An interesting story, Rose. I haven't read much of your work yet, so I don't know if this story is part of a larger head canon, but it certainly could be (probably is), and yet it stands alone very well. The parameters of the situation are clearly stated, and you wisely focus on just one self-contained event, creating a well-structured story arc. You show us the man behind the events, the man whose progress, even if slight during this one-day episode, gives the story its dynamic quality.
I really like the fact that you begin this in the present tense. It gives a sense of immediacy and makes us feel almost as if we are there, which helps give a sense of how Scorpius must be feeling.
And given what we know the theme of this story is, the comment, "you're mine" takes on creepy significance.
It didn't occur to me that it was a dream until you said he woke with a start, which I guess means you wrote it well. Even with the italics, I thought it might be a flashback to earlier times or something. Or sort of a prologue.
Really like the comment about Malfoy Manor not feeling like a home. My headcanon is that Draco never completely recovered from his experiences during the war and that as a result of that and the animosity towards the Malfoys from both sides of the war, Scorpius had a pretty tough time. I'm wondering if that's true here. That line sort of hints it might be.
I also like the way you have Scorpius think of the other person as "him." It feels like he doesn't even want to THINK the guy's name.
I really like the comment about numbers being a comfort. Sounds almost like a form of OCD. (And it looks like all my comments are just beginning, "I really like..." but I do.)
Actually, given how Hogwarts doesn't teach Maths, it is interesting that his talents lie there. Of course, kids have learnt BASIC Maths by the age of 11 but they would be basic. I guess he just has a natural talent.
Oh, his mother's overly cheerful tone! You really give a sense there of how helpless she feels and how she is TRYING to make things better but doesn't really know how. And it really fits the Malfoys that they WOULDN'T ask anything too personal. Can imagine them being awkward with shows of emotion.
And that is an interesting idea - that the wizarding world would only think domestic violence is a problem if magic is involved. It makes perfect sense, given how they look down on Muggle methods of everything. I've never thought of this before but I can well imagine there being a stigma to being harmed emotionally or physically without a wand.
Yeah, I can imagine Weasleys' having HILARIOUS defences against theft. You've really thought things through here.
It does seem like Scorpius dealt with that well.
At the end, you've written "has not be in force." I think you mean, "has not been."
LOVE the ending and the way it points out how this is not an easy situation. He no doubt loved Corbin once and it's unsurprising he'd feel some ambiguity.