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Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 19 Oct 2017 04:27 AM · Chapter: Stand and Deliver

Hello again! (3/4)

 

I love the stark contrast between Finn and Tom in the opening scene. Like, Finn's kind of going along with things but is WAY more interested in dinner (and, who can blame him?) while Tom is carefully trying to get everything in order to succeed. Because "I will rule." It's so awesomely, amazingly Tom. 

 

There are still so many questions! What happened over the summer!? Who is the illegitimate Potter child? Will Finn and McCroy ever hook up -- things I must know!

 

Poor Finn can't even put his sock on! I love that he's such a flirt, it's adorable. He even goes as far as to romanticize finding and taking the Potter kid to Grindelwald. Ambitious, this one. (Obviously I don't mean romantic intentions, rather elegantly fantasizes about possibly dueling with him/her and how they will be no match for him). 

 

Yeah, I wouldn't be overly keen to be paired with a Malfoy, either. I LOVE Finn's sense of purpose as he's practicing dueling -- he's becoming one with his wand and it's oh-so-brilliant (also, very well written with the imagery, btw). And THIS is why Hogwarts can't have dueling club. A Malfoy missing or 'missing' his target, or a Malfoy sending a snake after another student... Those Malfoys. Oh, hey, Patrick's got some moves though! Go, Patrick! 

 

Finn is so distracted with getting the information for his father that he never even thought about his work that will get him into the Ministry to begin with :P. Oh, that surly Slytherin...gotta love him. Luckily for him, McCroy is on top of things, even first thing in the morning! And she IS right, they do do everything Tom does, but people inside his circle probably DID, I imagine. It's that crazy ability to make people follow along and do what he says is one of the major reasons he was so amazing at being an evil wizard. And I love how much pride Finn has! (I mean, he might be a little TOO proud but that's what makes him amazingly Finn.)

 

Poor Finn :(. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MCCROY?! She's supposed to save Finn from his dark path and make him see the light -- what is wrong with her??  You're going to kill her, aren't you? That's what was up with the 'Life's too short' bit earlier, wasn't it? You're out to make me cry, aren't you? D: 

 

Ooof, yeah, Tom's mad. Holy Moly, did he just use the Cruciatus curse on Finn? 8-0 Friends don't torture friends!



Ahhh, I can't wait to see what happens next -- AMAZING JOB!

 

-Rumpels

 

 



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 06 Oct 2017 04:47 AM · Chapter: A New Day

Hello again! (2/4)

 

Heheheh, kinda serves Finn right for being so rude to the Puffles that he be paired with one, though I do kind of feel bad for McCroy, since she didn't really do anything to deserve Finn's Slytherin wrath. However, I do sincerely enjoy the banter between the two as they're out and about looking for critters -- no two people make better banter than two people who dislike one another and are forced to be around one another. Also, given the extra bit of details of McCroy's past (the bit about her grandfather and so on), I'm guessing that she's going to be playing some kind of role in this, and I'm excited to figure out what! 

 

8-0 Hold the phone -- an illegitimate Potter child at Hogwarts?! I didn't see that coming and I'm all kinds of stoked about it. (Have I mentioned that I'm all kinds of ramped up to be reading something during the Grindelwald era?) Of course, Grindelwald could use an illegitimate Potter child as a proverbial linchpin. I also LOVE that Jameson is using the school assignment and simultaneously his son to get information out of the Ministry. It's so villainous. 

 

Tom's desire to be apart of Grindelwald's 'revolution' is amazing. The symbol of power that Grindelwald is and the power that Tom is to become is stunning and I love the parallels being drawn in this, especially since Tom is only a schoolboy and merely flirting with such power at this point. Also, Finn kind of deserved the mouth full of ash. I love that McCroy gives no stuff about dishing it right back out to Finn. It's pretty hilarious. Oooh, and what happened to Ben over the summer? Tom's characterization is absolutely amazing, by the way. I'm loving it! 

 

I also adore that there's this side to Finn that doesn't entirely come out often beneath his father's and friend's influence -- the side that will defend his adopted Muggleborn cousin against a big bully. I also love the subtle infiltration of the military and Tom and Finn's plan to find this illegitimate child. I feel a whole lotta adventure coming on! 

 

Once again, this is amazing and I've been loving every second of reading it! 
I'll be back!

-Rumpel



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 04 Oct 2017 03:44 AM · Chapter: Left Behind

Hello! 

 

I'm here with your prize reviews! (No. 1/4)

 

So, I immediately fell in love with Finn, and I believe it has a lot to do with the voice coming through. I'm not sure if I've read anything yet where someone desperately doesn't want to go back to Hogwarts. That alone warrants my need to figure out why; your set-up for intrigue is excellent!

 

And I feel so terribly for him while he blames himself for his sister's death (solely based on the fact that it had been preventable, but he hadn't been there). The thought of returning to Hogwarts alone, without her, must be devastating-- the "treasure-like" glint of the ticket is beautiful irony.  I'm also positively in love with the time this is set in, as I've never read anything from this specific time before (it feels like a whole new adventure). Aragog's framing is being taken to an entirely new level and it is the epitome of awesomesauce.

 

I'm super-excited about Finn's misguided perception of Tom, who was the actual perpetrator behind his sister's death.  I also find the foreshadowing behind Tom scrawling down notes about the Unforgivable Curses to be absolutely amazing. Finn's overall unwanting to be viewed as 'weak' or 'approachable' seems highly fitting, given the company he keeps. Dark, broody, mildly flirty -- yeah, I dig it! Not only that, but he's a bit of a bully -- he's got antihero written all over him, and yet it feels like Tom's going to drag him along in his insane journey. Also, those poor Puffs.

 

And I absolutely adore being able to see Tom in this light, where he's just as I'd expect him to be. Finn's association with him is wonderful and it's giving me some epic characterization on both of them. You're filling in missing pieces of canon (eg. the ring) and it's pretty much blowing my mind. (In case you can't tell, I'm hella excited, and I'm pretty sure I fell in love with this story.)  Tom's direction to have them all in Slughorn's graces because he views Slughorn as an asset and the idea of joining the Duelling Club -- it's all so fantastic. 

 

The final section of this chapter is absolutely amazing as he reflects on his sister, feeling as though he needs to live for her now. The last line as the kicker with its double-meaning was huge!

 

This is absolutely amazing! Like, I had to read this twice to be able to write a coherent review. Like, my mind has been blown. I'm so excited for the next chapter! 

 

-Rumpel



Name: AltraX (Signed) · Date: 11 Sep 2017 07:50 AM · Chapter: The Ministry

Hiya! It's been a while, but I am back for more of Finn!
I've already commented on Tom so much between this story and Hero, but it never ceases to amaze me how well you've characterized him. He definitely isn't a character to cross and makes it known, time after time. He also has a very morbid sense of curiosity, which apparently doesn't alarm any of his friends here. I mean, I get it, but at the same time...he's got to have that ‘get as far away as possible' vibe to him...
As for Finn...he's kind of rude. Like, I'm glad he finished his part of the assignment and went to find Brindley right away, but like...to go ahead and tell Kettleburn that they both want Magical Law Enforcement? No surprise, but like...not cool Finn. At least the experience was new enough and Brindley decided to make the best of it.
I also enjoyed in this chapter how Brindley and Finn each got to see another little piece of each other. Like, Brindley saw his freak out over the spider along with creating a distraction to allow him to pull the file he wanted, and Finn caught the whole ‘why bother with a house' thing and didn't question the whole potion thing. And Brindley learning Finn was good a runes, despite his inability to hand in work on time. Like, it so fascinating to watch their relationship build and see how they change and get to know each other over time.
I am mildly concerned about Finn after this ministry stuff though. Get that strange feeling that the desk he pulled that file from was NOT the place he was meant to drop that note. Just get that sneaking suspicion (mostly because he wasn't sure who the head auror was) that it was probably not the desk he intended it for and the consequences to that one are not going to be nice. Just because that's how things always seem to go for Finn...
Anyways. I think that's all I've got for this chapter, so I'll leave off with my favourite quote from this chapter:
"You're right. Idiots Anonymous isn't my first choice of subscription, but I respect that you're trying."
Lovely chapter!-Mikaela



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 02:20 AM · Chapter: Deeper Than Oceans

OKAY. okay I'm ready. You've promised me that you're not going to kill them. YOU PROMISED. (okay, you've never said anything of the sort, but this is just wishful thinking at this point).

 

MOTHER REDEMPTION RIGHT OFF THE BAT OOH YEAH! Okay, you're my super favorite. 

 

IS THE VASE A PORTKEY TO SAFETY? Is she going to knock Grindelwald upside the head with it? SO MANY POSSIBILITIES.

 

"But he had already become that." YES MY BOY! (I'm sorry this entire review is going to be like this but you get that for writing this kind of amazing story, okay? if you wanted quality reviews you should have written something boring so I had to find things to dissect so I could fill up the necessary lines)

 

"Finn contented himself with shouting insults at Tom in his head" this boy is my everything. He's 10/10. I've never loved a fictional character the way that I love him. 

 

HE PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE! OH MY GOD FINN, OH MY GOD, MY BABY, HE'S LITERALLY THE BEST! Also I don't know if it was this chapter or last but I literally just said I'd like to punch him in the face and oh the satisfaction is out of this world!

 

and there was the most cutest love confession. they deserve a happily ever after. I'm just saying. 

 

PORTKEEYY! 

 

I love them so much. I hope that the Blishwicks made it out alive though. “a face like that only means trouble,” She doesn't know the half of it.

 

oh my god the ending I'm so happy. I'm so, so happy. I'm sad the story is over, but I'm so happy. Thank you for letting them live. I was terrified you wouldn't. This was the best and so are you.



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 02:03 AM · Chapter: Hollow

oh god i'm not ready for the end. B, let's not end yet. I only have this one and the next one and I'm not ready like at all. Is there a support group yet? I need a support group. 

 

Like nothing at all has even happened yet, he's just looking at the map and hoping he can figure it all out and my heart is already racing. I know I'm being unreasonable. I'm just too attached to my babies. 

 

I do wonder why Grindelwald was disinterested in Fleamont. That's a good point. 

 

UGH TOM ALWAYS THERE TO RUIN EVERYTHING. 

 

But also can we just talk about how clever Finn is with the whole Fleamont's eyes darting. Hero would be proud.

 

Poor Fleamont. I hope he doesn't go through too much torture. Minding his own, offering some kid tea, and then he just randomly gets jumped. 

 

Also shoutout to Fletcher for writing all of that because by the time I knew what like half the contents were I'd be too afraid to be associated with it, even if it was just by penmanship. 

 

“Aren’t you hot?” she asked. “You haven’t noticed yet?” I swear I love them more than words. 

 

Okay realistically I don't blame her for being so upset with him. I probably would too. Like Finn always has good intentions but then he does some bananas stuff that messes it all up. It's his way. She'll get the hang of it (assuming you GIVE HER THE CHANCE TO *silent plea she survives the next chapter*) 

 

Oh god, Sebastian. What are you even doing? BE A SWEET NON-VIOLENT BABY BOY. Tom is so far down on my list right now, I could punch him in his classically handsome face.

 

Also I would totally be sorry for Alenya Hills and even more sorry for Finn for having to deal with that on his mind and honestly for the rest of his life, but I can't properly be sad for her because WHERE IS MY SWEET BABY HUFFLEPUFF! 

 

There was so much character development in this chapter it was unreal. I'm just typing now because I'm terrified to click on the next chapter. JUST TELL ME SHE'S GOING TO BE OKAY. 

 



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:29 AM · Chapter: Immortal

Hello again!

I finished dinner and had to come right back to be certain sweet Finn baby would not sell out Brindley. As if that’s even a question.

I'm just basking in the whole selflessness of the bit about him needing to do something special for her really is. And yeah, he is doing the right thing. Even if it's putting someone else in harm's way. Such as his own tail.

This precious little outing is the best non-date date I've ever read too. I'm so in love with the two of them it's not even funny. I'M NOT CRYING YOU ARE. It’s so tempting for me to just stop here and pretend they live happily ever after dancing on top of a mountain by themselves. No death, no Tom, no Gellert. 

SHE'S SURE.

Also can we just talk about what a rune nerd he is. AND SOULMATE BIRTHMARKS.

Thank you for the always because that’s the way always should be. 

HERO! YOU SURPRISED ME WITH MY FAVORITE! Is it my birthday?

Part of me thinks he didn’t really trust Tom to begin with, but I’m glad Hero could come back and reinforce the notion in his mind. And that she didn’t tell him pointedly that he had been behind her death. I don’t think Finn would have thought before acting. 

“Because I think it will go with my outfit.” He’s my favorite character of all time. 

HOW WILL HE DO IT I NEED TO KNOW OMG.



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:28 AM · Chapter: No Rest For the Wicked

this one has my favorite line

 

Hello lovely! 

I just got home from vacation so I thought I’d make my way over to your story (where I belong).

I missed Finn. My precious angel baby. Congratulations for the frogs btw! I knew you'd make it! You're literally the best.

Me screeching loudly that he really should just tell Brindley about the danger she's in has been magnified but 100 fold in this chapter. But then again I understand why he wouldn’t. Brindley, for all of her Hufflepuffness, has the courage of a Gryffindor and would probably end up taking Grindelwald down herself.

“Usually he enjoyed his own company - and really, who wouldn’t” This is why I love him so much.

SWEET BABY GAY. Hello precious angel sweet Ben. Oh and him worrying about Finn giving him that same judgment and then Finn firmly not giving him any of that judgment AND THEN FOLLOWING IT WITH THE DEFENSE OF YOU CAN LOVE WHOEVER YOU LOVE. Yes. Yes it is that Hufflepuff girl.

Alright. It's decided. Even though I love charming, manipulative, evil Tom we've got to kill him. I’m ready for a coup. Besides the half-cocked one at the ministry.

NOT RADBOURNE. Not with all that I now know! No! He and Ben are going to live the happily ever after they deserve.

I was just thinking there's no way that Dumbledore would ever eat those chocolates and then there he is suddenly "allergic." I swear you've nailed every canon character I've ever seen. Ever. Also clever little Finn with his mental note. It would do him well to remember it.

Also can I pause just a moment to sigh pleasantly at the revelation that Finn is clearly stressed a bit. He was behind on theory, homework, every class, and there was that whole failed casual assassination attempt like half a second ago and then what does my precious boy do? He reaches in just to feel the note that she wrote him.

aand now I’m crying with this precious line: “I’d rather spend a few days with you,” he said quietly, “than years with anyone else.”

I can’t wait to read the next chapter which I see is already up and waiting to tempt me! I love your stories so, so much.



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:27 AM · Chapter: The Beginning of the End

okay this is the scary one

 

IGNORE HOW LATE I AM! I forgot to check my review thread. I have officially added it to my notification list though so never again!

Of course sweet baby Finn had doubts. And the whole underage kids overthrowing a major government thing had to make him doubt himself at least a little. 

I love how in character Tom always is. After reading your story (up until I ran out of chapters) I went and read at least a dozen other Tom fics (and boy some kind get risque), but I think at the end of the day your Tom is the best Tom. He just feels right and true and wonderfully evil.

I'm enchanted by the arrival of Albus Dumbledore. Not going to lie. What I want to know is if Dumbledore actually saw him or not. I mean I feel like he'd save the memory and go back and check and I feel like he'd make at least a few sweeping glances just to be able to do so.

OH HOT DOG. I'm getting some major Draco parallels. A dark family, not a whole lot of say in his life, trying to do too much for him to handle, a big mouth, a bit of a bully historically, AND tasked with killing Dumbledore. B, you're a genius, I'm telling you. These kinds of details totally helps me connect with him even more (even when he's a starkly different character than Draco).

"And I know about your filthy habit" why is this the best line I've ever read? Also, being compared to Hero here reminds me a lot of back in the first chapter (I think) of Hero where her parents seemed set on comparing her to him and my how the tables have turned.

So I know that our boy Finn isn't exactly known for his communication skills, but I can't help but wonder if a lot of head ache would be resolved if he just told Brindley a bit about what was going on. Especially the Potter stuff and the price on her head. 

Ah, I love the santa joke right before the terrible revelation. The banter is so easy and simple and I'm just so happy for him. 

(side note: will you be killing off every strong, brilliant female I love in life?)

“I haven’t.” *SOBS INTO THE VOID*

YEAAAH. "Trying to study." He has it bad. I love him.

Oh man the moral dilemma we are facing here at the end is just too much in all of the best ways. Also poor, poor Hills. She won't know what hit her. Goodness, will this girl end up being killed to protect Brindley? I hope not. I feel like Brindley would be peeved if she ever found out.

As always, I loved it. This is probably my favorite story of all time. And no, in the history of all of my reviews, I've never told anyone else that. This is the one.

 



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:26 AM · Chapter: A Snake in the Den

BB!

A NEW CHAPTER A NEW CHAPTER A NEW CHAPTER! 

Is this the blanket fort chapter? It's gotta be!

Look at baby Finn Finn being all encouraging right off the bat! Oh my god, he's the cutest. And he's growing ~aware~ of her. 

I feel 99% sure that she's the one he's looking for so what will happen if that's true and he figures it out? Like is he going to have to pick between her or his ...family values? I don't know how else to describe his awful Tom-Riddle-filled life with the parents and Gellert. Yuck. 

Did I mention I like that Madam Flint is Madam Flint? Like Marcus got a lot of heat even though he wasn't really much worse than Wood, so to have her be a relative is a nice little bit. 

G is totally Gellert Grindelwald. The jerk. It would explain why he's still prodding around at the poor family.

"Brindley was Henry Potter’s illegitimate child." OH GOd, He figured it out! Oh no. 

"He couldn’t protect Hero from the spider, or his father from the Elder Wand, but he could protect Brindley from Grindelwald." MY BOY. I knew he'd do right! (ignore my doubts of him just a paragraph above)

Poor porlock. Just minding its own business.

I have a bit of hope that maybe his mom wanting him to stay away is because she knows it's all bad news and wants him to be safe. They're just in too deep.

Lol at Brindley comparing him to a moth. I feel certain that chapter one Finn would have had a fit. 

I'm just going to live in the blanket fort scene. When all the other bad stuff happens, I'll just be in the blanket fort.

Low-key annoyed at him for grabbing Lucretia right after his perf kiss with Brindley, but I think it solidified that she was so important to him and it's really in his character. 

THIS CHAPTER WAS AMAZING. Like 15/10 did not disappoint. Now I'm dying for the next one!



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:24 AM · Chapter: Casablanca

A MONTH. HAVE I MENTIONED A MONTH? You should know that I very rarely actually check stories to see if they update and I literally just came to your story to see when the last chapter was so I could nag you into stopping your nano for half a moment and then WHAM. You do this. Or maybe I do this. Yes, I know it's my fault, but I can't take responsibility because I'm not an adult. 

I love how Slytherin he is without being really the negative aspect of Slytherin. I mean, yeah, he's a total badword, but at the same time he's dying to impress people. Like that's what most of his flaws come down to. His pride.

OH, I love the mystery of his cousin.

At first I read this line:"he’d never had so much to think about before" as "he'd never had to think before." and died laughing when I realized my mistake. Poor Finn. I love Finn. 

Sebastian is my baby love. Let's not kill him. Deal? Deal.

"He knew Hufflepuffs were honest, but weren’t they supposed to use their powers for good?" That's the thing about Hufflepuffs. They are evil in the best ways. 

MORE MYSTERY! Oh, poor Brindley. She's seriously had the worst lot in life, but somehow keeps this magnificent personality through it all. 

OH GOD IS IT HER? OMG, IS SHE THE BABY HE'S LOOKING FOR? don't answer that, but it's my suspicion. 

“Almost, but I stopped it just in time.” Just in time to make me squeal. Ugh, that's it. I'm in love with both of them. THIS IS BASICALLY A DATE. 

The Hufflepuff tunnel myth was amazing and I don't think it's cannon, but I believe it now with my whole heart. 

I like a lot that Finn is so put off by the car thing. It makes a lot of sense and it's some really solid character development. 

"Brindley linked her fingers with Finn’s." It's fine, I'm just going to scream for a few hours. 

FORGET NANO AND GIVE ME SO FRINNDLEY. Well, not really, but I seriously can't wait for the next chapter and for me to squeal more and for my dogs to keep panicking because of the excited noises I tend to make. You're seriously the best writer.



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:23 AM · Chapter: Poison

still transferring these reviews over, but can i just say im sorry for how shouty these get? like i can spot my review from all the other ones pretty quickly because of the excess use of caps

 

HELLO LOVELY.

So I took my time coming here even though HOT DOG I wanted to read and review the moment you said it was up because I've been in a medicine fog and I left Dan the most nonsensical review during said fog. Literally it's half gibberish. 

A summary of this review will be mostly: MY HEART OH MY HEART IM SO HAPPY WE ARE FALLING IN LOVE.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, GRINDELWALD OMG POOR FINN AND JAMESON. Well, Jameson gets what he gets, but poor Finn! That's certainly all the motivation he needed though. 

Tom is way more Tom in this chapter. He's developed from moderately evil to someone go back in time and kill him as a baby evil. His reaction when his friends disobeyed him was over the top in the best way. It really demonstrated that he didn't view them as peers at all, but rather pawns to be used and abused. And then the poor Hufflepuff baby! Also the Hufflepuff baby really highlighted Finn's growth and change. At the beginning of Hero he'd have gladly joined in harrassing, even if he didn't really want to cause too much harm. Now he's rushing to the defense of some baby puff. WHOA. 

On the note of Finn, I feel like a lot of these changes are both Brindley induced but also Hero induced. He's becoming someone she would have been proud of. (SOBS FOR MY DEAD BB)

WE WERE SO CLOSE TO FINDING OUT ABOUT BEN'S MUGGLE. You torture us on purpose.

Based on Ben and Radbourne's response to Tom's demands I wonder if they are seeing more evil Tom than Finn is. 

Now for my squee: THE HOSPITAL SCENE AND THE CLOSET SCENE AND MY HEART OMG LET'S DO THIS I'M SO IN LOVE THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS BABIES. DO THEY EVEN KNOW HOW CUTE THEY ARE?

 



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:21 AM · Chapter: The Ministry

BRB JUST GOTTA SCREAM AND EEK FOR A MOMENT!

I swear every force in the universe tried to stop me from finishing this chapter (namely my husband who is a part time man baby). 

Poor Finn being stuck in the dungeons on such a nice day. He can't even oggly innocent girls. I love the visual that all of your stories create. The entire bit about the paper being stuck to his cheek was just the icing on the cake. I could picture and hear the entire potions classroom. How glorious!

Tom and his diary. Ugh, he's such a teenage girl. TBH I think Finn's question is one we all want to know. 

Tom. You're being creepy with the whole slow burn kind of torture spell. Super creepy. 

You know, even if she has a super obnoxious laugh, I love that Finn can pick it out in a crowd. He sure is *ahem* aware of her at all times, don't you think? I wonder why... ;)

Ben, total Slytherin move. NOT. COOL. Shout out to Radbourne though. He has his priorities straight.

Smaller bugs. lol. I wonder if a lot of magical beetles are carnivorous? Let's just have you do an entire magical entomology class. Yes? Yes. I really thought that answer would bite him in the rear since he wasn't sure but it didn't and I'm relieved.

Honestly this line (of all the awesome lines present in this chapter) made me laugh the most: "Learning how to make a hasty escape was something he was rather interested in." It's just very Finn. 

Let's just talk a moment about knight-in-shining-armor Finn. Oh my goodness. Adorable. I'm in love. Let's plan the wedding now (AND FFS DON'T KILL HER). He was idly thinking about her (*swoon*) and then there she is and there's an obvious jealousy monster in his tummy and THEN he swoops in, short but mean, and saves the day. ♥ 

In the department she really shines to me. She can see how desperate he was and despite the fact that he betrayed her by forcing her to be there in the first place instead of loving on sweet magical animals, she still helps him. With an adorable wink too! IM SO IN LOVE. 

“You don’t want to be an Auror. You’re the type of person Aurors try to catch.” I'm in pieces. This was the best line. THEN FINN'S RESPONSE. Well, that's just rude. No denial. Hilarious. 

OH, does he suspect Tom yet now that he knows the spider is actually pretty docile? WHAT WILL HE DO WHEN HE FIGURES IT OUT? Also don't kill her pleaaase. Let her have a house. My heart. You don't understand! 

The end! :D Oh the end. HE CALLED HER BRINDLEY. My heart is so full



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:21 AM · Chapter: Under the Helmet

LOOK HOW LONG THIS CHAPTER IS! YOU'RE SPOILING US READERS!

I like how Finn is annoyed with his friends for not having done the essay he wanted to copy off them. 

Grindelwald already overthrew the French Ministry? It'll be a matter of time before he takes on the British then! Yikes. Too soon! Finn better decide where his allegiance lies and quick! 

Yeah, Finn I'm not sure that's really all that brag worthy that your family is so close to Grindelwald. I think that should be kept on the down-low. The funny thing here for me is how much this conversation with Malfoy mirrors the conversation with Draco about his special mission he was especially chosen for.

“Better watch your mouth.” I love Briony so much. She’s my spirit animal. I wonder who she’s taking all that food to. Based on her response I don’t think it’s just for her at all. 

To be fair, I don’t think that Brindley would have flinched at Tom’s glare either. She’s just too awesome for any of that. She’d probably consider hexing him.

So she's not coughing up blood because it's thicker and darker than blood. Maybe some kind of weird wizard disease? Maybe some kind of weird curse? Either way I'm worried about her. You aren't going to kill her too, are you? She's my favorite. You can't. Also Finn is crazy insensitive about her coughing. It's in his character of course but dear Merlin himself, it's just some coughing. Be nice. 

Finn is so cute when he's acting all jealous. Face like a goblin that got trampled by a centaur and then hit by the Knight Bus? Excellent. He only just accepted that she was rather attractive so I don’t know if he knows he’s acting jealous. He totally is.

“Hero never deserved his nastiness, and he wished with all his heart he could take it back.” It’s fine. I’m not crying here or anything. It’s allergies. 

I’m quite happy for Finn for being recognized by Slughorn, even if he probably shouldn’t be and it’s only going to lead to open doors he doesn’t need. It will be much easier to get that Ministry thing if he has Sluggy on his side. 

What I’m wondering is if maybe Brindley is the Potter’s illegitimate child? It could be her because you use words like child instead of a specific gender and I’d like to think it’s a maybe. What if it’s a Blishwick? WHO COULD IT BE? You’d probably laugh at me but I went through your previous chapters searching for the word nose to see if you already told us someone had an upturned nose. No nose. 

This is a very different Jameson than what we are used to and I'm terrified for the Blishwicks. They bit off more than they could chew.

I just researched Halcyon’s name because what an odd name and I’m wondering if there’s some foreshadowing in it? Don’t answer that. I’ll wait and see. She really does seem like a good mother, even if she wasn’t the best to Hero. 

“You’re the princess we rescue.” Oh my god I love these teenagers. 

All of this chapter was so excellent! So much happened in this chapter and honestly I’m so addicted to this story! I can’t wait for the next one!



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:20 AM · Chapter: Stand and Deliver

Did you notice that I read this but failed to review it? Merlin, I'm a monster. 

I also like Ben so let's not kill Ben. Deal? DEAL. He seems like a nice normalish teenage boy and doesn't deserve to die. 

"Tom was nowhere to be seen." GOOD. STAY THAT WAY YOU JERK.

I'm curious what Brindley's medical reason was for being late. Is it major? Is it minor? WHAT IS IT? Finn, you're mean to the Hufflepuffs now but you're about to fall in lurve.

ALSO I'm shaking my tailfeathers at the thought of them as partners. They're going to fall in love and there's nothing Tom can do about it! Oh, I can see the wedding now. It would be gold accent themed because it would be Hufflepuff because he just wants to make her happy. Slight tangent, back on track.

“It’s the pretty things that are dangerous,” he muttered under his breath. FORESHADOWING? She's awfully pretty, isn't she? 

The mastilio spider. My heart aches so much for poor Finn. I'm so glad that Brindley gets to see that side of him though.

He's not all rude words and evil glares. He's very human still. The line about how his twin had taken half with her when she died was just so devastating for the reader. I'm just so upset still for him having to go through this. 

OF COURSE SHE'S NOT JUST GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU MOODY BRAT! That's going to lure him in for sure even if that's not at all her goal.

RUN AWAY FINN. NO BESMURTEN FOR YOU, BB.

UGH JAMESON STOP USING YOUR LITTLE BABY BOY, THIS IS EXACTLY HOW YOU LOST YOUR LITTLE GIRL! 

You can't keep anyone safe, Jameson, you pushed Hero into the arms of her murderer! This is not the legacy Hero would want! 

I'm so hoping that we get Finn to the rest of the Blishwicks instead. How are they? I miss them. I'm so glad Sebastian is okay and even though jerkwad disowned him, I like that Finn still is trying there. I mean he immediately came to his aid! There's my good guy Finn. 

Despite all of this stress that Tom Riddle is adding to my life by torturing my favorite characters, I just am so happy to know that I have one more chapter to read once I recover from this beautiful chapter! You're seriously one of the best writers (fanfic or OF) that I've ever read. I hope you keep doing this for the rest of your life because you'll be published one day, I just know it.



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:19 AM · Chapter: A New Day

HELLO! 

Can I just say this chapter was so wonderful? It was so wonderful. I felt like we had so much development of Finn. He's my one true love. 

Oh! and Brindley! My heart is so full for her. She's my person. I can't wait to find out more about what exactly is going on and why is she so ill (and apparently it isn't very treatable). Heaven forbid it's Tom's doing. Not likely, but you never know with your stories! I love how hardworking and dedicated she is. I also love how transfixed Finn was with the idea that she wasn't in to him. Like to the point he screwed up the entire mission. I can see it now! I love how she doesn't even think twice before putting him in the place with the "you're stupid" comment.

So Tom was very Tom in this chapter. You really see a much stronger glimmer of that Lord Voldemortesque behavior. It's less polite Tom who was authoritative but somewhat off and more power hungry ego maniac. “Not by his side,” Tom had replied. “But I will rule.” YEESH. That's a good line. 

I'm very interested in what in the world Tom would want the Protean charm for. Perhaps that's how he got the Dark Mark to work for his followers? I'm not sure and now I need to go do some research. If not that, I think it would definitely be used for some form of communication. Or maybe not. I don't know. Very cool though.

One thing I really, really love is how much Hero is still on his mind. He's mentioning her when he talks about shooting random hexes or how hard she studied or whenever in every chapter and I just love it so much. He hasn't just moved on or forgotten his sister. I do want to know if he'd fight Tom if he knew. I feel like our rash, hotheaded Finn would absolutely do his worst. 

The Potter's child storyline is very intriguing and really it makes the whole Potter story that comes later even more interesting. He's been tangled up in the family for years! 

Finn's fear of owls was hilarious and a really nice little tidbit. 

YASSS to the The Knights of Walpurgis name too. You do such an amazing job weaving so many bits like that into your stories and that's what really sets your stories apart from the rest. Also I love that it was like Finn's own little rebellion (fueled by Brindley no less!) and it feels so good to see him grow a bit.

As always, excellent chapter! I don't even know how I lived without it.



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2017 01:18 AM · Chapter: Left Behind

Okay I've been hemming and hawing when it comes to coming back to this story because I'm not ready for it to end. And obviously now it's ended and I'm not emotionally prepared, but I figure it's time to face it and ugly cry because no matter how it ends it's going to be amazing. So I'm transferring my reviews here (which I have no idea why I haven't already done that??? but still...and then I'm finishing it. I'll cry on twitter next. Be ready.)

Hi there! 


SO SOON! I'm not sure if I'm ready to move on! That being said, I'm so looking forward to the aftermath of Hero.

I love the really cool detail about his watch using runes instead of numbers. You always go out of your way to provide awesome details like that.

I'm a bit shocked that Finn didn't immediately suspect Tom. I know he's charismatic and seemed rather smitten with Hero but there must have been some gnawing doubt or will be some gnawing doubt. I mean he knows the monster behind the mask. Although, I guess he's not going to immediately assume murder when it comes to a spider bite. I wonder how her friends are reacting to it all. I hope that in later chapters we at least get a glimpse of them.

Part of me is really happy that Jameson locked himself away and mourned the loss of his daughter. I wasn't entirely certain he would. I hate the pain that Finn is going through but at the same time I'm just so glad that before her death he was at least making amends with her. That has to be of some comfort to him.  

All of the wand jokes were hilarious. I think it's really telling about Tom's nature that he didn't laugh along with them. He's not a teenage boy at all! I love the tidbit about having to lock away his basilisk for the time being and how petulant he is about it. 

I can't help but feel like Tom is interested in Grindelwald not because of the cause itself although he's obviously in line with the idea, but I think he seems interested in studying the same sort of attention grabbing techniques that he has. I don't think Tom could ever be a follower of anyone because his ego wouldn't allow it.

I love the interaction of Finn and Brindley. I ship Frinndley so hard. Seriously though, she doesn't go along with his garbage. She talked back to him and I think that'll be hard for him to ignore. She's so sassy, I love it. I also realyl liked Finn's line about "If you're going to die, can you do it quietly?" It was hilarious even though the girls got reasonably upset about it. 

I think this line was really powerful: 
"She was everything he wanted to be. He was everything she feared to become." That's too much pressure for one boy. There's no way that he could live for the both of them. He can only live for himself.

As always, I can't wait for another update you brilliant writer! ♥



Name: AltraX (Signed) · Date: 27 Jun 2017 12:31 PM · Chapter: Under the Helmet

Hiya! Back again!

 

"(Finns were not studious creatures)". I definitely laughed at that. Especially because I knew the moment he left the common room to head to the library that he was going to run into McCroy. It was too perfect of a set up and I enjoyed watching them go back and forth about the book, McCroy not just giving into Finn being rude. He needs that in his laugh. I also think, despite Finn's best attempts, that McCroy is getting under his skin. I think she really bothers him, pokes him in his weak spots when he's not expecting it...like, she's not really telling him anything he doesn't already know, but she always does so in a way that makes him think. I kind of really like her and have a feeling things are going to be more between them...

 

Also, before I go too far, that black gunk she's coughing up? Like, blowing that off like it's fine definitely isn't going to convince anyone. Maybe it's because in my nurse brain, I'm totally like, yeah, not a good thing at all, but like...Finn points it out despite being deflected and it's interesting. I know she was just talking about treatment in the last chapter but...

 

I also found it interesting with Finn and Tom back at Blishwick Manor. Like, the Besmurten are definitely a wee bit creepy. Not people I would want to be around. But Tom handles them like a pro, and him and those books...I'm left to assume, since the scene with Slughorn is here, that Tom is looking for information regarding Horcruxes. I'm also assuming he's not finding what he's looking for, as he keeps taking more books.

 

I also don't see this ministry thing going well. For some reason, Finn and doing things for the Besmurten...like, I don't think he's a bad enough character for that. It will be interesting to see where that goes...

 

That said, another fantastic chapter! See you soon! :D

 

-Mikaela xx



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 23 Jun 2017 06:49 PM · Chapter: Deeper Than Oceans

BB!!

So, firstly congratulations on finishing this beautiful award winning story! I seriously was so nervous going into this as I love this story so much, it's so sad it's finished but I wasn't sure what to expect! It was so surprised and happy with this ending!

So I've never review this story in any detail before, just general crazy fan-girling! I wanted to say something about the story as a whole. So I think the strongest point of this story is really your characteristics of your OC. You've played everything about Finn perfectly, you've got this character with a tough public face but inside has so many layers and conflicts in his mind yet his heart is good. It was amazing that you got so many aspect of Finn's personality into this story. He is so three dimensional, I'm such a sucker for the moody slytherin gone good. It's something you do really well in Hero too. The way you've written your characters and your sheer talent at doing so is the reason that your OF is going to be a big success too. I need to have a word about Brindley, she's amazing - she's a sassy puff! you've played all the emotions so damn well, they had perfect chemistry between them. You really deserve your frog for your OC. When I found out about the frogs, it was seriously the first thing I knew I was going to nominate.

I think I need to move on to your plot line, I really love the romantic side of your story but it was so much more than that. I've always so impressed when people can create story line with different levels. I thought the story line was really well thought out, you added mystery and suspense. The issues with war and you even tackle lgt issues here with two of Finn's friends which is huge for the story being set in 1940s. I was on the edge of my seat for a lot of this story, you did a perfect job at keeping the pacing within the story too. I was left wanting more every chapter and I've coming back, I always got excited about a new chapter but it didn't drag as a story or have too much filler. I thought that was amazingly done, the balance you had in this story. I've not really read anyone's OF before but I will be making a point to read yours.

So, I guess I've talked about more the story in general so I shall move onto reviewing more of this chapter. I obviously loved it! It was just stunning, I thought it was so 'rowling'-ques because it felt like real harry potter writing like the little touches. I love the idea of the curse kinda rebounding which ended up saving Brindley, it has so many links to the curse between Harry and Voldermort. The scene with Finn and Brindley on the beach reminded me so much the scene when dobby dies. They weren't over done but I loved them! yay for Finn's mother and her portkey, I'm so proud of her though I kinda hate to think what might have happened to her afterwards. please say that she's ok??

sefnipspgnoerigfbesio! so that's basically my first reaction like I have no words that made any sense. I can't believe they had a happy ending, after Hero I didn't think you did happy endings! It was such an amazing surprise ending for me! I just want to know what happens next though, it's hopefully they have like million perfect babies and happily ever after! I guess Declan Blishwick is somewhat proof of this!? I also want Finn to be really badass and go after Tom too! I'm so happyhappyhappy that you finished this, thank you so much for sharing harder they fall with us! :)

- Abbi xo    



Name: AltraX (Signed) · Date: 22 Jun 2017 08:19 AM · Chapter: Stand and Deliver

Hiya! Guess whose back?! ;)

 

I admittedly will probably not power read and review this story, like I did with Hero, but I am going to pop in occasionally to review another chapter here or there because I like Finn’s character and your writing. So.

 

The one thing that I’ve loved about the chapters thus far is the quote at the top of each of them, and how they relate to everything that happens in the chapter. I’m not sure why I love how it sets everything up, but like…I wanted to be sure to mention that I love them. Especially this one.

 

That said. Tom. He is all in this for himself. I think he makes that very clear, but does so in a way that’s very…guarded, I guess? Like, he presents it in a way that pushes, in this case, Finn to try harder. Not for the sake of Finn being able to do it, but for the sake of Finn being able to do something that benefits Tom. Like it’s scary how much power Tom has here. And only more terrifying when Finn doesn’t manage to get the records (in which Tom uses his frightening ability to distract people in an innocent manner while doing bad things), and Tom does his wandless magic thing. Like, total manipulation to get what he wants how he wants it and just…it was a wee bit intense.

 

I did enjoy the duelling club, and how after the whole Malfoy/Finn thing. I knew it was only a matter of time before that didn’t go well, and I don’t assume they’re going to be pairing up again, anytime soon… xD

 

And the part I was saving for last here. McCroy. I loved that entire interaction. She definitely pushes Finn’s buttons, and she pushes just the right ones too. She gets the idea in his head about maybe actually doing the assignment they’re supposed to be doing, and calling him out about judging everything straight away. Like, he needed to hear it, I think. And it definitely stuck with him when he decided upon the name for the team, rather than letting Tom doing. Like, interesting development there…especially when he then goes and eavesdrops on her conversation instead of getting the records…I have a feeling this isn’t going to be just a onetime issue and am interested to see where you go from here…

 

Overall, lovely chapter! Hopefully will be back soon for more! :D

 

-Mikaela xx



Name: dreamgazer220 (Signed) · Date: 22 Jun 2017 12:02 AM · Chapter: Deeper Than Oceans

Bianca, I have a couple of things to formally say to you in a review, but that can wait because:

DEAR GOD THIS CHAPTER WAS A ROLLERCOASTER! Okay, so I was all ready to riot because I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen to Brindley.  It broke my heart when Finn walked away from her and couldn't think of anything to say.

I don't think there's ever been a punch more satisfying except for when Hermione punched Malfoy in PoA.  I chuckled that Finn thought Tom wasn't capable of bleeding, and it's such a Finn thought.  AND I'm so impressed with his power and that he was able to use his wand with all that magic. I was totally cheering for him, despite the fact that I wanted to shake him - and I think that's the mark of a good character. He's made some huge mistakes, but in the end, he redeems himself, and I'm SO happy that he was able to save Brindley.

So what happened with her curse? Was it that Grindelward hit her with it a second time and it kind of counter-acted? That's what I took from it when you mentioned the snake venom effect. 

Awww, go Mama Blishwick! A Portkey is SO SMART.

And the beach! Ugh, my heart.  I'm so glad that Finn and Brindley got the happily ever after they deserved.  They've been through so much together and I'm so proud that Finn wants to make the Blishwick name into something good.  And get revenge for Tom.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING THEM LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER, MY BABIES. Although you could definitely write more Finn, I mean... come on! He's going to hunt down Tom Riddle! How can you not write that story?!?!?!

This is really just me begging you with puppy dog eyes.  Is it working?

So the things I wanted to formally say:  I'm so impressed by you, your writing, and your character growth.  I know Julie is a goddess, but you've always had talent, and I'm so proud to see how far you've grown from the first chapter of Hero (which was excellent) to now. I'm also impressed that you've managed to finish two stories in a year or two (I'm lazy right now to go look).

Thank you for sharing this story and Finn with us.

Love you long time

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
J



Name: dreamgazer220 (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 11:37 PM · Chapter: Hollow

Excuse me.  EXCUSE ME, BIANCA.

I'm sorry, Finn, but when you gave Grindelward that girl's name, what did you really expect him to do? Nothing? I totally get that you want to protect Brindley, but UGH.  That poor girl was just a little pawn and my only consolation is that he's feeling horrible over it, as he should.

ALSO, you knew you were going to study with Brindley and you didn't really hide the note or the cloak all that well. UGH, Finn, sometimes I want to shake you.  

I really just want to hug Brindley, okay? She could use a hug or three, I can't imagine how hurt she is by Finn right now. BUT ALSO, Grindelward better not hurt her or else I'll riot. Or Tom, for that matter. Can I punch Tom? I'm not at all surprised that he tracked Finn to find the cloak.

Also, how did Finn know where the cloak was hidden? 

Fantastic chapter, B! As much as I want to shake Finn, he's still one of my favorite characters. He's grown so much but then he does things like this and just UGHHH. (And you wonder why I referred to you as Queen Stiefvater, geez.)

I don't think I'm ready for the last chapter.



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 09:56 PM · Chapter: Deeper Than Oceans

WOWOWOWOWWOW THIS WAS SO AMAZING BIANCA. YOU ARE AMAZING

 

This chapter was so powerful. You really heaped on the angst and grief there in the first part and I was so convinced Brindley was dead, and then when she breathed I could barely believe it and normally happy endings are too sweet for me but I needed this one. Considering how much these two have been through in all the previous chapters, they deserved a happy ending together.

 

I was quite literally on the edge of my seat this entire chapter and didn't even look away when some lady in the library came by and looked over my shoulder at what I was reading and it was clearly fanfiction but I COULD NOT STOP READING. The suspense in this chapter was just incredible.

 

And I know I was angry at Finn last chapter, but I think he was angry with himself too, and he needed to be. He needed to understand how much he had messed up, and now that he has, I was on his side again and cheering for him. I loved when he punched Tom in the face and how he is unashamed of loving Brindley and he's just grown up so much through this story - thinking of the Finn in the beginning of the story with dreams of being Grindelwald's little minion, to how he's become who he is now, it's really remarkable and I'm so happy everything worked out for him. And I'm also glad he learned the truth about Hero's death - he deserved to know that. :(

 

Congrats on finishing this story! This really has been an amazing, award-winningly fantastic story so well done on completing it! I'm sorry this review is all over the place, but my emotions are all over the place after this chapter because it was so good. Amazing work! ♥



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 09:34 PM · Chapter: Hollow

How is this story finished already! Gah, this chapter was so hard to read. Not because of the writing quality, because that was superb of course. Mostly because I'm so frustrated at Finn's short-sightedness and poor decision making. I am glad Sebastian tied him up at the end and tried to shake some sense into him (however badly that worked) because it was something I very much wanted to do myself.

Honestly, Finn isn't that likeable right now- he condemned an innocent girl to death for personal gain/because he valued her life less than Brindley's, and then he stole from an middle aged poor man whom Tom had just left unconscious. He's not at the top of my list of winners right now. BUT despite all of that, I still want everything to work out for him. Despite what a mess he is, he's doing all these wrong things for the right reasons, he just hasn't thought through the consequences, and that's why I ultimately do like Finn. I don't like him, but I like him - I'm sure that makes loads of sense. :P but omg, he really is a fascinating character and he has really screwed some things up and I want it all to be okay.

Poor Brindley. I can't blame her for walking out on Finn - I know he was trying to protect her, but he was such a meddler about it, deliberately hiding things from her that she'd wanted to know for so long, and had a right to know. And now I'm worried about what's going to happen to her, and I have some bad suspicions :(

I feel so badly for Sebastian too, trying to take things into his own hands and get out of the manipulations of his family but not realizing that he's still being manipulated by Tom.

The final chapter is awaiting me so I have nothing else to say other than that you are a fantastic writer. ♥



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 07:57 PM · Chapter: Deeper Than Oceans

B, I love you!!!
And I love this ending!!!
And I love this whole story, and your wonderful writing, and your brilliant mind!!!
And I'm so proud of you for getting to the end of this! I can't believe it's finished, I'm so excited and a tiny bit sad at the same time... (also, how awesome is it that we finished our stories practically at the same time?)

Okay, I'll stop blubbering and try to leave an actual review now... :P

So, first... I love Finn's Mum! I love that in the end all she cares about is her son being safe and happy. Such a stark contrast with Jameson, who primarily cares about the good name of the family. I felt so awful when he rejected Finn...

And speaking of Finn... I couldn't be more proud of him! I loved the scene when he broke the Hallows symbol, it was so brave of him. You can really tell how much he's grown up and changed since the story started.

I hate, hate, HATE Tom! Poor Finn, I felt so bad when Tom finally told him what he'd done to Hero... :(

Oh, and I love that the Cloak was fake! Fleamont is so smart! ;)

You really fooled me... I truly believed Brindley was gone for a moment... how dared you scared me that way? Shake-what???

But then she opened her eyes, and she wasn't ill anymore and that was so amazing and made up for any previous heartbreak. I so loved the concept that the curse nullified itself, such a stroke of genius! (By the way, I don't think I've commented on it before, but your Grindelwald was amazing, too. You just have a talent at writing dark wizard, I guess...)

I'm so glad Brindley decided to forgive him. I mean, I'm not surprised that she did. How could she not when he'd tried so hard to set things right? I loved that she made a blanket fort, like when they first kissed. Such a nice touch!

I so love the idea of Brindley and Fleamont trying to build a relationship. And now I want that Marauder sequel even more. I love the idea that the children of Finn and Brindley grew up with James! :D

Oh, by the way... talking about family and cousins and stuff... what about my little Bash? I like the idea that he made up with Finn and Brindley and they kept in touch... but maybe not? I just hope he won't get involved any more with Tom and the future Death Eaters...

So, to cut it short, I loved this, and I'm so glad you gave us a happy ending (no, it wasn't obvious... I mean, do you remember how you ended Hero???)

I know I tell you all the time, but you are an amazing writer!

Thank you so much for this wonderful story!
Snowball hug!
Your little Chi!



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