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Reviews For True Romance

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 16 Jun 2018 04:52 PM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: A View to a Kill

Hi omg I’m so so sorry that I totally forgot to post my review for our swap (I just?? wrote it??? and then randomly forgot to actually post it????) so here I am, like maybe a month late or something. I’M SORRY. At least this gives me the chance to read further though! <3

 

Okay so I’m going to try to refrain from yelling at your characters this time around hehe. But I’m still VERY UPSET with Scorpius. (And now with Corbin, too.) YOUR CHARACTERS ARE SO SATISFYINGLY INFURIATING I WANT TO YELL AT THEM WHILE HUGGING YOU FOR WRITING THEM AHH. [Okay, so that no-yelling resolution failed. I’m going to actually try now lmao.]

 

My main issue with Scorpius is all the sneaking around he’s been doing. Maybe if he made it clear to Corbin, “Hey, I’m going to see other people since I don’t feel like we’re exclusive,” then I would be alright with it. But he’s lying. He was lying then by not telling Corbin in the first place, and now he’s lying directly to his face. I don’t think Scorpius is poly. He seems to be flipping back and forth between two people, depending on who he’s with at the time, instead of wanting to actually work things out with both of them and being honest with the both of them.

 

ALSO WTF CORBIN: “Only uncivilized people go about dating multiple people at once,” Corbin shot off dismissively. “It’s base and much beneath someone of status.” POLY PEOPLE EXIST YOU KNOW, BUDDY. Scorpius is in the wrong though, he really really needs to be honest ugh. And possibly stop sneaking around.

 

I feel like the second you’re sneaking around your partner, then you gotta take a good look at yourself.

 

Anyway. GO ROSE. I’m so glad that she’s worked out a semi-plan for what she’s going to do. The fact that she hasn’t given money much thought makes me slightly nervous, but I really hope that things work out for her in the long run! I really want her to succeed so that she doesn’t have to waste away at the Ministry job that she hates so much.

 

OH. Brandon has a child? Is this the child that you wrote your Domesticity Challenge one-shot about? Oh my goodness I love children. I just want to hug them all the time. They’re so cute and adorable ahh!! (Okay tangent over haha.) At this point I’m so curious to see what Brandon is like with his child. I hope we get to see them together soon! Though of course it’s sad that the witch died. :(

 

Great chapter! And once again, sorry for the lateness of this. <3

 

~Eva



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 04 Jun 2018 12:06 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Live and Let Die

Hey, Rose!

 

Hahaha I love that Rose has been hiding out in Lily’s room, using a Disillusionment Charm whenever things get sticky. I wonder if she’ll take the opportunity to actually go off and fulfill her dreams of traveling the world? Especially since it’d be a better use of her time than sitting in Lily’s room and hiding in the closet whenever Ginny comes by. But omg I love how you wrote these two; their banter was just absolutely hilarious. I loved their teasing of each other, especially Rose’s teasing of Lily’s love life…though Rose is still quite sad, and I still want to hug her for that.

 

Ahhh Albus. Albus, Albus, Albus. You are slowly destroying any chances of me shipping you with anyone, buddy. Literally the second he feels angry at Brandon for standing him up, he goes and sleeps with Scorpius? HOW DARE HE. Of course Brandon’s in the wrong (though it’s not even Brandon’s fault, technically, it still makes sense that Albus would be hurt) but ALBUS. YOU DON’T GO SLEEPING WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE BOYFRIENDS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. *smacks Albus upside the head*

 

AND SCORPIUS. WHAT IS THE POINT OF EVEN HAVING A BOYFRIEND IF YOU’RE JUST GOING TO PRETEND THAT HE DOESN’T EXIST EVERYTIME HE LEAVES YOU FOR A SECOND. Scorpius asking Albus whether it would be “just tonight” had my blood boiling, let me tell you. I want to smack both of these guys over the head with a frying pan, Jesus.

 

But Brandon. Brandon is a really, really good guy (who, quite frankly, Albus simply doesn’t deserve at this point in time). I hope he’s alright. I hope he comes out of this okay. I hope that my predictions were wrong and that nothing too terrible happened to him. Ahhhh.

 

<3

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

ROSE NEEDS ALL THE HUGS. She kind of has a meloncholy story arc though. I feel like banter might be my one trick, lol. I keep doing it at least. 

I blame the beer and misplaced anger for Albus' behavior and just how much of a dick he was in this chapter. He is definitely unfair to Scorpius with the technically not a lie about it not being one night and just running off to Scorp because he can. But, this is definitely the first time where Scorpius is definitely cheating, no matter how he rationalizes it (e.g. planning to break things off with Corbin once he gets back from his trip). 

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

Brandon is too good for this world. An Al. Pretty much everything else in this is Al on a redemption path. It's a rocky path. D: 

eee, I'm excited for you to find out whathappened. 

thank you for putting up with my characters. :D D: 

-Rose



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 03 Jun 2018 11:41 PM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: In the Waiting Line

Hi Rose! <3

 

SCORPIUS. NO. That is absolutely not how you break the news to someone that you were just using them in order to make your parents happy. I mean, ughh, it’s so hard to actually blame Scorpius because his parents put pressure on him, but just all this dishonesty from the past makes it really difficult to wipe the slate clean and start over. I was really hoping that he and Rose could be friends, but… *sigh* Poor Rose. It probably didn’t feel too great hearing that. Also, Scorpius, buddy. I’m sorry that you went through such a difficult time with your parents, but Hermione forcing Rose into a mindless job isn’t something to just brush off. Just because you had it worse doesn’t mean that Rose isn’t going through a tough time with her parents.

 

Can I just give Rose a great big hug? I just want to treasure her and give her the world. <3

 

That scene between Molly, Arthur, and Albus was really super sweet. I find it interesting that Albus thinks of Molly as “Nana” but still calls Arthur “Arthur” in his head. And gotta love it when older relatives butt into your love life haha. Still, though, it’s really nice seeing Albus be so close to his grandparents.

 

Brandon sounds like a really good Auror! And just a really good person in general. (Sidenote: I loved this line, it made me laugh really hard – “Overall, the system worked out well excepting those wizards who refused to wear pants.” Wizards need to sort themselves out. How difficult is it to dress like Muggles, who you’ve definitely seen walking about?) I love that he wanted to help Harry with Rose (and caved only because he saw how much Harry loved her), while still wanting to respect the privacy of their conversation. This guy is a good one.

 

<3

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

I should have a drinking game where you shout no at my characters in this. hahaha. I'd die so fast. Scorpius was a little stuck in a situation where to talk about thing B he had to fess up about thing A. In the longrun, it's going to be better for the two of them to have that info about their past out in the open. You have a point re: Rose's job situation also not being fair. Scorpius was definitely channeling my own agnst about not throwing away a good family situation/relationship too hastily. 

OMG, I HADN'T CONSIDERED HOW WEIRD IT IS HE DOESN'T BOTH REFER TO THEM THE SAME WAY. Now I'm bothered. haha. I really like writing about Molly/Arthur in this and their close relaitonship with Albus. :D :D :D

I'm not sure why I keep writing about Harry pressuring Brandon to give up info on conversations he's had with Harry's family, lol. I kind of make Harry out to be a little shady. -_- But, you know, dressing in pants is a hardship. One that I face every day. :P

THANK YOU FOR A LOVELY REVIEW!! +1 I only made you briefly shout in this. 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 03 Jun 2018 05:38 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Mr Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Okay after that confusing situation with my review from last chapter, I’m starting from the third chapter now haha. (It’s late so there is a very good chance that I’m just being delusional and misremembering things at this hour…but I’m just baffled as to why I never posted the review I wrote you for the last chapter haha. Now I’m paranoid that I’ve written loads of people reviews that I never posted. Anyway.)

 

Oh noo, Scorpius! Oh no, oh no. Cheating is always one of those things where I just absolutely cannot ship that person with anyone anymore. I can’t ship Scorpius with Albus, because he cheated with Albus (and, just, a relationship with that type of history rekindling it makes me so so nervous), and I can’t ship Scorpius with Corbin, because he cheated on Corbin (I feel so bad for him omg). Guess Scorpius is gonna die alone, at least in my brain haha. Okay but Scorpius literally lied to Corbin so many times in this first section, I lost count.

 

WHAT IS ALBUS DOING. ROSE, WHAT IS HE DOING. Why would he purposefully go to screw up Scorpius’s relationship (though, of course, Scorpius is equally at fault for letting it happen) when he still likes Brandon and still wants to date him?? WHY. Albus, you’d better work really hard to make up for your mistakes otherwise I’m gonna have difficulty shipping you too. (Also super sorry for my really weird shipping habits, it’s definitely not your fault haha.) Like I feel like in any other circumstance, the personalities of Brandon and Albus would match up so well, and the two obviously make each other happy, but ahh Albus. :(

 

Hermione, why are you being so terrible to your daughter? I feel like Hermione would have high expectations, of course, but it makes me really sad to see her pushing Rose into such a dull and unintellectual job. YOU GO, ROSE, FOR LEAVING. I wonder where she’s going though?? I’m assuming either Albus or Scorpius, though I’m banking on Scorpius, considering she doesn’t feel she’d be welcome there.

 

This was such a fun chapter! <3

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

I'm kind of cracking up about that paranoia. I'm pretty sure you've posted all the other reviews you've wrtten :)

My main thing with Scorpius' relationship at this point is that he hasn't really bothered to define what it is he has. I do think he's not acting in good faith (not having said he's dating other people/keeping his options open) and should have better communication. Also he's just letting himself get pulled in whatever direction is in front of him. Corbin wants to date him? Sure he'll do that. Albus is suddenly interested again? He'll chase that too. Scorpius does really mess up by not being honest about where he's at re: Albus. In terms of Albus, he's kind of like a lost puppy trying to find a home but instead of taking the home that's open he wants a trial run at several homes. The puppy analogy doesn't really work here but, it's what I have. It's like I mentioned in my last review, there's a lot of people messing up, not communicating what they want/are doing well, and finding the maturity to be better. 

glad you enjoyed the chapter even if it made you yell-y. :P 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 03 Jun 2018 05:08 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Such Great Heights

Hi Rose!

 

[Okay, so something funny happened. I checked through the reviews on True Romance, and since I’d only left one on the first chapter, I started reading from the second. But I was like, “…I’ve read this before, and I’m almost positive I left a review on it.” But there was no review posted by me?? So I started typing up another one…but then I scrolled up in my reviews doc and lo and behold, there was a review. But for some reason I’d just never posted it?? Idk. If something went wrong, lmk haha. Anyway, here’s the original review!]

 

WHOA NO NO ALBUS. THAT IS NOT GOOD. He goes and hijacks Scorpius’s relationship right when Scorpius is getting over him?? NO.

 

I love Scorbus as a ship. I would die for Scorbus. But when one half of the ship is in the beginnings of a happy, adorable relationship, and the other half is feeling left out and jealous, then that is when I’m like “YOU TWO NEED TO SORT YOURSELVES OUT AND FAST.” (I did a lot of internal shouting while I read this chapter haha. It’s only the second one?? How are things turning into a rollercoaster already? Rose, you are very talented at giving your readers stress hehe. <3)

 

For a moment at the beginning I’d hoped that Albus finally felt solid enough emotionally to start dating Brandon again. I was 200% on Rose’s side this time. (Also, poor Rose – I can understand why Hermione would want her to have a Ministry job, but also, that’s not Hermione’s choice to make. Rose’s company idea sounds really awesome, I hope she goes for it! And have I mentioned how much I love Rose? She’s hilarious and wonderful and I adore her.) Anyway. But then Albus starts thinking about Scorpius, and THIS IS VERY UPSETTING but Albus decides now of all times is the time to start fighting for Scorpius again?? EXCUSE YOU, BUDDY.

 

I am also upset with Scorpius for letting himself kiss Albus, when he’s dating someone else. I hope he’s honest with Corbin about this because if I were Corbin I’d be really upset. Also, Albus’s attempts to make Scorpius see fault with Corbin omg. Could the boy be any more obvious about his intentions ahaha.

 

Also. I have a very, very bad feeling about Brandon. Is he going to get hurt??? Ending the chapter on that one line from Rose seems veerrryyyy ominous to me. I HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS TO BRANDON. (I really appreciated his talk with Rose. It was really nice, and he seems like he’s a really good and mature guy. Good for him! I’d like for him to remain in one piece, please.)

 

<3

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

Okay, so I thought we did a swap for this chapter but like I didn't chekc if you were still going to do it because I request from you so much and it just felt greedy. Anyway, I think it's adorable that you have a review doc. :D 

So.... you're goint have a lot of 'NO ALBUS' moments in this story. The whole thing is a relationship roller coaster full of bad choices. -_- At least 2/3 of this story is people becoming emotionally mature enough to have adult relationships. But you should definitely be mad at Al and Scorpius through a lot of this. 

re: Rose and Hermione -- I kind of feel like Hermione is that ultra practical mom who thinks their kid should take a job where they could do well and would have less sympathy for less mainstream aspirations. 

You're not wrong to have a bad feeling. I work hard to give people quite a fright about him :P  I CAN'T MAKE PROMISES ABOUT BRANDON. 

-Rose



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 25 May 2018 02:28 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: New Slang

A DIRECT SEQUEL YAY.

 

Okay so already I love the changes in Albus, how he’s confident enough to have flings and one-night stands like this, and where he’s completely open about his sexuality to his family now. It’s just so wonderful and freeing to see him like this, when in the last story he was still hiding from everyone and he was unsure and unhappy. And I just love seeing him like this! It just makes me so delighted.

 

I also love that banter between James, Albus, and Lily haha. Well-written sibling relationships are my jam! And I totally agree with Albus that Scorpius is like a million times better than Dawlish, so who’s James to judge? The boy needs to be a little more open-minded with his brother’s friends.

 

And seeing Albus and Scorpius interact! Peacefully, even! With kindness and good will towards the other! Like a good and healthy friendship! Goodness, it totally made my day. And I’m really happy that Scorpius met a new boy (even if Albus isn’t 100% on that level yet haha), because it means he’s moved on and there’s no more of that negative history between Scorpius and Albus clogging his future. I hope Albus can come to accept this as easily as I did haha, especially with the re-introduction of Brandon to the story!

 

Albus being James’s wingman is the greatest thing ever. And I’m not gonna lie, when I saw that Brandon just appeared out of the blue like that (set up by James, no less!) I screeched a little. I didn’t expect that the two of them would have met up over the past year, so that was an interesting little tidbit to discover. Anyway I wonder how Albus and Brandon’s relationship will continue to progress throughout this story!

 

<3

 

~Eva



Author's Response:

Eva!! 

Albus is almost an entirely new person! Except not all the changes are great, as you have noticed in later chapters. He's at least accepted himself and doesn't hide who he is anymore. ^_^

I really like writing siblings giving each other a hard time. It always feel fun to write. I got really excited by you hating on Dawlish. I've had a multi-generational hate based relationship with that family in my fanfic. 

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I thought you'd want to stab me for the stuff I'm doing with Albus and Scorpius in this story and now that you've read more, I know for sure you want to get all stabby-stabby. 

I remember when I wrote this chapter I debated whether throwing Brandon in at the end would work or not, or if it'd just feel too rushed but years later I'm glad I ran with the idea of having him in the first chapter. Brandon and Albus are my pets so I couldn't keep them apart. I just didn't put them together either. haha. 

Thank you so much for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and reviewing :D :D :D

-Rose



Name: red_headed_juliet (Anonymous) · Date: 27 Mar 2018 05:31 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: New Slang

Yay! So far I'm liking it. I think it's cute how James is playing match maker and trying to get them back together now that Albus is in a better place. Can't wait for more!

Until next time

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I am really glad you like the role James has taken up. I guess we'll have to wait and see if it works or not. I hope to have the next chapter out soon.
-Rose



Name: Veritaserum27 (Anonymous) · Date: 27 Mar 2018 05:19 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: New Slang

Hi Rose!

Woo hoo! I can""t believe this is up already. I just finished Cruel Intentions and now this is posted. (I know you wrote that story a while ago, but it was new for me!)

Did my eyes deceive me? Did this say ""novel?"" I am so, so excited!

Ok, where to start...

James: I love his character in this. Normally, he is portrayed as a Quidditch Star playa. But here, he just doesn""t have game. Albus sees more action than he does - and James is so insecure with women that he needs Al to help him out. Love it! I also like how protective James is of both Al and Lily. He even tries to play matchmaker with Albus and Brandon &hearts; . That was really cute.

I still must ship Al and Scorpius, but you know my complete fangirl &hearts; love &hearts; of Brandon Savage, so I will root for him to be lucky in love in this story.

Scorpius and Corbin. Not sure what to think here. I can understand Al""s jealousy. Also, I know your penchant for creating characters that I just can""t hate, so I will leave the jury out on this one - for now.

The Pottery family dynamic is awesome. They are such a close family, but completely realistic at the same time. I wonder if Lily will be a bigger part of this story, now that she is a little older.

One more cheer for Brandon making it into the first chapter. Yay - Brandon - yay! &hearts;

And lastly, this was my very first mention/thank you in a chapter on the archives, so I must let out a squee for that! Thanks!

~Beth

Author""s Response: Beth!!!

For you it was a super short wait. Just think, some people have been waiting for this since February. :P

It is a novel!! I just hope I can pace it right - after zooming through Pure Intentions this will feel a bit slower for me.

I""m so happy you liked James. haha, yeah, he""s definitely not a playa. I don""t think he""s quite as lost with women as he lets on but, he has his motives. I thought his inability to hear about people he knows in a romantic sense (like how he kind of spazzed out at his parents holding hands) is because he doesn""t have a lot of experience himself. But, yeah, he""s definitely the older protective brother here.

:D I can""t say who will end up where but the Al/Scorp versus Brandon/Al will be solidified in this story. Eventually

You""ll get to know Corbin more as the story creeps on. I can""t say more about him yet though.

Yay! It""s good to hear that the Potters are realistic while being close. Lily will play more of a role as the story goes on. She""s an adult and can""t just be at Hogwarts all the time, lol.

I had to give you props - your R&Ring of Pure Inentions motivated me to revisit this plot idea.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!

-Rose



Name: Veritaserum27 (Anonymous) · Date: 27 Mar 2018 05:19 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: New Slang

Hi Rose!

Woo hoo! I can""t believe this is up already. I just finished Cruel Intentions and now this is posted. (I know you wrote that story a while ago, but it was new for me!)

Did my eyes deceive me? Did this say ""novel?"" I am so, so excited!

Ok, where to start...

James: I love his character in this. Normally, he is portrayed as a Quidditch Star playa. But here, he just doesn""t have game. Albus sees more action than he does - and James is so insecure with women that he needs Al to help him out. Love it! I also like how protective James is of both Al and Lily. He even tries to play matchmaker with Albus and Brandon &hearts; . That was really cute.

I still must ship Al and Scorpius, but you know my complete fangirl &hearts; love &hearts; of Brandon Savage, so I will root for him to be lucky in love in this story.

Scorpius and Corbin. Not sure what to think here. I can understand Al""s jealousy. Also, I know your penchant for creating characters that I just can""t hate, so I will leave the jury out on this one - for now.

The Pottery family dynamic is awesome. They are such a close family, but completely realistic at the same time. I wonder if Lily will be a bigger part of this story, now that she is a little older.

One more cheer for Brandon making it into the first chapter. Yay - Brandon - yay! &hearts;

And lastly, this was my very first mention/thank you in a chapter on the archives, so I must let out a squee for that! Thanks!

~Beth

Author""s Response: Beth!!!

For you it was a super short wait. Just think, some people have been waiting for this since February. :P

It is a novel!! I just hope I can pace it right - after zooming through Pure Intentions this will feel a bit slower for me.

I""m so happy you liked James. haha, yeah, he""s definitely not a playa. I don""t think he""s quite as lost with women as he lets on but, he has his motives. I thought his inability to hear about people he knows in a romantic sense (like how he kind of spazzed out at his parents holding hands) is because he doesn""t have a lot of experience himself. But, yeah, he""s definitely the older protective brother here.

:D I can""t say who will end up where but the Al/Scorp versus Brandon/Al will be solidified in this story. Eventually

You""ll get to know Corbin more as the story creeps on. I can""t say more about him yet though.

Yay! It""s good to hear that the Potters are realistic while being close. Lily will play more of a role as the story goes on. She""s an adult and can""t just be at Hogwarts all the time, lol.

I had to give you props - your R&Ring of Pure Inentions motivated me to revisit this plot idea.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!

-Rose



Name: kenpo (Anonymous) · Date: 27 Mar 2018 04:42 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: New Slang
Okay. I'm here. I'm excited. Whooop!!! It's my birthday!! I LOVE YOUR OPENING PARAGRAPH. How many revisions did that go through? It's so elegantly written, and just perfect. Is Al really happy to be independent, though? Hmm. I recall him being a tad needy. Has he matured? Yay for character development? Or yay for characters falling into old habits? I'll have to read on!! Oh, and I need to go review chapter three and the epilogue... I'll do that after this. Womp. Little correction: Albus' room, ""still asleep? I'm 100% sure if that works as a dialogue tag, so I don't want to say anything about whether it should be a comma or period (my instincts say period, but my instincts also told me to just put a can of tuna on some pasta and call it dinner), but ""Still"" should be capitalized. I like the use of magic to create a makeshift dressing room. I'm really awful at remembering to actually use magic... Hahaha!! At least Al got his trousers on before the curtain fell, right? Heh... heheheh... I really really like that you don't have James being wildly successful. It's a nice change from the norm. HAH! Al would know about what those blokes on the team are after, wouldn't he? I'm not sure how I feel about Lily. Opinions to come. Harry would not like hearing his daughter talk like that. Ginny might be slightly more understanding. Typo- Sunday Brunch, not Brunh The fact that Lily used whomever in a sentence actually says a lot about her character... I like the conversation between Al and Scorpius, but if I'm honest, it leaves a little bit to be desired. It seemed to move really quickly, on the boarder of too quickly. Dragon Tail. The theme song to the children's show just got stuck in my head. OH. WAIT. THE SHOW WAS CALLED DRAGON TALES BECAUSE IT WAS STORIES ABOUT DRAGONS. And Dragons have tails. Oh. Just got that one. The things I didn't get as a child... BRANDON. OH MY. BRANDON AND ALBUS AND SCORPIUS, OH MY Awww. Thanks for the shoutout in the A/N! I don't know how to make the hearts on here, so I'll just say :wub: even though it won't work. As a first chapter, I'm not sure. I really liked it, but are you intending on this being a sequel that could stand alone? It might benefit from giving a little bit more background info. If Pure Intentions is a prerequisite, this works splendidly as an opener! Yay!!! I can't wait for the next chapter!!! You didn't kill anyone! I'm proud. Author's Response: FIRST REVIEW!! YOU GET A PRIZE!! I got the first paragraph out in one go. I usually think a lot about an opening paragraph before I start writing so that comes out like butter but the rest can get a bit clumpy. About a year has passed between now and the end of Pure Intentions (I call that out in a later chapter when it becomes a bit more important) so he's had a chance to mature from his needy behavior. lol, you can read those whenever :) ah, I love that you point out my typos :D I've already gone back and edited the chapter actually. I changed up Scorpius and Al's conversation. It was too rushed. And I gave a bit more backstory on Brandon. I have a short explanation about Scorpius (where James rails against him) I just didn't see it feasible for everyone to be a huge success at quidditch. :D Al is quite knowledgable in that field. :P Lily is in a bad position here - she's just out of hogwarts, doesn't like being the baby sister, and wants to be all ""hey, I'm a grown up too"" but has horrible execution. Yeah, Harry would have an auror detail on Lily if he heard that. does it say something good or bad? :-/ Whoo! I changed it up a bit so that they don't just talk about the new dude. I almost called the pub Dragon Tales but then I decided it sounded like a children's book, lol. THERE ARE TOO MANY GUYS AND NOT ENOUGH OF SOMETHING ELSE. Welcome to the main issue of the story. I had to give you a shout out!! So, I did give more background on Brandon/Al and Scorp/Al but I'm not sure what else would give it satisfactory detail for a first chapter. :-/ blah Yay for not killing people!! I should get some chocolate for that. :D Thank you so much for leaving me an incredible review!! You're always really helpful! -Rose


Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 26 Jun 2017 04:32 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: There Goes the Fear

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

Diving straight into the middle of this story is somewhat disorienting, but I'm able to follow what's going on (I think) :) Apparently, I've jumped into the perfect day for a spot of quidditch. Albus is spectating with his boyfriend, Brandon, and his friend, Cindy. James, his brother, is playing and am I right in assuming (if she's watching the game in worry) that James is the romantic interest of Cindy? Oh - yay - that's explained in the next sentence. I feel terribly sorry for Lysander, finding out that his crush is dating someone else - that information was kind of sprung upon him and being in a public place means he'll probably want to keep his emotions under wraps. That's hard, pretending to others you're perfectly okay with something when you're not.

OOF! Poor James - a bludger to the back of the head, followed by a collision with a metal goal-post? That's got to hurt :( Understandably, Cindy finds this all a bit distressing, but what I feel bad for her is that she has sole responsibility of accompanying James to St Mungo's whilst Albus and Brandon go and inform the Potters. TBH, I thought it would be fairer if Brandon had also gone with Cindy for moral support?

Rose's idea to cast an experimental swelling charm on her pregnant friend so that she can see what she'll look like on her wedding day, is a particularly foolish one - what was Rose thinking??! A pillow is a far more sensible suggestion.

I like the stance that Lily took against her boss (related to Mafalda, perchance?) - she shouldn't have to report on her family like that. Surely even her boss could have some sense of compassion and there must be other reporters around to get the scoop on the story? Ohh, and her boyfriend proposes! Gosh, there's quite a lot happening in this chapter; I've certainly picked a busy one to review!

What's this? Scorpius with a man called Corbin? How refreshing that he isn't with Albus or Rose. But he was once with Albus? Hmmm. I wonder if they'll get back tgether again in the future, or whether it's all mapped out between Scorpius and Corbin?

I look forward to seeing what the next chapter has in store!

Brax X



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 26 Jun 2017 04:30 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: The Long Day of Vengeance

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

OMG! I'm reviewing these chapters out of synchrony, and I appear to have leaped straight into a domestic abuse scenario. Oh, ouch! :( Did Corbin REALLY hit his boyfriend? Yikes, Scorpius, don't ever go back to him. Leopards don't change their spots and all that. Get out whilst you still can. Gosh, even if Corbin saw red when Scorpius was sharing what might have seemed like an intimate moment with Rose, there is NO EXCUSE for violence, it's NEVER justified. OH I am so mad/sad on Scorpius's behalf.

Oh, and you're throwing MORE pain my way by telling me that Arthur Weasley is dead?? NO!! Poor Cora, being present and witnessing that - even if she is young, what she saw is potentially so damaging to her young mind. How awful and traumatic for all concerned. I hope Arthur didn't suffer in the end.

Oosh. Albus drops by to see Scorpius and they get a bit close. If Scorpius is thinking of kissing Albus, so soon after Corbin lashed out at him, then perhaps he isn't anywhere near as over Albus as either of them think? Maybe subconsciously, Corbin was aware that Scorpius was harbouring feelings for Albus and this made him jealous and insecure? It doesn't justify what he did, though. Sorry. Corbin still shouldn't get a second chance. It must have been hard for Albus to stand up against Scorpius in his moment of anguish and take the moral high ground, but I'm glad he did. Ugh, what a situation; if Albus is over Scorpius and in love with Brandon, but Scorpius still has feelings for Albus??

The brothers, out for revenge against Lily's ex, Archie. Uh-oh, boys, is this a good idea? Apparently, they think it is, and it would seem so does Lily after she gets her piece in first. Wow. The fists are really flying in this chapter.

And - OMG - HOW prejudiced is the Child Services group? Ooh, Josephina Wilcox, how could you?! I'm seething on Brandon's behalf.

Great chapter!

Brax X



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 10:19 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

*Transferred from HPFF*

Oh. The sadness of Arthur Weasley's funeral :( I think it's very fitting that he was laid to rest by the muggle section of the graveyard; he'd have liked and approved of that idea. Kingsley gave a speech, which was also a nice touch, bringing in some acquaintances from the past. I do feel that Kingsley is quite underrepresented in fanfiction, so it's lovely to see him here, even in such a sad capacity.

Poor Molly. OMG, my heart is breaking for her. 60 years of marriage and now she's alone. I hope the family will rally around and support her. I guess they will; the Weasleys are a close-knit bunch after all.

Rose. So alone too. I liked that she and Charlie found common ground here, but I'm intrigued by why Charlie feels that he doesn't deserve a second chance at love? Why? What happened? I imagined him as gay, so your Charlie fits in well with my headcanon. I hope there is someone out there for him in the future. I feel sad for Rose too, but I want her to actually want someone in particular, not just to be swayed by the idea of a relationship. Love for love's sake will never work, m'dear.

Uh-oh. Rose and Scorpius get a little close - surely Rose should know he's off bounds - and then Corbin rather awkwardly walks in at the wrong moment, even though nothing that untoward is going on. OHHH, hang on, Corbin; using violence is never going to solve problems. Bang out of order, mate.
One thing I was confused about was Rose describing Corbin as slightly taller than Corbin, and I didn't really get that bit?

Corbin DID NOT deserve that hug from Scorpius. Ugh, Scorp; should have kicked him straight out for that!!!

Excellent chapter again!

Brax X



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 10:18 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: A Satisfied Mind

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

Howdy! Just chasing some flags around, as you do...

Post wedding dress-shopping, and Rose decides to drop in on Scorpius whilst she's in Diagon Alley. He seems really happy about moving to Paris part-time, but I dunno; how do these things work with wizards? Will he keep having to book portkeys or adopt muggle ways of travelling? I'm not convinced it's going to work, but we'll see.

It was really sweet of Scorpius to agree to be Rose's date for Eliza's wedding, but I wonder how Corbin will view the whole situation, given that Scorpius is Rose's ex? Some partners would be a bit miffed by what Scorpius is doing...oh well, I'm sure we'll find out soon.

I'm kind off surprised at Rose. If she has been so hurt by Scorpius in the past, and it sounds as though their relationship has severely impacted on her ability to have another one afterwards, then I'm surprised she's managed to stay such good friends with him?

OMG Lily is getting married? But she's only 18 or 19 at the most; isn't that just a wee bit too young? Maybe he's her one true love, but there are very subtle little fissures in their relationship it seems, and the chemistry between them is, I dunno, a little off?

I'm glad James has recovered from his Quidditch accident.

Albus being trusted to take Cora to his grandparents - oh! So cute! But but but.Arthur?? NO!! How could this be? Poor, poor Molly. OMG, my heart is breaking for her :( and poor Cora having witnessed his death. Oh. So much sadness to end this great chapter on.

Brax X



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 10:17 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: The Wolves and the Ravens

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

I don't know exactly why, but it struck me as rather amusing for Albus to be giving James tips on how to chat up girls. Probably because James is frequently portrayed as some kind of Lothario and I have that image of him stuck in my hea, and also because Albus is gay, so his own experiences would probably be limited. It did make me chuckle, though.

Neither of Lily's brothers have met Archibald (what an old-fashioned name; I wonder if he'll live up to it? I'm imagining a Percy-esque character...), so it will be interesting to see what James and Albus think of him. I also laughed at the mental image of Albus gyrating on the dance floor.

I'm a bit surprised, after Albus intoning he wouldn't turn up to Brandon's flat whilst drunk, that he's "buzzed" - doesn't that mean tipsy? Or does it mean something else in this context? No - I suspect it means drunk as he ends up snogging some guy he's snogged many times before. Albus!! I'm glad for his sake that Rose stepped in and cut the union short. Who knows how much further he'd have gone, despite protesting that he was trying to escape? Naughty, considering he has Brandon at home.

Poor James; it's his party and it would appear that he's the only one without a partner or a hook-up for the night. Luckily, Cindy is in a similar position outside to provide him with a snog! Will this be a one-off, or will more happen between these two people? My one reservation is that it will get messy if they have a relationship which then fails, given that Cindy is Albus's friend...

Uugh. Baby puke. Bleurgh! But it causes an amusing situation of Rose and Brandon only partially clad and Albus choosing that moment to walk in. He covers the awkwardness well with humour, though!

I'm glad Corbin got on well with Astoria, even if it meant he sided with Scorpius's mother at times.

Another brilliant chapter :)

Brax X



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 10:16 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Hold Tight

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

I'm a bit confused with the opening line of this chapter - "What started out as weekly brunch with Lily's boyfriend.Harry and Ginny hadn't met Archibald" - how could they have been having weekly brunch with Lily's boyfriend Archie and yet not met him? Unless it's supposed to be Albus's boyfriend? that would make more sense. Apologies if I've got confused for no good reason (it happens).

I feel that the statement "pleased to make your acquaintance" is too formal a greeting for Harry to issue when welcoming Cindy (or any "new" guest) to his home; I feel like he would have been a bit more chatty and less severe-sounding?

Ooh dear. Archie doesn't hit it off terribly well with the Potters at brunch, perhas more specifically Harry, who cannot seem to let go of the fact that his daughter is no longer a little girl. I think Harry needs to loosen up a little bit here, TBH.

OMG, I cackled my head off at the "Could you pass me some sausage" line! That really cracked me up!

The introduction of Corbin to Draco went off better than I was expecting it to. Draco, unsure as to how to behave around his son and partner, is very lucky to have Astoria by his side, who isn't at all fazed. I think you did really well here with respect to handling Draco's character - he's nicely in keeping with canon :)

Oof. Bit of tension between Rose and Albus to end the chapter on. I liked the cute scenes chez Molly and Arthur.

Loved this chapter :)

Brax X



Name: clairevergreen (Signed) · Date: 14 Jun 2017 08:29 PM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Live and Let Die

Back for CTF!


Um, okay, that cliffhanger? Incredibly rude. Here I was, all ready to get mad at basically everyone in this chapter but Lily for not being able to make up their freaking minds and then you have to go and drop that ending on me. I'm just in awe of how you are able to craft such a well constructed story that I genuinely did not think that Brandon was hurt despite the fact that he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do that. I'm also still unbelievably annoyed at Albus and Scorpius for their complete inability to make up their minds. I know that Corbin is an incredible jerk, but I still think cheating is one of the worst things a person can do. Just...make up your minds jesus christ.


I also love the Rose plot line and the inclusion of Lily. With the backdrop of all the relationship drama, it's such a relatable struggle of trying to figure out what you're supposed to do with your life. As an almost senior in college, let me tell you, I relate to Rose absolutely too much for my own good, but it's fine. I mean, knowing you and your reputation, it's not going to end well but a girl can dream, right?


I look forward to figuring everything out!


Claire    



Name: clairevergreen (Signed) · Date: 14 Jun 2017 08:29 PM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: In the Waiting Line

Back for CTF!


I really love how you keep alternating perspectives. I feel like that could be distracting and overwhelming in such compressed doses, but you pull it off so well. I feel like the story wouldn't be the same without the jumps. This kind of story with all of the interconnected story lines. It really helps to see how everyone reacts to everything and gives the feeling of a whole complete story. Not that it wouldn't be without it, but you have such real and rich characters that it would be a shame if we didn't get inside all of their heads.


I also love how you have the big overarching plot but it breaks down to each separate character. It really gives the sense that they are all real people with real people problems that they need to figure out. I love how all of the problems intersect, but they still stand on their own. Like, Rose's story line could be its own story and so could the Albus/Scorpius/Brandon story line and even James could be on his own. But they all compliment each other so nicely that it would be a shame if we weren't able to get everything all at once. Basically, I am so ridiculous impressed with how you've balanced everything out.


Can't wait to read more!


Claire    



Name: clairevergreen (Signed) · Date: 14 Jun 2017 08:28 PM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Mr Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Back again for CTF!


Once again, your characters are so incredibly detailed, I can't even handle it. They feel so real and nuanced that I'm pretty sure I've met people exactly like them. It's a real talent and I can see why people get so attached to your characters.


I love the way that Scorpius is written especially. From the first couple chapters, it feels like he was kind of a jerk and used Albus and Rose, but here we see a much more vulnerable side of him. If I'm being honest, Corbin kind of gives me a creepy vibe. The possessive way that he treats Scorpius just freaks me out to no end. I mean, the whole "completely yours" thing is really cute and can be super romantic, but when it's preceded by "you're mine" said in a very possessive tone, it feels like Scorpius is definitely the one being manipulated, especially since Corbin is much older. I really want to know how this is going to end up between the two of them.


I also love the range of jobs that you've put into here. I know that I always struggle with finding unique jobs and you've certainly created a bunch of ones that I've never seen before. I really hope Rose gets her company off the ground, it sounds like a great idea and definitely something that I'd be interested in.


Once again, great job!


Claire



Name: clairevergreen (Signed) · Date: 14 Jun 2017 08:25 PM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: New Slang

Hey, Rose! I had some time so I figured I'd transfer some reviews from CTF :)

 

I'm a huge fan of your characters already and it's been one chapter. I, of course, have my own extensive headcanons for next gen but yours are absolutely perfect. I love Albus and how much we get from just small little reactions to everything. James as well is almost exactly like how I picture him: cocky and arrogant, but he still deeply cares about his family and friends. The little thing about him being the one to invite Brandon was a really nice touch that added to his character. The relationships that you've crafted are so realistic and well written that I can really imagine them.


I also love the amount of backstory that you've included in such little bursts. We get enough about Scorpius and AL and then Brandon and Al to have a guess at how everything is going to fall into place. I like that we don't have an entire chapter dedicated to how all of these characters relate and that we get it one bit at a time.


I also really love that it's a Next Gen story that does not take place at Hogwarts. It's always refreshing to see how everyone imagines the world beyond Hogwarts and, from what I understand, you have an extremely rich universe just waiting for me to explore beyond this story.


I look forward to coming back and getting to experience all this heartbreak that everyone talks about :)


Claire    



Name: lovegood27 (Signed) · Date: 14 Jun 2017 07:21 PM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Where the Wind Blows

*review transfer from HPFF for HPFT Final Exams Flying Lessons :)

Hi I'm here for Capture The Flag! :)

 

So, I kind of just jumped straight into this story without even reading the beginning, so apologies in advance that this review will be a bit all over the place.


I don't know who Eliza is, but it was nice to see she was getting married and still managing to meet up with her old school friends. I thought it was so sweet how she still wanted Rose and Agatha to be her bridesmaids, even though she didn't keep in close contact with them. But woah, getting pregnant just so she could ensure David stayed with her? That seems a bit...I don't know, not entirely honest? All I know was my reaction was similar to Rose's. To be honest, I don't know why anyone would want to call it 'genius', it sounds a bit clingy and desperate to me.

Sorry, I got a bit annoyed by that. Moving on! It was interesting how you made Scorpius' relationship with Astoria more stiff and formal. I felt like they kind of just had a lot of awkward small talk- not really what you would expect from a mother and son. Also, is she just another pure blood fanatic? I might have interpreted it wrong, but the line where she thought "as long as that person was unable to provide them with a grandchild". Did it mean she didn't want their bloodline to become tainted or something? I was curious to know :)

Aw, I don't usually read Albus/OC male but this was really cute. And I loved the name Cora, it sounds really pretty. It seemed like Albus and Brandon had had an argument concerning a date, or something like that. If they did, I'm glad they made up :) (But I do hope Scorpius can hurry up and figure out his feelings)

Great job! :D

 

 



Name: dirigibleplums (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2017 02:59 PM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Simple Song

Another transferred review over here :)

 

Hello there!

As you can see, I'm jumping all over the place to see where this darn flag has been hidden.

This was a rather short chapter but - seeing as how it's the final one - that is completely understandable. It's here to tie up loose ends, cut off the fic neatly and concisely. There's still some uncertainty about the future and not everything is concrete, laid out perfectly for the rest of their lives, but it ends at a nice point.

Since I'm a young 'un, I haven't necessarily been in Al's position but can understand the fear of having people you've known your entire life just move away. It's a mark of your adulthood, the fact that these people are going off to live their own lives. The ties that bind you together may not withstand the distance. They might fray from the effort of holding you together. Things inevitably change when people are physically apart so Al's grumbling is perfectly understandable.

I was surprised to see that Scorpius is giving up his dream. From what Al's saying, his relationship with Corbin doesn't particularly sound the healthiest either (which actually explains why he might do it). This was wbat he worked up to for ages. And now he's moving to a different country. I respect that people give up a lot for their other halves every day but it's still a little surprising.

I mean, I'm assuming he's moving, right?

"Help wanted - shop manager" coupled with his bombshell does suggest that, after all. 😛

Plums xo



Name: dirigibleplums (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2017 02:57 PM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Only Myself to Blame

hi, there!

 

i figured it's high time that i FINALLY start transferring reviews over to hpft so i have arrived to do just that. (i know you've said that ao3 has the up-to-date version of this and i reviewed in a haphazard way on hpff but every little helps, right? 😜)

 

Hello there!

Tis I, a wild Plums, here to review this chappie for the CTF event!

I've seen this around on the archives a fair bit and kept up with it too before I did a classic Me move and... forgot to carry on? In my defence, it was a WIP and I am rather awful with them. But here I am, blessed with this on my screen again!

It was strange reading this chapter because I just read Blackbird and, well, I'm pretty damn sure I know what Al's decision is in the future 😜 Don't worry, my boy, you're head over heels for this guy and completely adore Cora too (you know, since she's your daughter and all)! All of this worrying will soon fade away.

Of course, it's natural to worry. From what I'm reading here, I can empathise with both Brandon and Albus. Like Brandon says, he needs stability in his life. He's a father now and he wants his daughter to grow up in a secure environment, preferably with someone else in the equation to support her. On the other hand, that can be a lot to digest. Moving in with someone, forming a family with them - it's not something to take lightly. So I can see why Al needs time.

I do find it interesting though that the reason they separated was because Al was essentially using Brandon as an emotional clutch whereas now he's hesitant to go all in at once.

Ooh, I wasn't expecting to see Rose and Lily's POV here. From the story summary, I was expecting Brandon and Al 24/7 but it's nice to gain an insight into other people's lives. Rose has a really interesting job, I must say, and Lily+Archie are cute.

Plums xo
b25;b25;b25;



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 10 Jun 2017 04:58 AM · [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: New Slang

Aaaalrighty, Rose! It is way past time for me to start reading your stories, and I see so much about it (but mostly about how you break readers' hearts so *gulp*) 

 

Okay the first thing I'm loving and am now in awe of throughout the whole chapter is your dialogue. It flows so naturally and between the characters - especially James and Albus - it sounds so real. Teach me your ways!

 

Scorpius being called a creep is so Cursed Child reminscient. When I first read that I was like wait, a fic where not everyone likes Scorpius?! Ooh but he and Albus had a fallout? What's that about, I wonder?

 

"He's pretty but kind of dim." - Dis me.

 

Oooooh BRANDON. From what I've read I think this is the main love interest with Albus? Maybe? I guess I'll have to read and find out but I'm keeping a close eye on him anyway.

 

"At least one of them has to have a weakness for hunky blokes who are good on a broom." Yeah, good luck James HAHA. I think his chances are good XD  

 

This is awesome so far, Rose! I'm kicking myself that it took me this long but better late than never, right? I love your writing style, too (since this is also my introduction to it, oops) it's wonderful and natural and addicting and amazing <3



Name: dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap (Signed) · Date: 18 May 2017 01:37 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:True Romance Chapter: Where the Wind Blows

“David’s affections seemed to be waning so - oops - there I was pregnant.”


She DID not just say that out loud. 
You do NOT admit that. 
You keep it to yourself. 
For the love of...no tact whatsoever!
That's horrible. 
“You’re my anchor and I trust you.” 

This line actually made me emotional. I just feel so bad for Brandon. He lost a woman he cared for and now he has a child that he has to learn to care for. Obviously he already feels connected and loves his daughter but he has to learn how to be a parent and then he has this love for Albus, because does love him, and Albus just doesn't know how to feel. If he knew about his true feelings and his doubts I think it would crush Bran because he's in such a fragile state right now. Albus is an idiot though because he DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH SCORPIUS!
I wish the two of them would stop acting like fools. They were each other's first loves. I get it. That was their first relationship and they have a past and a friendship. It's hard to let go but they just both need to accept that the past is the past. It'll ruin their future if they don't just let it be. You're killing me Curly Q. 


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