Hello! I'm here for the review tag, and I'm glad it's brought me here. I've heard so much about this story, and I know this is only the first chapter, but I can already tell it'll live up to the hype. I've also never read a story set in the time where Tom Riddle is still at Hogwarts, so I think that prospect is very interesting and I'm fairly intrigued.
I think this is a perfect first chapter. You introduced the cast of your characters in a nice way (even though they may not be so nice. I'm worried this might be the kind of story that only involves unrelateable characters; even though that's one of the things I enjoy about stories sometimes). I want to say many bad words regarding Finn and his 'gang'. You'd think one should at least be good at something before they start making fun of other people, but that's not how the world goes, huh? In any case, I will try to hold back my judgment for later because he seems conflicted about the death of his sister (the circumstances and details of which I'm so eager to know).
It's also important that I take a moment to address your portrayal of Tom Riddle. I can't imagine he's an easy character to get in the head of/write, but I think you've done a great job with it so far. He is so goal-oriented and that especially comes off in the scene where all the other boys are making jokes. Slytherin tunnel vision and all.
So far, I find this very interesting and I can see why it's so popular. I'm definitely gonna becoming around more often.
So, Harry was a Wizarding archeologist and most probably Brindley's father, and a dark wizard was looking for something that Harry had, but we don't know what that is yet. I'm willing to bet one of my limbs that Brindley is the Potter child! And this Monty who is her brother will have some sort of records from being at Hogwarts with a last name! We are so close to finding things out I can taste it! The Hallow must be Gordic's Hallow! Yes, and the dark wizard is Grindelwald and IC is invisibility cloak and Brindley is the freaking Potter Child! I knew it! Yass, Finlay is going to protect Brindley from Grindelwald because he loves her!
Oh, the coup! Oh Finlay...what are we going to do with him? Haha, Brindley teasing Finn about his boo-boo; poor Finlay. Oh heck, I wasn't expecting that. I mean, I wanted Brindley undying cofession of love, but I'd much prefer her to be sober for it. Oh my goodness, poor drunken Brindley is hilarous--'I've never been here in my entire life", oh my goodness, and tricking Finlay into talking to a barrell...I'm dead. You've killed me.
Goodness, things are heating up. Poor Finlay. GOOD BOY, FINLAY--GOOD BOY! He's a gentleman, wouldn't you know it? Oh and KISSES! FINALLY! I mean, probably not under the right circumstances, but oh my goodness! Oh Finlay NO! You can't just kiss Brindley and go and kiss Lucretia -- oh my word! Did he just call Brindley's name? He did--HE DID! Aahh
Such an exciting chapter!!
B! I finally made it to reviewing the end of this wonderful, wonderful story! Thank you so much for sharing it with us <3
Ah, Finn's mother - I'm so glad that she's there and that she made that Portkey! I think it reminded me most of Narcissa, who'll do whatever it takes to protect her child, and it rang really true that she would be the one to do whatever she could to get her son out of it.
I was so glad that Finn was able to get there and find Brindley, even if I didn't think they were going to be able to get out of it - especially when Tom saw him, and he was carted off to the basement. But I think it meant so much to Brindley to know that he was there, and that he wanted to fight for her.
I'm actually pretty happy that Fleamont had hidden the real Invisibility Cloak, and that Grindelwald didn't find the real one. And I liked Fleamont when he was in the basement - the fact that he didn't seem to care much for himself, and just wanted Finn to make sure that he got Brindley out of there.
The scene with Grindelwald and Brindley was so intense and so well written. I thought you characterised Grindelwald really well, particularly with the way that he enjoyed explaining about how powerful he was; it's the same sense of triumph that we see later in Voldemort, and it fits well with their characters.
FINN LOVES BRINDLEY FINN LOVES BRINDLEY.
Thank Merlin for Finn's mum turning that vase into a Portkey, and getting them out of there. You wrote their escape really well, especially with how chaotic and panicky it seemed, because it helped plunge us into the same feelings as Finn at that point.
I was so, so worried when they arrived on the beach and Brindley wasn't breathing and she'd gone. I didn't think you'd do the same thing, but you don't have a great track record with not killing characters I like, so I guess I should say thank you for not killing Brindley :P And even better - the curse effects have been cancelled out and she's actually healthy and going to live again, yay!
The ending was so lovely and sweet. After all they've been through together to get to this point, I was so happy to see that they've got a brighter future - but also that you didn't just wipe away all the bad things that have happened and that Finn and Brindley have acknowledged that those are things they have to try and work through. If you ever want to write more of these two, you have another willing reader!
Argh oh my goodness, it's so hard to find the words to review this properly because so much has happened and it's so intense, and it's amazing and terrible and terrifying at the same time.
Finn found Fleamont! I'm not surprised that Fleamont didn't believe that he had a sister, or that his father had been unfaithful, but it was really interesting to see him - and it was such an intense scene. I couldn't believe it when Tom and the others turned up! I wonder if Tom suspects that Finn went there for his own reasons, rather than to try and help Grindelwald's cause, but at least Finn has the Invisibility Cloak now - that's one hope, that he'll be able to use it. If not to protect Brindley, then at least to find her.
Alenya Hills! I'm so sad that Finn actually gave her name to Grindelwald instead of Brindley's - I knew that he wouldn't give up Brindley but it still upsets me that another girl has died unnecessarily for what he's done.
And Bash! Tom is so good at picking out the people he needs and convincing them to do what he wants, so it doesn't surprise me that he's managed to convince Sebastian that he's helping him to get his family back, but it's so sad that Sebastian has done all of those things which have put so many people's lives in danger. I just really hope that Finn manages to fix it, and find Brindley...
Okay, I read that first section several times and I'm still not sure what on earth Finn has told Grindelwald. And I NEED TO KNOW. I'm sure he hasn't sold out Brindley, but if he's gone and told Grindelwald that Alenya Hills is the girl that he's looking for, I won't be impressed. He's been making so much progress!
I loved the scene with Brindley and Finn, when he took her out to the mountain so that she could dance out there. It was so, so sweet of him to do something like that for her, and to show that he remembered what she said, even when he hadn't apparently liked her or paid any attention to her. These two are just so cute and lovely together - it's almost like it was inevitable, they have so much chemistry and it's lovely to read.
And the matching Rune birthmarks! Looks like they were made for each other :P
I loved the fact that you conveyed so much about how Finn feels for Brindley with that one line, about how he was still there by morning.
Hero! Ah, it was so great to see her again, even if it was because of the Resurrection Stone - and to see her from Finn's perspective. I liked the fact that Finn seemed to have come to terms with her death more, and her appearance didn't have the same impact on him that the stone has on other people, but I'm glad that she got the chance to warn him about Tom.
And now the stone has gone to Grindelwald - that's really interesting, and makes me wonder whether or not Tom ever realised the significance at the time, and how he got it back from Grindelwald. Here's hoping that Brindley and Finn can stay safe, though... At least now, Finn has realised exactly what Tom is!
NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOO!!!
Okay. Ahem. Attempt at a coherent review.
I was so glad at the start of the chapter that Finn was still deliberating over what to do about Henry Potter's illegitimate child. I mean, I can't imagine him giving up Brindley, but at the same time I really don't want him to throw Alenya Hills into Grindelwald's path for no reason whatsoever.
The scene with Ben was really cute. I knew it! I knew that it must have been a Muggle boy, and that's why his father had had a problem with whatever happened over summer. It's so sweet that he likes Radbourne, and that Rad hasn't just turned round and rejected him - but it's so horrible that Tom controls what they all do to such an extent. I wonder if they'd have wanted to make friends with him when they were younger if they'd known the effects he'd have on their lives later on.
Anyway, that scene was really cute with Finn being so accepting - I don't think he'd have managed it before Brindley - and Ben throwing his own words back at him when he talks about the Hufflepuff girl. So they've definitely noticed.
Tom is definitely not as charming around his friends as he is with new people, is he? It's easy to see the fear that his friends are feeling and them doing what he says as a result, but I'm glad that Dumbledore is pretty wise to Tom and isn't going to put his own life in danger very easily. Tom is so arrogant that he thinks he'll have any plan mastered, so it's no wonder he never takes kindly to Dumbledore - especially when he's showing him up in front of Grindelwald.
The scene with Brindley in the greenhouses was so sweet! Ah, they've finally talked about how they feel, and Finn has decided that he wants to spend that time with her - I'm so strangely proud of him for making the journey he's come on already, though I think he's got a long way to go still. I kind of feel like he should tell her about the danger that she's in, but I can understand why he wouldn't, too.
THE ENDING. I'm so stressed! I need to read on immediately and find out what Finn tells Grindelwald about Henry Potter's child!
B! I'm back!
Ooh, I loved the way that you threw us right into the attempted coup at the Ministry - it really helped to make us feel the way that Finn was caught up in all the chaos, and wasn't really sure what he was doing there. The fact that it ended so abruptly and quickly helped convey the panic that Finn was feeling - everything seemed to happen to him very suddenly, and it really showed the fact that he wasn't comfortable in that environment. Probably even less comfortable than he would have been previously, because he's starting to change his opinions and thoughts on things.
Wow. They don't expect very much of two schoolboys, do they? I wonder if that's where Tom got the idea to test Draco later on, because he knows that it can be used to keep families in line. The sense of terror that's used to make people obey came through very well here, and especially with Jameson - Finn has to grow up and do what's necessary now to keep his family alive, because they're so heavily involved.
In a way, even if it weren't for the Muggle objections, I could understand Finn's parents' concern about the car - especially after what happened to Hero.
Brindley! Ah, she's so brave and amazing, and to come to terms with something like that must be horrible - but I really hope that something can be done to help her, and I'm pretty sure that Finn will try and do anything that he can to stop her from suffering.
I wonder how long he can manage like this without his friends picking up on the fact that he's drifting away from them, and towards Brindley, though - and whether that will endanger them both.
Ah, oh my goodness - I can understand why Finn would want to protect Brindley from Grindelwald, but it can't be any better to throw someone completely innocent into their path... I hope he doesn't do it!
I like how through Finn's narrative, McCroy has now transitioned to Brindley. (And, of course, it's because he lurves her <3.) Having her missing from class is worrying, though. "Whatever the reason..." the less he sees of her is not the better, because he's completely ignoring his love for her (I mean, I get that he doesn't see that yet, or maybe it's be hardcore sailing the ship here, but they're adorable, and Finn is trying to avoid her at all costs). And then, of course, there's Sebastian and the whole might-be-the-Potter-child thing (and a cousin who may or may not be attending Illvermony?). There are SO many questions that need answering!
And, oh snap! Sebastian with the dummy-exploding! I'd be worried for the bullies as well ^.^ .
Heh, that and I don't think Finn really wants to mess with Brindley :p, she's a fiesty one! So, her mother was killed by dark wizards (for an inexplicable reason) and she was presented to her Muggle grandparents as a newborn -- you know, I'm back on that maybe Brindley is actually the Potter-child side again! I'm so anxious for them to translate these runes for some more clues! OH! And this guy in the letters--his name is HARRY!? Brindley is totally the Potter child and you're totally going to make me cry! St-ah-p!
Heheheh, the almost-compliment, thwarted just in time! These two are adorable. They will have adorable babies *cough*. And the comments on the group of Hufflepuffs not being afraid of him was hilarious--he had absolutely no idea what to do about that -- how dare they?! And Brindley's trust brings us back to our ship.
And then, of course, the whole bit with Finn and the car is wonderful (I also really appreciated the story about how the animangi badgers dug a tunnel for the student's to escape). OH MY GOSH WAS THAT AN ALMOST-KISS? IT WAS! IT WAS! Gosh dang it, Will. Shoo! Shoo! Well, I'll take some hand-holding (but yeah, what's up with the bruises?). Eeeee!
Such a good chapter!
Ah, bless Brindley, trying to work out some of the Runes and Finn encouraging her. If anyone tries to tell me that Finn doesn't like Brindley after this chapter, I will fight them :P
I wonder how on earth Finn is explaining all of these extra Runes sessions with a Hufflepuff to his friends now that the Care of Magical Creatures project is over? I wonder if Tom already knows and is just waiting to use the information to get back at Finn...
And we finally find out Brindley's back story! I actually felt kind of sorry for Finn as he was translating the letters and everything suddenly fell into place for him - the relief that it isn't Sebastian that Grindelwald is after, but it's Brindley instead. One person he cares about replaced by another in the sights of the most dangerous wizard in the world. How on earth is he meant to tell Brindley that? I can understand him wanting to get away from her so quickly at that point, because I don't know how you'd explain that to someone - and he's going to have a big decision to make about it, too.
Ah, the blanket fort scene was so cute! And I laughed so much at Brindley making Finn talk to the barrels and just giggling at him. But it was so lovely seeing them away from other people and the expectations that others have for them, just enjoying a sweet and normal moment between two young people. Although it was more than just a bit of fun - which is why it scares Finn so much and why he has to go and be an idiot at the end of this chapter. I'm not impressed, Mr Blishwick, not impressed at all.
Hello B <3
Almost. Almost, Finn? Methinks that you notice far more about Brindley than you're meant to or really want to at this point in time, but you're just not prepared to admit it to yourself yet. Almost *shakes head*
Ooh, I think Sebastian might be onto something with his suspicions about Scout and Ilvermorny. I feel so sorry for the poor kid, because his parents obviously love him but there's so much family pressure and he's been made to feel that he doesn't belong anymore just because of his blood status. The Blishwick family definitely have a lot of secrets, and it wouldn't be surprised if Scout was another one and they were covering something up about her to avoid rumours or "shame". Maybe she's a Squib?
It's really nice to see Finn in his element translating the Runes for Brindley - so far we've seen a lot of his academic insecurities, and how Brindley is much more studious and confident than he is, so it's great to see that dynamic switched around a bit here. And we're getting to learn something about her backstory with Brindley, which is really interesting. I wonder if she could be the child that Grindelwald is looking for...
I'm kind of surprised to see Finn sneaking away from school to go and see a Muggle film, but at the same time not wanting to seem a coward in front of Brindley feels very in character. Brindley saying that she trusts him is so cute, and I hope that Finn will manage to live up to that trust.
Ooh, the two adoption certificates for Sebastian were so interesting and unusual! I wonder what happened to his first set of adoptive parents to make them give him up for adoption again. And who his real parents were... I know there's real concern there for Sebastian, so Finn can't be all bad in his pureblood beliefs, but I feel like Sebastian is a red herring. I wonder why those adoption certificates are in the Blishwick file, too...
I don't think I could just casually appear in a room full of Grindelwald supporters - and Grindelwald himself - like Finn did here. I suppose it shows how they're brought up not to show their feelings and betray themselves. But it's a really severe punishment to Finn's dad for the mistake with the file, and I think it's going to serve to make Finn realise how serious this is, and what mistakes and not paying attention could cost him and his family in this game.
Ooh, we finally got more hints at what happened with Ben this summer! That helped satisfy my curiosity a bit - though I still want to know more, haha. Was the Muggle a guy, and that's why his dad was bothered by it?
Tom is so scary and malicious. The fear that Finn felt then when he heard that Tom had a Hufflepuff student to question shows that he's starting to feel something for Brindley - for all his flirting and attempts to convince her that she feels something for him, I don't think it can be denied that there's a little feeling growing in him, too :P
Ah, I'm so worried about Brindley - the way she speaks sometimes makes it clear that she doesn't think she'll be around for very long, and I'm not sure I can take it if you go and kill her as well as Hero :( but I'm so intrigued by this letter that Finn is going to translate for her, and what its contents might be...
Ah, so the diary makes an appearance - as does Tom's little smirk of superiority because he knows so much more than his friends do, and he has all of these secrets that he's keeping to himself. I really love the way that you're weaving all of those little details in about Tom, using what we know about how he began on his path to becoming Lord Voldemort and having those little details make an appearance in the story. They seem so insignificant to Finn, but mean so much to the reader, and you're making us more aware of the person Tom's becoming than Finn is - of course, he's already killed several people at this point...
The Slytherin boys are so horrible, though. Poor Brindley with her cough - I'm glad that Finn was feeling sympathy for her, because it sounds serious... Not enough sympathy to do anything about it in the library, of course - at least, not yet - but at least he stopped Patrick from being awful (I have a few choice words for Patrick and none of them are polite) later on. I definitely detected a hint of jealousy in Finn's thoughts, there, even though he hasn't realised it yet.
Ugh, Finn! Just when I think this boy is getting somewhere and might turn a corner in the next few chapters, he goes and does something mean and selfish like decide which department they're going to with no concern for Brindley whatsoever. The opportunity means so much more to her than him, in the grand scheme of things, but he's so used to getting what he wants that he can't see past that. Of course, the threat of displeasing his family and Grindelwald is kind of an excuse, but he's still being a jerk.
Brindley is super sweet, though, being determined to enjoy the day even though it's not her choice of department. And her humour makes me laugh, too. I like the way that she actually knows so much about different things and keeps surprising Finn with that knowledge - though at least he managed to surprise her at the end, too!
And HE KNOWS ABOUT THE SPIDER!! Well, kind of, but I think what Brindley has told him will definitely put him on the path to suspecting something was suspicious about Hero's death. YAY!
Finn? Wanting to do homework? Someone check his temperature - maybe take him to Madam Pomfrey?
Actually, though, I thought it was a really good way of showing that - even if Finn doesn't much like it - he doesn't want to get on the wrong side of Tom, because he knows that he needs to do what Tom says to stay in favour both with him and with his family and Grindelwald. It's a lot for one boy to live up to, but I suppose that homework is as good a place to start as any.
Your characterisation of Malfoy is really interesting - he seems much quieter and more reserved than his grandson, who's pretty much a spoilt brat at this age. In fact, Finn reminds me more of Draco than Malfoy does, with the way that he's trying to brag about how important his family is and the fact that he's been given a mission for Grindelwald. I wonder if the strain of that mission will have the same effect on Finn as Draco's had on him.
Of course, Finn's strange desire to do homework helps him run into Brindley, which is no bad thing. I'm really enjoying their interactions, and the way that they're both so defensive and barbed with each other at the moment. There's definitely some chemistry there already, but it's clear that both of them aren't recognising it yet and they're dancing around it - almost trying to conform to what would be expected of their behaviour towards each other. I'm so looking forward to seeing their dynamic play out.
Your characterisation of Slughorn, and especially his dialogue, was great. Him having favourites is nothing new, and it's so obvious that Tom is well aware of that fact and has been planning to use it for a while, which is why he wants them to stay in Slughorn's good books. Him staying behind to ask the question about Horcruxes shows how self-serving he is - for now he's happy to serve Grindelwald as long as it will get him connected to those who are powerful and involved in dark magic, but he'll take the power for himself soon enough. It's intriguing to think what would have happened if Tom had become powerful enough before Dumbledore met Grindelwald in a duel!
Finn's stomach growling made my stomach growl. I'm blaming him entirely for that :P
This chapter was so interesting - it's so intriguing seeing Tom from Finn's perspective after we spent the last novel reading about him from Hero's. The glamour and charm that seemed to surround him then - at least in the early chapters - doesn't seem to be as present here, and he seems to be slightly more open and more himself around the Slytherin boys and Finn.
You write his character so well - the way that he shows different aspects of his personality to different people, depending on what he wants from them and the circumstances. The Slytherin boys are supposedly his friends, and yet it's clear to see that he considers himself above them - and I think Finn is really starting to realise that, too. Tom is so condescending at times in this chapter, and getting used to giving orders, and the character that we see later on (in both the memories from his younger days, and when he's Voldemort) is really starting to emerge here.
Ah, Brindley! She actually reminds me so much of myself at school, haha. If I'd been paired with someone like Finn, I'd definitely have been doing their work as well, even without a Ministry internship dependent on it. I like the way that you're letting us (and Finn) glimpse different aspects of her character here with the chance encounters, even before anything starts happening between them.
Ooh, the Knights of Walpurgis! I really liked the way that you included that little detail, and where it came from. I bet Tom won't be happy that Finn chose the name - just as he isn't very happy about him failing to get the records. Something tells me that Finn is nowhere near as single-minded as Tom :P
Ah, there was so much packed into this chapter. I really enjoyed the opening, though it seemed so ordinary and mundane - I'm intrigued by the way that Ancient Runes are obviously connected to Finn (with his birthmark and everything), and now they're appearing in his dreams. I imagine the poor boy hasn't had many dreamless sleeps since Hero died.
I liked the way that you've thrown Finn and Brindley together, but also the fact that it's clear that these two have had to work together in the past and it isn't just coming out of the blue. Brindley is brilliant - I loved the way that she wasn't afraid to stand up for herself with Finn being so rude and condescending, and her passion and determination really come through in the scene when they're discussing the Ministry internship. I'm definitely going to like her - and I'm intrigued to see what effect she has on Finn.
The cough is worrying me, though - and I'm sure it's meant to. Oh dear. You don't have a great track record of being nice to characters I like.
It's so interesting to see Finn and Tom being giving work to do for Grindelwald at this point in time - even though they're only at school, it sets a clear precedent for the way that Voldemort later gets Draco to do tasks for him to "prove himself". I'm a bit worried about who the poor student might be here, and what they'll do if they find them - and the plans that Jameson has for Finn with that internship.
Ooh, and what did Ben get up to over the summer? These pureblood kids keep doing intriguing, secretive things over their summer holidays and I want to know what's been going on :P
B! I thought this was the perfect opportunity to finally leave some reviews for this wonderful story!
After what happened to Hero, it's so bittersweet to start this story, knowing as a reader what happened to her and yet realising, at the same time, that Finn doesn't know and at this point doesn't even seem to suspect that Tom had anything to do with Hero's death. I thought you conveyed his sadness really well here - he never seemed to be very open about his feelings with Hero, but for all he tried to annoy her, she was still his sister and his twin, so of course he's going to be devastated. I really liked the way that you showed that without going into the way he was feeling immediately after her death. His efforts to hide his real feelings from everyone around him, even when his sister has died, rings so true for his character and this time period.
The parallels between the start of this novel and the start of Hero work really well, too, because I can't help noting how much has changed in just that period of time - and wonder if Finn will come to the same end as his sister...
I loved the way you built up the background to Finn's character and what's been happening in his life since Hero died. Of course Grindelwald's supporters would still want to press on and use the Blishwick house as a base. It was interesting to see Finn struggling more with school than his sister did - I liked the way that he reminded himself of the power he was hoping to gain and held onto that when he was made to feel inferior.
The dynamics between Finn and the other Slytherin boys are really interesting - obviously Tom is the leader (and has the ring, now!) but I get the impression that Finn, at least, resents that a little at times, and he doesn't want to have to follow what Tom says forever. I'm intrigued to see how the dynamics will play out in the rest of the novel - and I spy a Brindley, too!
:P Totally procrastinating over here until Deana finds out and makes me write. However, we'll call this NaNo encouragement for you, because I feel like I haven't had the chance to encourage you enough!
Here we go. So, I first want to say, OH SNAP! Could Sebastian be the Potter child! Oh...oh, no! The double-adoption plus the father's name listed on the certification as Henry would be a crazy coincidence (if it were a coincidence)! I have no idea if you're leading me on or not! Ahhh!
Holy buttery biscuits, Batman! If I floo'd into a room full of Grindelwald and his supporters I might actually pee my pants. *cough* I mean, be calm cool and collected. *cough* Oh my goodness--it was Finn's fault that Rutherford was caught and the mission failed--all because he left the letter on Fisher's desk! And his father was punished because of it! Oh my goodness! D: Poor Finlay! Poor Jameson!
Heheh, those boys are up to trouble! Finn probably needs to blow off a little steam anyway after what happened which makes it especially nice that Tom's not going with them so that they don't have to watch how they act/what they say. It's a carefree night *rubs hands together* what sorts of mischief will ensue!?
Oh, YES! I've been waiting for the conversation about Ben and the Muggle! And Fin was even nice enough to ask him about it after the others left. Too bad they didn't get to finish their chat. OMIGOSH >< They've been found out! Abort mission! :P :( Destruction of secret entrances is so not cool Radbourne. Not cool at all.
D: :D D: Oh my goodness, this whole next scene with Finn going to the hospital wing and hearing about McCroy's grandmother's death and how it made her condition worse (WHICH I STILL MUST KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! HOW LONG WILL YOU KEEP ME WAITING? :P) and with the anniversairy of Hero's death and the cuddling and the crying. I'm sad but screaming inside with glee because they're blowing that wind that sailing mah ship again! What are you trying to do to my emotions?!
Awe, is that baby Nagini? What a cute little man-eating Snake, yes she is... AND DOUBLE AWE, Finn was concerned that it was McCroy <3. I freaking love those two. Can't you just have her help him slowly change his ways and they figure out how to fix her condition and they run away together, get married, live on a hilltop overlooking the sea and have lots of Blishwick babies? Please? No, of course not, you're going to make me cry :( . And the worse part is is that I'm so addicted to this, knowing I'm going to be sad, and I can't even stop. So.
D: That poor little Hufflepuff boy! How does Finn even put up with Tom? I mean, yeah, I get that he's terrifying and that doing anything against him is probably worse than just going with his crazy flow, but still. Poor boy :(.
Also, I think a broom cupboard is the perfect place for Finn and McCroy to be together...*cough* Ha! She totally knows he sneaked those files out of there :P. 'She was evil' ...ahaha! I'm dying! Also NOW WHAT?! So many questions still! What's with the runes? What secrets does it hold? YOU'RE KILLING ME! And those two are completely adorable together!
Anyway... HAPPY NANO'ING! BEST OF LUCK AND MANY WORDS AHEAD! Also, amazing chapter, as per usual!
Hello, hello! :D
Eeeeek! Seeing the origins of Tom Riddle's diary and the beginnings of research on potions such as the one used to protect the locket (which is what I assume is being inferred with the mention of the potion/spell that worsens over time, etc.) is awesome (and scary). I'm completely fangirling the fact that you've been weaving Tom Riddle's story into this as well; while I'm usually not a huge fan of his origins, this is EPIC. I freaking love it.
Anyway. Poor McCroy! At least Radbourne stuck up for her--Finn's guilt isn't enough; he needs to step up his game! And, yeah, I totally wouldn't be arguing with Tom Riddle about getting a potion's book. O.O He's so frightening, you're doing such an amazing job with his characterization!
Ahh, bit jealous is he? :D I'm so stoked that he decided to jump in when he heard McCroy say no, that gives my ship some wind in its sails. Speaking of -- what a jerk, Patrick! Also, Ben's Muggle, ehhhh? A bit of insight to the What Happened with Ben Last Summer quandary, I suspect! And while I know McCroy could probably handle her own, spunky thing that she is, I still stand my ground in thinking that it's adorable that Finn stepped in.
Hooray!! McCroy and Finlay's adventures to the Ministry of Magic! I'm super excited for this to happen...especially since their little adventure is going to prove exponentially adventurous with whatever Finn will have to do on his super-secret-mission that I'm sure he'll be stuck with.
D: Oh no! Mah SHIP! Wow, they can squabble with the best of them. I mean, I completely understand where McCroy is coming from--her heart is set on this, she wants this, she needs it. I can also understand where Finn's coming from--with all the pressure from his family and their expectations, on top of having to do whatever it is that his father is expecting him to do while at the Ministry (which is something I'm almost certain he's unable to refuse), it puts him in a spot, too. However -- mah ship!
OH FINLAY NOOO! He totally went behind McCroy's back on that one! There goes my ship, right down to the cold ocean floor. Poor ship. He's such a sneaky...person, because anything else I could call him at this moment might break the rating limits for reviews, so you'll have to use your imagination.
So, back to our Finaly and McCroy adventures at the Ministry! (I'm am extremely pleased that, although McCroy's department of choice was swept out from beneath her feet, she's still so positive about the experience! She's such a sweetheart!) Finn is slick! I'm dying to know what's in the file, now! Tell me, tell me, tell me!
Oh gosh, Finn! Eyes to yourself! :D Haha! OMG -- small medium at large! That kills me! McCroy is amazing <3, that was too funny, cheesy joke or not! ;) I'm glad that Finn found it funny, too.... (I'm not saying anything, though, because everytime I type something about Finn and McCroy, they nearly kill each other).
:( So there's a bit of mystery surrounding Hero's death, is there? Was she murdered -- I think I'm missing a piece of the puzzle here (I'm assuming that there's more information about Hero in another piece...I'll have to track it down once I'm finished here).
McCroy's bad luck is horrible! Her mother died when she was born and she never knew her father, coupled with whatever is wrong with her (WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME!) and my theory still holds that SHE is the Potter-child. D: I'm going to wind up crying like a big baby. I know it. At least Finn feels something about it... but there's no point in buying a house because McCroy's gonna die and, darling, you're going to kill me!
Ahhhh! Those two are completely adorable when they're getting along! I'm so excited for this and so VERY afraid of you breaking my poor heart into all kinds of little pieces!
Wonderful job, as usual!
Hello, hello, hello! (4/4 but obviously I'll be back for more because how can I stop now?)
:D I find it hysterical that Finn couldn't sleep because he felt the need to do homework. I mean, I get it -- with the wrath of Tom still hot in his memory, it totally makes sense that he'd want to make sure that he followed Tom's future instructions to the 'T'. Of course, without his housemates' essays to copy from and lacking the appropriate text leads to a late-night adventure (hooray)!
Finn's complete oblivion about what's happening between Briony and Malfoy is amazing (at least, that's what I'm picking up from the contextual evidence). No matter, though, because Finn's off on a book-finding adventure and I can only imagine what he'll stumble across along the way.
Or WHOM! McCroy! Insufferable? You mean, Finn's falling in lurve and he can't help it? *cough* I mean. Sorry. I'm shipping Finn/McCroy something fierce. Especially because she totally stands up to Finn (the big bully) without any qualms. Like, who just walks up to somebody and demands their book? (Obviously, Finn, but you can see what I'm getting at.) And even after all of his bullschwicky, she covers for him about not having a pass to the library. THEN even after she covers for him and is COUGHING UP SOMETHING (and you MUST tell me what's wrong with her because my heart is going to break I can just see it now), he STILL gives her crap. Damn, Finn. For such a flirt, he's got no sense of the ladies whatsoever. Ouch, Hero flashbacks must have him hurting, though...
Finn being invited to one of Slughorn's parties must put him somewhat in Tom's good graces -- I mean, if Tom has good graces, of course. I'm not overly sure that he does. And also, WHAT HAS HENRY POTTER DONE? Has he been framed? Why are you leaving me with all of these unanswered questions! (I mean, obviously, it's amazing because of the build-up of suspense and potential plot twists but it's killing me!)
Of course Tom needs more Dark Arts books. Also, the description of Finn's mother post-Hero's death is quite haunting.
Ohh, no! Who in the what in the why?! I'm all sorts of nervous now! Who was looking for what exactly?! Holy smokes.
I love how the Knights bit carried over, and that Finn picked it for the Duelling club team name. You see, I have this terrible feeling, and it's just my best guess, that you're not only going to make Finn fall in love with McCroy and have something terrible be wrong with McCroy. Oh no, I have this god-awful feeling that you're going to plot twist and make McCroy the Potter-kid (and I'm going to cry like crazy at the end of this). But. I can only guess. So, onwards I go.
Oh Lucretia fell for that one, reallllllllll quick-like. And of course he was gone before morning... Oh, Finn. I have a second terrible feeling that he somewhat deserves some of the bad things that are going to happen to him -- well, I can only assume bad things are going to happen to him at any rate.
Anyway, brilliant job! I WILL be back, of course (though, it might be a little bit what with NaNo on the horizon). See you on the other side!
Hello again! (3/4)
I love the stark contrast between Finn and Tom in the opening scene. Like, Finn's kind of going along with things but is WAY more interested in dinner (and, who can blame him?) while Tom is carefully trying to get everything in order to succeed. Because "I will rule." It's so awesomely, amazingly Tom.
There are still so many questions! What happened over the summer!? Who is the illegitimate Potter child? Will Finn and McCroy ever hook up -- things I must know!
Poor Finn can't even put his sock on! I love that he's such a flirt, it's adorable. He even goes as far as to romanticize finding and taking the Potter kid to Grindelwald. Ambitious, this one. (Obviously I don't mean romantic intentions, rather elegantly fantasizes about possibly dueling with him/her and how they will be no match for him).
Yeah, I wouldn't be overly keen to be paired with a Malfoy, either. I LOVE Finn's sense of purpose as he's practicing dueling -- he's becoming one with his wand and it's oh-so-brilliant (also, very well written with the imagery, btw). And THIS is why Hogwarts can't have dueling club. A Malfoy missing or 'missing' his target, or a Malfoy sending a snake after another student... Those Malfoys. Oh, hey, Patrick's got some moves though! Go, Patrick!
Finn is so distracted with getting the information for his father that he never even thought about his work that will get him into the Ministry to begin with :P. Oh, that surly Slytherin...gotta love him. Luckily for him, McCroy is on top of things, even first thing in the morning! And she IS right, they do do everything Tom does, but people inside his circle probably DID, I imagine. It's that crazy ability to make people follow along and do what he says is one of the major reasons he was so amazing at being an evil wizard. And I love how much pride Finn has! (I mean, he might be a little TOO proud but that's what makes him amazingly Finn.)
Poor Finn :(. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MCCROY?! She's supposed to save Finn from his dark path and make him see the light -- what is wrong with her?? You're going to kill her, aren't you? That's what was up with the 'Life's too short' bit earlier, wasn't it? You're out to make me cry, aren't you? D:
Ooof, yeah, Tom's mad. Holy Moly, did he just use the Cruciatus curse on Finn? 8-0 Friends don't torture friends!
Ahhh, I can't wait to see what happens next -- AMAZING JOB!
Hello again! (2/4)
Heheheh, kinda serves Finn right for being so rude to the Puffles that he be paired with one, though I do kind of feel bad for McCroy, since she didn't really do anything to deserve Finn's Slytherin wrath. However, I do sincerely enjoy the banter between the two as they're out and about looking for critters -- no two people make better banter than two people who dislike one another and are forced to be around one another. Also, given the extra bit of details of McCroy's past (the bit about her grandfather and so on), I'm guessing that she's going to be playing some kind of role in this, and I'm excited to figure out what!
8-0 Hold the phone -- an illegitimate Potter child at Hogwarts?! I didn't see that coming and I'm all kinds of stoked about it. (Have I mentioned that I'm all kinds of ramped up to be reading something during the Grindelwald era?) Of course, Grindelwald could use an illegitimate Potter child as a proverbial linchpin. I also LOVE that Jameson is using the school assignment and simultaneously his son to get information out of the Ministry. It's so villainous.
Tom's desire to be apart of Grindelwald's 'revolution' is amazing. The symbol of power that Grindelwald is and the power that Tom is to become is stunning and I love the parallels being drawn in this, especially since Tom is only a schoolboy and merely flirting with such power at this point. Also, Finn kind of deserved the mouth full of ash. I love that McCroy gives no stuff about dishing it right back out to Finn. It's pretty hilarious. Oooh, and what happened to Ben over the summer? Tom's characterization is absolutely amazing, by the way. I'm loving it!
I also adore that there's this side to Finn that doesn't entirely come out often beneath his father's and friend's influence -- the side that will defend his adopted Muggleborn cousin against a big bully. I also love the subtle infiltration of the military and Tom and Finn's plan to find this illegitimate child. I feel a whole lotta adventure coming on!
Once again, this is amazing and I've been loving every second of reading it!
I'll be back!
I'm here with your prize reviews! (No. 1/4)
So, I immediately fell in love with Finn, and I believe it has a lot to do with the voice coming through. I'm not sure if I've read anything yet where someone desperately doesn't want to go back to Hogwarts. That alone warrants my need to figure out why; your set-up for intrigue is excellent!
And I feel so terribly for him while he blames himself for his sister's death (solely based on the fact that it had been preventable, but he hadn't been there). The thought of returning to Hogwarts alone, without her, must be devastating-- the "treasure-like" glint of the ticket is beautiful irony. I'm also positively in love with the time this is set in, as I've never read anything from this specific time before (it feels like a whole new adventure). Aragog's framing is being taken to an entirely new level and it is the epitome of awesomesauce.
I'm super-excited about Finn's misguided perception of Tom, who was the actual perpetrator behind his sister's death. I also find the foreshadowing behind Tom scrawling down notes about the Unforgivable Curses to be absolutely amazing. Finn's overall unwanting to be viewed as 'weak' or 'approachable' seems highly fitting, given the company he keeps. Dark, broody, mildly flirty -- yeah, I dig it! Not only that, but he's a bit of a bully -- he's got antihero written all over him, and yet it feels like Tom's going to drag him along in his insane journey. Also, those poor Puffs.
And I absolutely adore being able to see Tom in this light, where he's just as I'd expect him to be. Finn's association with him is wonderful and it's giving me some epic characterization on both of them. You're filling in missing pieces of canon (eg. the ring) and it's pretty much blowing my mind. (In case you can't tell, I'm hella excited, and I'm pretty sure I fell in love with this story.) Tom's direction to have them all in Slughorn's graces because he views Slughorn as an asset and the idea of joining the Duelling Club -- it's all so fantastic.
The final section of this chapter is absolutely amazing as he reflects on his sister, feeling as though he needs to live for her now. The last line as the kicker with its double-meaning was huge!
This is absolutely amazing! Like, I had to read this twice to be able to write a coherent review. Like, my mind has been blown. I'm so excited for the next chapter!
Hiya! It's been a while, but I am back for more of Finn!
I've already commented on Tom so much between this story and Hero, but it never ceases to amaze me how well you've characterized him. He definitely isn't a character to cross and makes it known, time after time. He also has a very morbid sense of curiosity, which apparently doesn't alarm any of his friends here. I mean, I get it, but at the same time...he's got to have that ‘get as far away as possible' vibe to him...
As for Finn...he's kind of rude. Like, I'm glad he finished his part of the assignment and went to find Brindley right away, but like...to go ahead and tell Kettleburn that they both want Magical Law Enforcement? No surprise, but like...not cool Finn. At least the experience was new enough and Brindley decided to make the best of it.
I also enjoyed in this chapter how Brindley and Finn each got to see another little piece of each other. Like, Brindley saw his freak out over the spider along with creating a distraction to allow him to pull the file he wanted, and Finn caught the whole ‘why bother with a house' thing and didn't question the whole potion thing. And Brindley learning Finn was good a runes, despite his inability to hand in work on time. Like, it so fascinating to watch their relationship build and see how they change and get to know each other over time.
I am mildly concerned about Finn after this ministry stuff though. Get that strange feeling that the desk he pulled that file from was NOT the place he was meant to drop that note. Just get that sneaking suspicion (mostly because he wasn't sure who the head auror was) that it was probably not the desk he intended it for and the consequences to that one are not going to be nice. Just because that's how things always seem to go for Finn...
Anyways. I think that's all I've got for this chapter, so I'll leave off with my favourite quote from this chapter:
"You're right. Idiots Anonymous isn't my first choice of subscription, but I respect that you're trying."
OKAY. okay I'm ready. You've promised me that you're not going to kill them. YOU PROMISED. (okay, you've never said anything of the sort, but this is just wishful thinking at this point).
MOTHER REDEMPTION RIGHT OFF THE BAT OOH YEAH! Okay, you're my super favorite.
IS THE VASE A PORTKEY TO SAFETY? Is she going to knock Grindelwald upside the head with it? SO MANY POSSIBILITIES.
"But he had already become that." YES MY BOY! (I'm sorry this entire review is going to be like this but you get that for writing this kind of amazing story, okay? if you wanted quality reviews you should have written something boring so I had to find things to dissect so I could fill up the necessary lines)
"Finn contented himself with shouting insults at Tom in his head" this boy is my everything. He's 10/10. I've never loved a fictional character the way that I love him.
HE PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE! OH MY GOD FINN, OH MY GOD, MY BABY, HE'S LITERALLY THE BEST! Also I don't know if it was this chapter or last but I literally just said I'd like to punch him in the face and oh the satisfaction is out of this world!
and there was the most cutest love confession. they deserve a happily ever after. I'm just saying.
I love them so much. I hope that the Blishwicks made it out alive though. “a face like that only means trouble,” She doesn't know the half of it.
oh my god the ending I'm so happy. I'm so, so happy. I'm sad the story is over, but I'm so happy. Thank you for letting them live. I was terrified you wouldn't. This was the best and so are you.