your review!
Since there were no specified areas of concern in your request, be prepared for a structureless, gushy ramble...

Mum, Dad, get to St. Mungo’s right now. Fred’s still alive. – George -- YES. THIS IS WHY YOU ARE AMAZING. :D

I think you did really well capturing the Weasley family confusion after the twins have disappeared - particularly Molly's outrage that she doesn't know what has happened to her children just after one supposedly died. So yeah, that was very true to character - of her and all the Weasleys. I have the suspicion that you are actually a Weasley yourself, since you seem to know them and all their behaviours SO WELL. :p

The second part with McGonagall was so sweet too - it was always evident in the books that even though she's so strict, she always did have a fondness for Harry. And I think it's natural that Harry would want to clean up the school and put all of this weight on his own shoulders, because he's been doing that his whole life, being the chosen one and everything, and what McGonagall says to him is right on point - you've perfectly managed that balance between her sternness and care, as well. And I love that she as well as the Weasleys recognize the Burrow as Harry's real 'home'. :)

Two points of possible CC:
1. Why didn't Harry go with the Weasleys to St. Mungo's? I would have thought that was a big deal for him as well to hear that Fred is alive. Did he go with them, and then return to the castle to clean up, or did he just remain at the castle while the Weasleys went to the hospital?

2. “Are you kicking me out? Do you want me to leave?” -- Harry seems a bit hasty to come to this conclusion here. Especially after all he's just done for the entire wizarding world. If that's the way you intended it to be, for him to jump quickly to a conclusion, then ignore the rest of this paragraph, but if you were interested in changing it to make it seem more like blank confusion, you could modify it to be something to the effect of "What? You want me to leave?" (or whatever.) Anyway, just something to think about.

Overall: It was a lovely chapter. Your characterisation is, as always, spot on. I am glad that Fred is still alive :D And I'm really looking forward to a reunion scene/ what happened to Fred. You are awesome.



Author's Response:

 Just for the record, I am totally fine with unstructured, gushy rambles whenever you feel like giving them. Just sayin'.

Awww, and now I'm blushing. Did you really just call me Amazing? You are WAY too nice to me.

But you KNOW I can't leave Fred dead if I can help it. I just can't.

ME, a Weasley? I wish! I would jump at that chance! Does this mean I get to have one of the twins? Oooh, which one to choose...

Of course the Burrow is Harry's real home. Everyone knows that, except possibly Harry, but he's getting there.

Okay, to answer your concerns.
1. He stayed at the Castle while they went. Which, I know is a little odd, but here's my reasoning. Harry is in that guilt mode he has - thinking everything is his fault, including that Fred was killed/is hurt. He felt like it was just for "family" to go to Fred right now and he's still not convinced this applies to him. Hence why McGonagall has to set him straight a little.

2. I honestly didn't mean for Harry to sound hasty and harsh there. But I did mean for him to sound dejected. He's lost and adrift. He doesn't even KNOW where home is anymore, and he has been kicked out of most of them he's known. So I guess he figured McGonagall was coming to tell him it was time to leave. 

Thanks again for such a great review! Glad you started reading this one. Hopefully you will have time to come back for more sometime!



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 05 Jul 2017 08:47 PM · Chapter: Prologue: No Words

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

Well, it looks like you haven't updated this one for a while, but it looked interesting. Having just recently written something about post-war George as well I decided to have a look at yours because I have a sneaking suspicion that you dispensed with parts of canon. Fred is listed as a character in this, so I have hope. :p

Ugh, reading about George witnessing this is so raw and heartbreaking and sad. You've portrayed the grief and emotions so well, and it's like reading that part of DH all over again :( and the way you've focused on things like Bill's face "floating" in front of him is such an effective way to portray George's shock and helplessness, like he's seeing everything in the hall through a haze of tears. :'(

BUT WAIT. HE IS TOTALLY ALIVE. Why else would Madam Pomfrey do that? Ha, I knew I could count on you, as someone who denies that Fred's death ever happened. HE'S ALIVE! At least he'd better be. Ahhh!

Awesome start! I'm excited to read more of this. :)



Author's Response:

Hey there! Only 4 months late responding. Yeah, I know...I'm not very good at setting records. At least not good ones.

I'm so glad you found this story. I know it's sat for a long time, but I am still working on it. It just got pushed aside for a while. 

You wrote a George post-war? I should check it out. Then again, it will probably just make me BAWL! They always do, I'm still so sensitive about that topic.

I have no idea what you are talking about with this dispensing with canon and Fred characters... *whistles guiltily*

Sorry to make you feel the pain. This chapter was really my way of getting my own pain at what happened out into the open. I thought it would help and make it go away...nope. Still feel it every time I think about it. Silly fictional characters that make me love them as much as real people.

But WAIT. ARE YOU SURE? Hehehehe. Keep reading to find out!

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you come back and finish this someday.



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