*Transferred from AO3*
*Transferred from ao3*
HI ROSE ♥ I'm here with your review from HPFT. And a box of tissues, you know, just in case.
“My name is Savage. Brandon Savage,” he tells her before taking a sip of ale. -- Haha. Again with the James Bond style introduction XD I love it though.
Omg he's so bad at flirting and it's a) kind of hilarious and b) I can relate! :P I love how Moira kind of takes it in stride though. I like the way you develop the chemistry between them, btw. It's not like they're just amazingly magnetic conversationalists but they're realistic, and they click. I ship it. Particular snippet of conversation that I loved: "do you have a favorite star?" "the bright one" bahahaha good one Brandon. Once they got past Brandon's bad flirting, conversation seemed to come easily to them.
Unimportant side note: Can't believe Brandon hasn't had sushi before. *shakes head* At least he is now. Also the descriptions of Moira's food order are making me hungry
I think it's obvious Brandon likes her, but that he's not ready for that step yet. He's clearly not over Albus, so Moira seems a lot like a rebound for him, even if he does really enjoy her company.
LOL, BOWLING BALL PUNS
gah, I feel so bad for Moira towards the end here, as she clearly likes him but senses (rightly) that her feelings are a lot stronger than his. But the way she went about it was kind of what ruined it- first standing him up, and then sending his letter back without a response - from Brandon's pov that would have very much looked like she didn't want to see him anymore, but as we see this bit from Moira's pov, it's clear she's just trying to protect herself from what she sees as a potential future heartbreak as she's falling for him. Part of me wonders what would have happened if she tried to talk to him instead. I don't know that it would have worked out any better, though, because Brandon has not exactly been communicative either. The whole thing fell apart mostly just because of poor communication... and I think that's probably quite realistic. But poor Moira at the end, pregnant and not able to tell Brandon because she sees him with Rose and makes an assumption (BECAUSE BRANDON DIDN'T TELL HER HE WAS DATING A GUY) Agh. So many things that would have been avoided with better communication. these two belong in the "Missed connections" personals in the Daily Prophet :P
Okay so for your questions: yes, it is evident that Brandon likes her, thinks she's interesting and attractive. I think he's still more concerned with his heartbreak about Albus, but it feels like the sort of thing where if it had been different circumstances, a different time, if Albus weren't in the picture, then maybe Moira and Brandon would have had a chance together, and they could have been a good couple. At least that's the vibe I got.
I think it definitely works as a realistic extension of what I've seen of Brandon in the other stories of yours, and I like that it shows this other side to him that isn't really seen with Albus. Sort of rounds out his character a bit more, seeing him in a different situation with a different person, and I'm glad you wrote this story, as the outcome of his 'relationship' with Moira ended up being sort of a big deal ;)
As for the sexy scenes: Much steam. *fans self* I thought they were great!
A couple of cc things:
Brandon sits at the bar alone, his coworker who had joined him for dinner left not ten minutes previously -- This sentence reads kind of weird to me, I think because of the comma. Maybe use a semicolon or a period.
I also want to mention that to me, the first section where the drink gets thrown is a bit unclear who's doing what. I get that Brandon is kind of focused on himself at that point and ignoring the conversation, but... the unicorn hunting guy threw Moira's own drink at her? Or he threw it at Brandon? Moira threw her drink at unicorn hunting guy? I think this might be a good section to look over again just to clarify, as I'm a bit confused :P
Altogether though, this is really well written and I loved it. I love how complex and intricate the PI/TR universe is getting! ok I'm out of characters so: I loved it! ciao!